Omgosh you know what my mother just said.....

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Everyone is born selfish.

Part of 'growing up' is learning to give consideration to others; and it doesn't happen over night.

When someone calls you selfish, they are doing two things.

First, making you aware that your actions were inconsiderate.

Two, expressing their disappointment and frustration.

Mind you, this is all very subjective. Without cooperation, things like education and the internet would not exist.

As long as you don't care that someone perceives you as selfish,
you won't be considerate of them.

I think using the term 'self-centered' is a bit like a politician putting a negative spin on
the situation to have a detrimental effect !
I'd say that Autism equates to being so confused at times by the world and other people that we're inclined to be more introspective in order to try and make some sense of it all.

It's a Jersey Shore Chicka thing! LOL! I one!

No, you were just dumping on her when she had her mind on something else. Selfish and self absorbed/centered/autocentric are different. She was probablly giving off subtle clues you weren't reading that she had other things on her mind.

Note: Do not bad mouth your significant other, people hold it against him/her when you make up. Tell him what you tell your mom. Confront him and reslove it...

Usually when my mother calls me selfish it's because I won't drop whatever I'm doing at the moment (especially if I'm onto something intently) and do what she wants me to do. She's a very impatient person who demands everything in the house to be done on her time table. I have no problem doing what I'm asked to do, but if I'm in the middle of something can't it wait, especially if it's something like taking out the trash? It's not going to walk away while I'm finishing that chapter/RPG post/episode/painting.

I think that it's the NT women who are the selfish b*****s.

Also self-observant.

Self-aware and self-observant we are. Not self-centred. Hell, I'd like to just be centred for a change. Sounds like fun.

Translations for Chicas,

What it means is, she wants the relationship to work out. You want something, I doubt you could define what, she wants grandchildren.

Tradition does not go away, girls are suposed to become domesticated wives.

All of this modern change is confusing. This Post Fruedian Self.

The world is filled with people who are older, larger, and meaner than you. Men learned long ago that fighting to the death over everything, lead to a lot of death.

Women have recently gotten the idea that they are equal to anyone, including King Kong.

In the good old days, 18th Century, you would have been called Head Strong and Willful.

Head Strong refers to a horse that fights the reins, the solution is a barbed bit.

Willful is worse, having a will of your own is the worst crime. The King has a will, the church, your school, parents, husband, all for you to obey. Your will belongs in the realm of putting on the right or left sock first.

It is also fought in men, the army does it by taking rightfooted men, most, and making then begin marching with their left.

Self centered as opposed to docile. Domestic, domesticated, tame, obediant, subservient, servile, niether the words or expections have gone away. You are free, but only to chose your Master.

Your mother is the old mare who has pulled the wagon for many years, you the frisky filly that does not look ahead.

She is trying to guide you to a larger and longer view of life.

Bluntly Chica, you are a Hottie! Natures way of keeping the species going. In ten or twenty years you will be something else.

Youth is short, and wasted on the young. Your current self only lasts a few years, education is limited. Home, a man who will stick with you forever, children, not being alone when you are old, are all more important to being human and living a full life.

Relationships are about shared values. You should know what your man thinks and why, look at the track record of his family.

Know if you are playing with dolls, or playing for keeps.

I side with Mom. Happy for today, or happy for life?

I think your mother may have a decent point. Since Aspies have it much harder than NTs in many respects, we need to be self-centered in order to survive.

Interesting you use this example. My bf's mom was telling me about some lecture she and her husband attended about why minor things affect some people greatly, and serious thing hardly affect others (can't remember the name of the lecturer but he has a book on the subject). The example she gave was a man writing a book, almost finished, when his wife asked him to take out the trash because it was his turn, The man exploded, angry about the fact that she'd interrupt him for that when what he was workingon was important. Then I guess the lecturer talked about why that affected him, when it would have taken up less than ten minutes of his time, so much and how he should have reacted.'

What I was thinking when she was relating this story is, "Why didn't she jsut take the trash out? She knew he was busy."

It's a two way street. She didn't realize that he was very engrossed. He didn't realize that she was unaware that he was approaching a significant milestone.

I can just imagine that she's been giving him trouble for working on that 'stupid' book instead of helping out more.

Well I'll let you know if that was the case in a couple weeks - they brought the book for us this past weekend, so when I ahve the time to read it I'll tell you the situation