When did you realize people don't like you?

Post Reply New Topic

1 st grade was suspicious of this , by second grade was pretty sure . Never got picked for any group kickball avtivities by either team. Then finding on the recess feild area in the entire elementary school years all of them. Only 2 people on two seperate occassions ever talked to me. Still was slow to pick up on this ,because time at school was much better than what was happening at home. Not until my twenties started to figure out to even try to mask . Started practicing smiling in the mirror ...took another twenty years to get acceptable @ masking . And much personal work.
As long as am not forced into new interactions with strangers for extended periods of time. Can mask acceptably

When I was a kid.

Nobody wanted to play with me when I didn't bring out my toys, so they could. Then later in school, they've made friends of groups, but I was not included in any of those. I have tried, but without success. I was laughed at, cause of my behavior and appearance.

Later in high school I have made a friend, but it was just because we were both nerds and outsiders, but she was still more outgoing like I was.

I thought it was better in adulthood, till I have found out my colleagues speak about me behind my back, and not nice things.

After this revelation, I told myself, It's not my fault they don't like. And if you don't like, it's your problem, not mine. I will not change myself for someone.

The thing that I find interesting is that I don't think even ASD people like each other. However, I do prefer direct people

Ye, this is real nasty part is you'd think asd gang together but don't. Even just relating or talking can be difficult.
I noticed I masked less as teen, everything I said and did was unpopular, then when tried fitting in and saying less I just didn't do small talk and click what everyone was doing. At first I'd get invited, but after a while I got out, they not talking to me, they moving away. Same with my son, at first invited but don't fit in.

It could have been when I started getting made fun of growing up by classmates. When you realize someone sees you as different and tries to make unnecessary comments that make you know they see you that way… when they make jokes at your expense and laugh at you. And you feel hurt inside and start feeling self conscious and feel you have to do or be someone different.

I can’t say that there was a specific time, but it was more of a gradual realization that I somehow repulsed people for no apparent reason. I was somewhere in my 30s when I began to notice that people treated me differently and seemed uncomfortable in my presence, even though I felt I was being polite and respectful. This was WAY before I had any idea that I could have Asperger’s, so I was baffled for years as to what was wrong with me! Now I know that I am not very good at masking, and the NTs I meet must sense that something is not genuine about me. The few people who I trust and can tentatively call friends seem to be somewhat ND themselves, or are familiar with people’s quirks so they don’t care. Plus, since I can be open with them, they see mostly, at least, the unmasked me and seem to accept that.

When I was in primary school I chose to play on my own a lot of the time. I did have friends who liked me though. It wasn’t until year 5 (aged 9) a new girl came to my school and started bullying me, she’d lie to the teacher and say I did/said things to her I didn’t and the teacher believed her. When I got to high school things went downhill pretty quickly and a lot of people bullied me. Teenagers can be awful.

I was bullied somewhat in high school, also. I mostly experienced verbal bullying, but occasionally things got physical.

My worst years for being bullied were 5th through 8th grades and Freshmen and Sophomore years of college.

This type of behaviour towards myself went on all the way till my late 50s. and got worse .! but Every now and then, it maybe alittle Hard to tell ,but am still alive and well .

I had such a hard time with abusive family members that I hardly noticed what was going on anywhere else.
Eventually I perceived that I was treated...strangely by others. I would try to lead, and nobody would follow. I would try to discuss some neat thing I read about, and people just stared at me. Part of it was my clothes (hand-me downs) and my voice (Robotic British accent in the inner city!) but there was something else going on. I simply did not...gel? Vibe? Click? I was on a tiny island, alone. Even today, I am friendly to all I meet but have no real friends. I'm an Outsider.

if , I got into details would seriously need to include a trigger warning...if went into detail of how over the periods of my life from crib time to early 50's regarding a murder that directly was result of persons wishing to cause me extreme greif, with attempts to seemingly push me over the edge in later years . Around the post homicide facts ,regarding a dishonest , prosecuetor / sheriff dept.and his supporters.. Whom I never knew on any actual basis until the circumstances around this unfolded . Did you know that judges and prosecuetors enjoy freedom from prosecuetion, if they are bad / criminal in their behavious in court ? Guess maybe not liked afterall ..?

Since intermediate school.

I don't view things that way. It's always more important if I liked somebody. What they think of me is not my problem. When I was engaged I did wonder if maybe the in-laws didn't like me. But I didn't think about it much. I was getting married and they had to love and accept me.

It's probably an aspie advantage to not overthink about personal or social relationships. It saves a lot of time and emotions.