Why don't NTs ever give concrete expectations?

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Why do they expect you to do things their way without telling you directly what they want? Why is it that the only time they give you concrete expectations is the point at which they are almost over the edge? It seems as if they expect you to read their minds and know the proper way of doing things without being told. They seem to think you are incapable of doing something if you learn best by direct means. If the expectations are concrete, I know what do to and what is expected of me.

They do in a Chemistry Lab.

There are very clear instructions and safety procedures written on the door.

There's a set way to handle equipment.

Ambiguity in this situation is a safety hazard, that's why everything is explained or written down to the letter.

Everything is ritualised and expressed in literal, concrete form to ensure that the place doesn't get blown up and no equipment is damaged.

Chemistry is the study of how stuff reacts with other stuff, and how much stuff is left at the end.

Nothing is more literal or concrete than that.

Because what people have is telepathic communication. They can send signals to each other brains and they pick up the signal so they read the person's mind. With us, ours doesn't work so we fail to pick up on that signal so therefore we fail to read their minds.

Last edited by Spokane_Girl on 14 Nov 2009, 2:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes, talking to an average NT is like walking through a mine field and you know you'll bound to make a wrong move sooner or later because not even they usually know what they want or even more importantly what they want to hear from you, yet you're expected to know it for them.

Last edited by Booyakasha on 14 Nov 2009, 12:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Insecurity?
1. If you never really give concrete expectations, then you can't get what you asked for but not gotten what you wanted.
2. If no one really knows what I want done or how well it needs to be done then I'm irreplaceable and indispensable.
3. It is so much easier to play the blame-game.

It's really a destructive management or parenting style and it's blossoming at where I work, our productive, cohesive goal orientated team is rapidly degenerating into a defensive rabble just doing enough to get by. Not only don't we get concrete expectations, nobody is even sure when a decision has been made or not.

Exactly! This is my point. When NTs give instructions there could be multiple meanings behind there instructions. The problem is greater than you all even think. There could be many different ways to apply these meanings.

Let's say we have 5 meanings each with 1000 different ways to apply each of these meanings. We have 5000 different combinations in which we interpret what they say. It can worsen.

What if these applications to these meanings are infinite? In effect, we would have 5 X Infinity.

How are we supposed to go through all of this information to arrive at the correct data set? How do NTs go through it so fast?

Beg to differ about the chemistry lab, actually. Even then, they're irritatingly vague. When I was learning how to do immunohistochemistry (staining slides by attaching things you can see to antibodies that attach to what you want to detect), I didn't get very detailed instructions from the lab supervisor--I had to ask direct questions and have her answer them, repeatedly, and then make my own set of instructions over and above the protocol I had already been issued. Even toxicolologist NTs (which is kinda chemistry but also definitely biology) are vague about instructions, and you have to get them to tell you enough to actually use. And that's despite that they tend to be geekier and pickier than your average NT.

I'm studying medicine in Hungary in English. Our physiology labs are tragic. We were sitting there being taught theory on blood flow regulation by Dracula. Barely anything was given in writing. Even the NT's couldn't understand much of it.

Last edited by Wikan on 14 Nov 2009, 1:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

And when you do make the "wrong move" they say "Maybe you aren't fit for such and such" or tell you you have no common sense. Perhaps if they had explained it all along, maybe I would do what was necessary. This is why I need to know a person well before knowing what they want. I need enough time to establish a pattern in behavior in order to know what they want. With other people, it's all intuition and that's why it's so frustrating. People seem to think that if you need concrete instructions, you can't possibly learn. Perhaps one of the reasons we can't read their minds is because we are wired in a completely different way. What we see as important aren't important to others. It is like a minefield to us because we're going in blindsighted while others can see the markers right away.

I think it's because they like having choices. Everywhere you look, things are advertised as being "your choice" or "whatever you want" or "way." I guess they just don't get that overwhelmed feeling when presented with a bunch of choices.. they see choices a freedom, rather than a burden. Perhaps also because they have a better understanding of what is expected, so there's not that terror of not knowing what to do, because they do know what to do.

Sounds like an "Amelia Bedilia" problem. : )

Seriously though, it's because we don't quite get that we have to spell out every last thing in excruciating detail or you won't get it. We don't want to insult your intellgence by talking to you like you were a 3rd grader. We just take some things as basic, common knowledge. Once an NT "gets" the way that your mind works they can and usually will be more specific when giving instructions.

But back to your original question, it's because we don't want to treat you like a child.

Now I more better understand why some don't make everything clear. My problem is, if things aren't specified, I don't do them. I go by the literal commands and don't get the unsaid. That's why I can go from awful to skyrocketing in a certain task after a simple explanation is offered. The problem with this is, NTs don't get it and think that if you don't get one thing, you must not get others and it's frustrating.

That's why you ask questions and ask for more instructions and tell them you need every step. I do that when I don't understand. I had a problem with my office clerk when I worked swing shift. When I ask for more instructions he say "What did I just tell you?' "How long have you been working here?" "You should know this." It made me feel awful. I didn't know what to say to him and I just didn't want to bother to clarify anymore to make sure I understood or ask for more instructions, etc. I could have shouted out my condition but I didn't. But however, if I know my job well and, I don't need every step if I have done it before. I go "NT" there

I think the OP was referring to social situations.

Ugh, I need very thorough and precise instructions and directions, otherwise I get hopelessly confused. Context goes right over my head.

it might explain why I got panic attacks while doing my final job in NJ, and also might explain why I'm so friggin' thorough everywhere else.

So that's why my bosses worship the ground I walk on