coping with change

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What kind of changes have you had to cope with?

How well or badly did you cope?

What helped you cope better?

What kind of changes happened a long time ago, that you still can't cope with?

For something that will be recurring I try to incorporate it with my other routines.

And when stuck with something new that is unavoidable, I find it best to not waste energy trying to avoid it. Just go with it.

Moving out was a change. The demise of the original Routemaster was another one. The big change in the January of 2016 when i decided to be myself. I tried going without my favourite hat for 4 months.

I coped pretty well with moving out. The demise of the original Routemaster was a fiasco.

The big change was difficult because of my mum's attitude towards Germany and Germans.

Let's just say that I'm wearing that cloth "helmet" again.

The demise of the AEC Routemaster still misses with my mind.

I just lost my job so that's something I m coping with right now. The biggest challenge will be trying to save money while on the disability pension.

The last big change was when our house contents had to be moved so the new floor could be laid. We rent so we couldn't say no to it. I hope never to go through it again.

I'm coping with constant change. Nothing is stable. Nothing is reliable. I cope by basically by not developing interest or getting excited about anything that attracts my attention. In fact, I rarely spark my own interest. I let others tell me what I should be interested in because I've loss my sense of being able to be me, so stopped having that drive. It's pretty much gone. Anything I start now is because it was suggested to me by someone. Then, if I start something and catch myself getting excited, I terminate it. It's not really a decision though. It's a feeling. It's like I notice that this is too good, so it for sure it will eerily get ruined or taken away somehow. I even created a little log to make sure I wasn't crazy and making it up. I'm near 100% failure. So, I brace for impact by always being ready to leave. That's the only sense of control I can have. It's the last little bit of me. Beyond that, I'm just letting time go by like a chore.

My coping strategy: Don't believe. Don't trust. Don't expect. Don't develop. Don't create. Don't plan. Wait and be ready to go. That's it.