Auditory Processing Humor

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Most of the time having an auditory processing disorder is a huge pain in the butt. But sometimes it cracks me up. I find misheard things have at tendency to be hilarious (amiright.com always has me laughing to tears) so I am often amused by how I hear things throughout the day. For example, today I heard "four wheel drive club" as "formal drag club". Other favorites include hearing "orange barrels" as "Amish bear-holes" and "laundry detergent" as "raunchy churches" I remember hearing something as "Death rides a yellow airplane" but I don't remember what the original phrase was

What about you? If you have auditory processing problems, do you find it funny when you mishear things? If you do, what are some of your favorite funny mishearings?

This is a constant occurance for me. I'm in the habit of pointing out my mishearings to others; it got to the point where my dad yelled at me for always saying "I thought you said..."

I do that too. I never understand why other people don't find it as amusing as I do

hehe one time my parents and one of my great-aunts were talking about a house that some of my cousins are fixing up. They said the house had fir flooring. For some reason my brain decided this was "fur" flooring and I was like, "Wouldn't that be hard to clean?"

when I told them my brain thought they meant f-u-r not f-i-r (wood), we all had a good laugh.

Because of CAPD, I usually find it difficult to discern the lyrics to songs, as the accompanying instrumentals often interfere with some of the vocal sounds. As a result, I often hear something similar but noticeably different from what is being sung - sort of a natural song parody.

In 1972, the Robert John cover of the Tokens' "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" was popular, and got major radio air play. For years, I thought the "Wimoweh" bit was actually "My weenie's wet". Also, being 8 years old and beyond naïve, I thought nothing of telling everybody that these were the correct words.

When I tell people today, they never hear the song the same way again...

G'day forum folks,

All four people in our family have CAPD. Despite being so frustrating it would and does make you scream particularly when poor little kids are trying to learn to read. It has it's funny side too.

One day I was sitting on the floor telling my 2 boys about The Muppet Show as my husband sat near by reading a paper. I said that it used to be on every Saturday night and how much I used to love it when I was about their age. That I would hear the music and come running no matter where I was or what I was doing. Even if I was in the bath I was out an infront of the TV in a split second. We talked about it for a while then my oldest asked which was my favorite character. I told them about Missy Piggy and how she would haul off and whack KERMITT screaming HIIIII YAAAAAA, every time he did something that did not suit her. I told them it would make me laugh so much I couldn't stand up, even though I knew what was going to happen. Also for a couple of days after I would do it to one of my four brothers every time I got the chance, also making me laugh.

My youngest son, listening but not getting the full picture, then said 'Why was the pig one so mean to DERMOTT? (he has a friend named that) I giggled at this then said "NO Kermitt was the one getting hit all the time". He was looking at me perplexed as to what I was giggling at. Then before anyone could say any more his over critical older, brother chimed in giggling saying " The frogs name was "THERMOTT" do you need Poppies hearing aid or something" I couldn't help it I had a good laugh at the irony this time. Before I finished laughing and was able to tell my oldest that it was mean to say what he said to his brother, and also to explain to my older son what I found so funny. My husband hearing me laugh and never one to miss out on a joke. Poked his head up from the paper and said "whats so funny" Still laughing I could only get the word "KERMITT" out. To my absolute delite my husband said "Oh Yeah HERMITT he was cool but I liked Animal better" Of course I could not contain myself any further and fell about laughing holding my stomach with my kids jumping on top of me thinking it must be time for their favorite passtime, rough housing.

It took me ages to be able to tell my husband what had made me laugh so much, with a straight face and he was suitably unimpressed by my story....... which of course made me laugh even more.

The memory of this always makes me laugh but I could only tell this on a topic about CAPD because I don't think anyone that knew nothing abut CAPD would appreciate it.

Cheers

Truly funny stories. This also happens to me a lot but at the moment I can't think of any examples. Enjoy reading everyone else's though.

Sometimes I miss-read things, and that is also funny. I have been doing that a lot lately. Just now in Shebakoby's post I read "horse" instead of "house" and wondered how one would go about fixing up a horse.

I'm sure I will hear something wrong at least once today, and when I do I'll share it.

It’s not about me but these are the examples of other people who misinterpreted what they heard I know about. For instance, once I read on one forum (not having anything to do with the ASD) that one woman misheard “friends need to be trusted” and as a result what she heard or at least what she was sure that she heard was “I was shagged by UFO” (in our languages those sentences sound pretty similar). My high school friend once thought that I told her I had “blind faces” while what I meant was a “crooked back” (I have scoliosis). My English teacher in high school happened to mishear once something as “to scream sweetly” but I can’t remember what it was about.

In the song "Issues" by The Saturdays, I thought it said, "Don't know if I should stab you or kiss you," but then someone in a magazine said that they thought the same thing and found out it's actually "slap you or kiss you".

Once, someone in the library at school said that he wants to liberate the North Koreans' souls, and my friend misheard and said to him, "You want to have sex with North Korean souls?!" and we nearly died laughing. The worst part was where someone overheard what she said, and turned round and said to the boy, "Ew, Edward, you pervert..." and before long half the library had some twisted version of the original sentence.

(Edit: misplaced apostrophe. Yeah, I'm pedantic like that.)

Last edited by gina-ghettoprincess on 14 Sep 2009, 1:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Eclectic whoresmen and other Range tails topic

One song I heard was supposed to contain the words: "I'm gone...Headlights..."

What I heard was "I got head lice." Oh, dear.

So what's the difference between CAPD and just mishearing / misunderstanding phrases? I misunderstand phrases all of the time, but usually it sinks in with a repetition or two.

Edit: By the way, a misheard lyric is called a mondegreen, so named after the song "The Bonny Earl o' Murray":

The last line is often heard as "And Lady Mondegreen."

I think it has to do with the frequency, since everyone mishears things every once in a while. I have CAPD, and I mishear things VERY often, and sometimes speech becomes garbled up nonsense that isn't words at all, and it has to be repeated several times before my brain is finally able to process it. If there is anyone else talking or background noise, I usually can't understand speech at all.

I have a ton of trouble understanding lyrics, and usually have to look them up (which made it particularly frustrating in Spanish class when we had to decipher *Spanish* lyrics- my teacher didn't believe me that even English lyrics were hard for me). Even when the song lyrics are fairly clear however, as in the Red Dwarf theme song, I sometimes hear things wrong. Part of the Red Dwarf theme goes,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZFLKXIN ... re=related

"It’s cold outside, there’s no kind of atmosphere,
I’m all alone, more or less.
Let me fly, far away from here,
Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun."

However, I heard "more or less" as "you're all dead," which is funny, because everyone on the main character's ship actually is dead (if this doesn't sound funny, trust me that it is a humorous show), and the ship's computer actually spends several minutes in the first episode explaining this to the character. The real lyrics are not nearly as entertaining.

Also, for like 15 years, my brother and I thought the name of the character in this kids' TV show was "Kizaz," when actually it was "Pizazz." We didn't actually find this out until I was talking with a friend in college who was a fan of the show as a child.

Life is much more interesting the way I hear it...

Another post from me on the subject...

Today a friend of mine said something about empty bags, but my brain registered it as something about someone named "M.T. Baggs". I had a good laugh.

I thought the line was "they're all dead".
I guess I was wrong on that one too.

I find talking on the phone with most people to be extremely aggravating. I probably understand about half of the things they say and just uh huh the rest of them. Which often leads to weird pauses and me having to have them repeat the last 3-4 sentences cause I get so lost. I still mishear tons of things from the brother who I talk to probably 10 times more than everyone else combined. Most of them end up really wrong and quite hillarious.