What path lead you to eventually accept yourself?

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Looking for other people's experiences I guess.

For me right now I feel completely exhausted.
I used to be much more "me" when I was younger, but this relied on a lot
of aid from parents and a stable near-perfect environment.

I sadly burned out and never managed to figure out office politics.
I feel so tired, like I can't even think my own thoughts anymore. It's such a waste.
I know I am smart and valuable, but people never recognise what I am trying to say until
later, or until someone else said it, or when they have like PhDs.

I guess there's also the feelings of powerlessness from recent world events and crappy jobs... not being able to argue
my case effectively. Idk man life is tough, it's not just about accepting yourself.

I can't really exist healthily alone and I feel constantly gaslit.

But I also have a caffeine hangover so it's probably just that.

Several gradual phases.

The first stages seem this naive and delusional conditional acceptance, of denial of flaws fueled by sheer pride.

In which can take years to mellow out, to figure it out the sources of which, and into eventuality getting closer towards truer self acceptance.

And not fall into pitfalls, which is several from what I've seen who went through the same path.

If one falls into such, one had to recognize it -- which is tricky to say the least; before climbing out of it, which can be a challenge itself.

Many of which are stuck from the very first phases because it felt too good -- and leaving will be very painful to.
In which I was able to past through, alone.


The pride would allow me to see if there is something I can do to achieve certain states and consistency, fight that unwanted habits will not be true forever.

And, when that fails, usually after years of trying several solutions that did not work, I would have to give up on it.

But there's an odd reaction when one chose to give up on that; it can become paradoxical wish granting solution, or it can be a detrimental dead end.

The former feels liberating.
The latter is another pitfall to figure how to climb out of.


Really, as long as I can do something about my flaws, I won't stop fighting it until there's truly nothing I can do with it.

And then there's another layer; in which how the body and mind and emotions are separate yet are also one.
What exactly is your relationship towards your own mind? Your own body? Your own emotions?

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I wish this forum had some buttons so I could show you I care or that I wish you strength.

I'm here to mooch off of the answers you're getting because I need these tips too.

Recently I've started with an ASS coach for high educated people (which doesn't mean we're life smart, as you well know) and she's going to teach me self acceptance. I will report back when I have some knowledge.

Kind of the same thing Fnord said - Spite

The explanation the diagnoses provided helped a lot.

Also less negative feedback. Not as much there once was but there is still some people that automatically respect older people. Things get tolerated as “eccentric” that are not with younger people. Also I have a visible physical disability so I get leeway for that.

The world can be a harsh place. People sometimes judge us unfairly. They might not recognize when we are trying hard or when we meant well. Because of that, it makes sense to me at least, to be my own ally. I feel like I deserve someone in my corner.

When we are nicer to ourselves, we feel better, and will often treat others better too. In that way I consider it the most rational path.

As far as I can remember I never really rejected myself in the first place. I've had quite a bit of self-doubt and guilt feelings over the years, and still have, but not to the point of significantly ill health. I've never stopped trying to be kind to myself. I've been judged quite a bit too, but I've never recognised the court, though these days I often give their verdict a fair hearing to see if there isn't a grain of useful truth in it.

I was lucky enough to have a fairly supportive father who usually offered me a much more positive view of myself from the one my mother pushed. So even when he ran me down, I was already good at deciding the matter for myself. Shaming me was (and is) like trying to shame a cat. I wish everybody had that trait.

My path was ifteen years of going to self-help groups and various therapies that never seemed to fit, and then finding a description of AS when I was trying to figure out my mother. Suddenly, both our lives made sense.

The reason why my initial attitude is negative and denial was because I was a 10 year old in 2005; not knowing the existence of autistics with NT matching or better IQ with any real ability to be independent let alone keep up with peers -- which I did.

And I value autonomy and independence above else.
I was a very distrustful and easily disappointed angry hyperindependent child.

So when I find out about Asperger's via final label diagnosis, I clung the ideas of it.
And, whether my 14 year old internet addicted and frustrated for answers self knew, it was a conditional form of acceptance. That was my starting point.

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Changing my goals in life. Instead of being a high achiever in career who makes an impact, I now just want a straightforward and safe job that gives me enough space to enjoy my hobbies in peace. I got to this point after burn out, depression & bad experiences