2nd attempt at diagnosis failed...

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TY.

The situation hits on my authority nerve. Just like at your former workplace, "they" get to make the rules and control the resources. I was bullied/run out of my last workplace too. Many of us need a good dose of empowerment in general and self-empowerment specifically.

My daughter and I have had some earnest conflict and some comic relief over all this. We are clear that ultimately her identity is hers. As far as the evaluator's claim that I am overdoing it, I went ahead and overdid it: pointing out to my daughter how the waffles, swing, and blue car over on the right are Autistic --- and exactly what traits I observed to support my theories. She even got into it: don't forget the notebook binder. That's a win. Pressure off. Life on.

@Isabella, I know of a parent who receives it for her son. I haven't asked for details since I don't have a DX in hand. I gather it's about $2K a year for therapies and such. Without it, we paid for my daughter's OT ourselves (at age and we happened to be on Medicaid for her social skills group (at age 10). Right now our focus is therapy for our younger son (currently age 9) for GAD. I had him evaluated for that and ADHD and ironically they pointed out all his Autistic traits (but not Autism), he's CAPD like --- Mr. Smooth (outwardly).

Wow, that would be great @Sharon.

We get sweet F all here for disabilities unless you're a disabled adult, in which case you get more than not enough to live under the poverty line, and no access to services or Covid stimulus money.


I hope you can make it work.

I pay $500 / month out of pocket to have access to therapies but the services all have price maximums which are far below the real cost. My daughter's therapist is $255 / hour and she only gets back $180 eight times a year, plus I have to pay the $500 / month.

It does vary a bit, at least in this part of the US the diagnosis has to be covered by insurance. It's somewhat unclear to me how much has to be covered in terms of treatments, but mental health in general has to be covered by insurance similar to physical health concerns. And we did expand medicaid under the ACA so at least there is coverage for much of it. Unfortunately, it can be a right pain to get access to a doctor that knows what they're doing about this stuff though.

I'll personally be a lot pushier in terms of being screened for things like SDAM that are likely impacting the diagnosis. It frustrates me a fair bit that I keep getting dinged for old diagnoses that may not have been made if I didn't have conditions that didn't officially exist at the time. Sigh.

@Isabella, I hear you on the expense. I am fortunate I have group coverage tp reduce cost although our deductibles and out-of-pocket maximums are extremely high. I tell myself it's a good thing my ASD type is useful for information systemization and I earn a good penny for that so I can afford to pay for support. I get mopey thinking that my peers earn the same (or more) and don't pay for support. Ah, well, such were the cards I was dealt.

@MatchboxVagabond, that's interesting. I had to look it up: Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory (SDAM). That is certainly true for myself and my living-in-the-moment hinders my ability to report for myself and children. It helps if I have a week to collect memories and write them down. I don't remember times I spent with people (including my best friends and family) but I do remember the essence of people (how I felt about them). My BFF whose special interest is events and dates and can recall these things (for me). I remember when I saw the movie Momento it resonated with me strongly and I wasn't sure why. So could this apply to my daughter? Maybe... She interacts like I do: active, in the moment, no looking back (can't?). Thanks for the food for thought. I'd have to find a provider who is open-minded, would listen to me and not dismiss me...

I hear you re: accommodating your child so well that she appears sub-clinical, and wanting to have a diagnosis handy for when life happens. Like your daughter, I was not visibly struggling in childhood and probably couldn't have been diagnosed even if it had occurred to someone to try. Then of course I moved out.

I had the opposite experience with diagnosis though; when I went in for assessment the clinician really squicked me out; she gave off such weird vibes that all my autistic traits scaled up to 100! The lady basically said my parents and I must be lying on the written assessment (I scored in the NT range) because I was so strongly autistic, and she questioned my ability to do things that I'd been fully capable of for years. She expressed surprise that I could even drive. She was pretty demeaning, actually. Like, because she saw me struggling, I must be incapable of keeping it together other times.

Anyway, assessments are mostly crap right now. They're all focused on how well we can mask and cope. Every time I take a quiz or test I score NT because I am empathetic, attentive to others, and a good conversationalist. Never mind my mixed-up processing style, sensory tendencies, upsidedown emotions, etc.

I hope you can find someone who will see your daughter as a whole person. Or at least get her assessed on a really bad day, instead of a good one.