Forgiving People Who Picked On You As A Child

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i supose i already have, otherwise i would have done something in retaliation to them

DITTO and I think wanting karma to happen to other people is just petty and vindictive and makes your face scrunch up. Growing up with my mother, I intentionally avoided getting too vindictive because I noticed that when people have schadenfreude, their face clenches up and even if they are considered pretty by the vast majority of NTs, when I see that cramping in the face, I don't ever think that is pretty.

I forgive all the kids from my old school. I realized I was bad too as they were. I picked on kids too and did bullying because I thought it was normal and I was supposed to do that and I did it to fit in and I thought everyone would like me and I would get more friends because they saw I am just as good as them. But it never worked. I was still an outcast and still got picked on. I have done stuff and blame it on my friends but guesswhat, they were mean to me too and the ones at my school told me to go away and wouldn't do anything when one of them would tell me to go away and they would go with the flow and not stand up for me or defend me. I realized perhaps they didn't want to get shunned by their friend or put down or teased or get the same treatment as her so they stayed quiet, also peer pressure. And kids could have teased me and bullied me because they were trying to fit in too and trying to be like everyone else and also wanted to be liked so that could be why they picked on me. Kids copy each other and tend to pick up on bad behavior and do it. Everyone wants to fit in and be like everyone else. So I forgive them. I realize me and them are both even. We both did our things. The teasing and the bullying and tghe meaness. So I call it even.

This is something I'm still trying to come to terms with - both adult and childhood.

Every time I've been hurt (from history to recent) I've gotten more untrusting, more defensive, more guarded.... it's a dangerous pathway and now I recognize the foolishness of it! It's greatly effecting every aspect of my life, including my marriage and every current job I have.

I have to forgive these people... the old hurts and the new. HAVE TO! For my own sake... for my own sanity.... and to finally start healing the scars they've left.

The thing I don't know is HOW! How do you just... forgive someone who was evil in the past and is still evil now? How do you (NT cliche:) "just let go"?

One thing sure worries me... and that's that I've read many times, that sometimes the only way to heal the pain, is to dredge it up and practically re-experience it! (Maybe that's just an NT thing.... maybe not.)


I know it's time... I know it must be done before I become a worse person!

As a Christian, forgiveness is the cornerstone of my faith, but also as a human being forgiveness gives me my humanity back, it takes me out of the prison that the pain forced me into. To forgive does not mean forgetting, it means letting go of the hurt that previously held us captive.
hOW............ well.........I needed to find people I could trust to help me help myself find my own unique answers, and in so doing, owning and respecting my anger and being held as the river of tears flooded through me. Prayer helped me, for people of no faith, perhaps WP is a higher power of a sorts to facilitate in this process.
Much peace
Chris

When u talk about karma, i think of this one example of this kid that picked on me every day for the entire grade 6, some of grade 5 and a bit of grade 7. him and his moronic friends.

anyhow, I was reminded of him by my mother last year and she told me that he was in trouble with
the law which could mean that he is someones prison b***h. I was also told that all these other peoples that pick on me during school are now just unemployed losers who no one wants anything to do with.
It means that in my case i ended up better then them. I have employment and they don't HA!

At the risk of evoking horrid cliche, if you can't forgive, forget. If I remain angry at those that harassed me I remain a victim, and it only hurts me. They're probably not thinking about you at all. Why give them the honor of your precious brain cycles?

(Easier said then done, I know from experience)

I don't think I can ever forgive the people who bullied me in school. They just hurt me too much. Because of them I began to avoid even thinking about school, including homework and stuff like that. They nearly brought me to tears every single day for 3 years. I'm trying to forget them, but forgiving them... it's never going to happen.

Not sure about forgiveness. In fact, I feel rather vengeful about some of them. But I will say some of what they said has made me try to not be what they claim I will be/am.

Forgiveness is a nonissue with me because my particular brand of aspieness is that I can't convey to NT's HOW I don't care. I think "I don't care" is offensive to NTs and I know my mother does not like it when she can't get under my skin. Anyway, as I am lucky enough to have no residue on me, I do not however forget because an abuser might try some fresh hell on me as my family is wont to do and remembering details that tie together to illuminate their hypocrisy HELPS to put the abuse, the undermining, the misdirection and the character assassination in perspective.

If all of my school day tormentors were standing in one line, I'd go up to each of them, and give them a piece of my mind. I would tell them that what they did was evil, and that it felt like I was getting punched in the stomach, when they were doing it. I'd also line up all the people who presumed and treated me like I was ret*d and sat the same things to them. I would also tell them that I have AS, and that I'm above average in intelligence. I would also give them each an Internet print-out on AS and tell them that if they don't read it, that I'd threaten to throw them into the middle of an Autism Pre-School. I'd also tell them that I hope that their children end up on the spectrum, so that they'd feel guilty about what they've each done to me, every time that they'd look at their children's faces.

If any of my tormentors were to start crying, out of guilt, only than would I tell them that I forgive them.

I didn't do a damn thing to deserve to be made fun of, and I will never forgive any of them. You know, even the mentally ret*d kids were making fun of me. Forget all of them. Yes, I insulted people, but I was only fighting back. Nobody deserves to be made fun of...Nobody brings it upon themselves.

The only reason I would want to tell anyone from my past about my autism is to say see, you were right. Oops. (heehee)