Being attractive to bypass need for masking?

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A lot of you are telling me that I’ll burn myself out if I keep pretending to be NT. What if I just work on being physically attractive? Then maybe society will forgive me if I act too ND in public.

Sadly it’s true, people are more accepting of attractive people. It’s not fair, but that’s how the world works.

Also if you feel attractive, you will tend to feel more confident in yourself, and that can give a positive feedback loop of people being drawn to you even more.

I think it’s better to do things for your own interest though, rather than just trying to impress other people. For example, if you want to get fitter, it’s more motivating to do this for your own healthiness, rather than just to look good for others.

But didn't you say ND people were ugly?

Being attractive makes a big difference if you're looking for romantic companionship. Some people will decide to hook up with another person on first sight, simply because they like how that person looks. They may not be that concerned about social skills etc. Which if you're autistic, might not be such a bad thing. You can have a romantic partner and avoid loneliness, but not otherwise have to deal with "friends" if you don't have the emotional energy for that.

I figured, if things don't work out with my girlfriend, if I'm attractive enough, I can get another one easily.

I think focusing on being attractive in a broader sense than just physically, but charming, intelligent, kind hearted and funny, is definitely a strategy that works for an autistic male if you got what it takes to pull it off. Women tend to be rather forgiving about slightly odd behaviour and minor exhibitions of social clumsiness as long as they find you attractive and overall a well meaning good guy. In my experience making - and maintaining - friends takes a lot more social skills and masking than getting women romanticly interested.

You can do anything if you're attractive and NT.

Bypassing the need for masking requires more than just being attractive and charisma.

Indeed it needs a degree of less inhibition (it is more or less the point) but one shouldn't be so foolish while at it.


It's way more complex than just looks and pretty privilege that shifts lame, awkward and obnoxious to shy, cute and quirky.

Not even being rich with a high power job on top of it.
Not even being saved by connections and rep.


And it might not be possible done alone or as an individual.

One needs the right time, the right place...
It's not even as simple as knowing and blending (may defeat the purpose) with the culture and their people.

It had to be way deeper than that, done even before one steps foot on their targeted audience if possible.


Also yes, it's possible.

If fact, that's how I basically live; in a limbo of sorts that is not infantilizing also do not doubt the fact that I need support.
That I'm independent yet also not an NT that it can scare anyone ignorant enough to assume 'what' I am.



Lastly, bypassing the need for masking requires more than just courage and needing leniency; that's for kids.
If you are developmentally delayed badly enough, yeah go on and don't be scared.

For adults?
One needs something way, waaay deeper than that.
Or way even more shallow yet happened to gone right and it's on them yet no deception is involved but luck sure did.

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There's no point in reasoning with op, he is a miserable human being who refuses to accept being autistic and thinks deliberately causing a car accident because someone supposedly tail-gated him is something to be proud of.

That is psychopathy, and it makes me fearful that he might actually kill people. And the last thing we need is yet another horror story about an autistic person being violent and dangerous that the media will spread like a disease.

I think being well groomed smart and clean is a step in the right direction for anyone

You don't need to be attractive or rich, nor will that get you what you want. It's completely the wrong thing to focus on.

Focus on being kind and decent. From what you've been writing on this forum, you have a lot of work to do.