Is it common for aspies take sarcasm or humor seriously?

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I sometimes can't tell if someone is being sarcastic, joking or just exaggerating sometimes? Like last week when my good friend asked me if I was going to get my hair done before I see her and get my hair done for her before I went on a outing with her, she then she was joking and I thought she was serious. Or just now when my friend through messenger on FB says the news was great, I thought was serious and it turns out she was being sarcastic. So I have trouble figuring out if someone is not being serious when they say something to me. Do any of you have that problem?

Personally I'm usually okay with sarcasm but many, many people with autism are not. I think it's very common.

That's considered one of the telltale signs of autism, from what I understand.

Personally I don't usually have any trouble figuring out when someone is joking or being sarcastic- my problem is I don't know how much truth there is to what they're saying. Sometimes people joke about things that they actually believe, or half believe (so in your hair example I would have a hard time understanding if she thought my hair was perfect and was making a sarcastic joke about how I wouldn't need to do anything to it, or if she really did think that my hair needed fixing up and was trying to say so in a roundabout way by making a joke about it)

Its supposed to be a trait...taking things literally, and not reading between the lines, and like that.

Yes.

We're also supposed to be subpar when it comes to symbolic language (metaphor, simile, etc).

Obviously this will vary from individual to individual, but often those of us who are skilled with humour, sarcasm, symbolic language, etc often developed those skills despite not possessing a high level of innate talent.

Yes.
But it gets better when you grow old.

I'm very literal.

I mess up all the time by interpreting statements at face value.

I can be sarcastic and sardonic, but I have a hard time understanding it.

I seem to be able to understand it face to face, more easily than online.
I get caught out at least once a week on social media.

This is one trait that I don't have. Comedy is one of my special interests. I love some witty, playful sarcasm. This may be the reason I'm watching through "Frasier" for the umpteenth time.

Actually, I'm usually uncomfortable if I'm in a situation where it's not appropriate to make jokes. I often don't know what to say.

I'm reminded of this article by Ricky Gervais:
https://time.com/3720218/difference-bet ... sh-humour/

I'm American, but I joke that I must have been British in another life, because I relate to this:

There was one time I recall that I didn't pick up on sarcasm. I had just started working at my retail job after years of being unemployed. I went in the store on my day off to buy some things and was already stressed because I was in a hurry. My new co-worker told me I was going to get in trouble because we weren't allowed to come into the store on our days off. I was terrified I was going to lose my new job. Later, I learned that guy had a really deadpan sense of humor.

Usually, when I use sarcasm, I do it for lighthearted, humorous purposes. However, I have also been known to get sarcastic when I'm angry. Many years ago, I had a girlfriend who objected to that. I don't know if she was on the spectrum or not. I'm a fairly timid, non-confrontational person and she had a hair-trigger temper. She expressed her anger through hateful glares and screaming. When I finally got angry back at her, I would express it through sarcasm. So she made a "rule" that we weren't allowed to get sarcastic when we argued. I believe this is because she could intimidate anyone with her rage, but my sarcasm was the one thing she knew she couldn't best me at during an argument and she wanted to take that away from me. (Her rage, of course, she considered perfectly fine. She even complained that she didn't feel comfortable enough getting mad at me, claiming "yelling is love.")

Last edited by vividgroovy on 16 Aug 2023, 10:17 pm, edited 3 times in total.

I have learned a lot of social skills since my younger years, but I still have trouble with sarcasm. I do often take people seriously and have a hard time knowing for sure if they're serious or not

I've heard that it's common, but I can't remember having a problem with it. My father was often sarcastic, so I guess I soon learned to interpret the stuff. I'm often sarcastic myself. There's usually a tone of voice that signals sarcasm, and the other clue is that what they say is the opposite of what would have been a serious, literal comment.

As for this "play fighting" thing, I've seen it done in the USA and in the UK. I find it a bit more difficult to deal with than sarcasm, as it's quite an art to "insult" somebody without touching a nerve, so if I do it myself I usually fear that I've offended them, and I can feel quite hostile to a sudden "character attack" if I don't happen to realise that they don't mean any harm. But I'm sure that if it's done well then it can bring people closer together. Sometimes I've felt left out of a group because I didn't know how it was done. I guess they thought that I felt too good for it.

Same.
It’s exhausting.

I am the same. Apparently I have a male sense of humour. And I love Frasier!

Have you watched Father Ted? Now that's a comedy!

BTW are you sure you aren't British? We live on sarcasm, I don't think autistic British people have much problem with it.

I have an issue not knowing if someone is serious or kidding, when it's directed TO ME. This doesn't mean 100% of the time, though, and there are times when immediately after taking it seriously, I realize they were joking.

But I can easily pick up on third-party sarcasm. I get it all the time on shows like "Frasier."

I also got one on the radio. One day I was listening to the Leland Conway show. His guest was explaining something, and in the process, was trying to do some math figuring, and was having some trouble. Leland then cuts in, "Are you a math teacher on the side?" I knew immediately it was sarcasm.

What I've never understood is why so many people erupt into laughter when watching a live-taped sitcom. Is there anyone here who can think something's hilarious yet not feel the need to laugh? It's astounding just how LITTLE it takes to get the audience laughing. Though I wonder if it's fake laughter summoned by a "LAUGH" sign that blinks on?

But even in person, when there are groups of people being told something, and the teller tries to be funny or witty, people LAUGH. I never understood this reaction over every single little witty remark. Yes, I have laughed, but not in the same context that others do. It's almost always when I reminesce about funny family times.

Oddly, I've made people laugh without trying to. Must be that natural deadpan humor that autistics have when they non-chalantly speak the truth.

It's that we often require extra effort to do it, either due to lack of socializing or just that we have different connections.

I have problems determining if people or laughing or with people including myself.