When falsely accused...

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Do you feel compelled to PROVE yourself innocent?
When someone is spouting off completely incorrect information, do you feel you have to gather the correct information, and present it to that person?

I always have to be able support my views, prove others wrong if they are wrong, and prove myself innocent if I am innocent.

For example, back when I lived with my mom, and I was cleaning my room, she would stop by periodically just to say, "You didn't do anything! You're just sitting around and doing nothing. This room doesn't look any cleaner."

So once I got a digital camera, I started to take pictures on the progress of cleaning my room, so that when she would come in and accuse me of doing nothing, I would show her the "Before/After" pictures, and prove her wrong.
After a while of me taking pictures while I cleaned my room, she stopped making remarks and just left me alone. She couldn't accuse me anymore, because the proof was right in her face.

Yes, because I want an apology. Once, I had a check bounce and some way or other overlooked it. Being scatterbrained sometimes I also completely forgot about the letters I got. Until I got one from the check unit at the PD. So I called, and told him I would mail a money order right in. Which I did. I told him he should get it the next day. He didn't and he insisted that I come in. I came in and told him I mailed it. He asked where the recept for the money order was and I said at home somewhere, no I didn't think to bring it. Well he was an a**hole to me. Threatened me and such. I told him the money order would be there the next day at the latest and to notice the date on it. He said he would put out a warrant for me if it wasn't. I told him if it was would he apologize? He said yes. I called the next day and he said it was there. I asked for my apology and he said I wasn't getting one. So I called him a p****.

PaganMom

Yes! I am definitely like this! If i am wrong, i take it, but if i know i am right, i will prove them wrong. If i am accused of something, i get very defensive if i know it wasn't me and will prove them wrong and be bitter for a long time. My bf accuses me playfully, or he think so anyway, and i get all defensive and he gets mad at me saying i can't take a joke. Well, i am missing where he is joking with me, so it turns into an arguement.

I think I gave up on the whole concept. It doesn't matter if I'm right or wrong, in most cases, I'm just not able to express myself clearly enough to prove it. If somebody wants to prove that I'm bad, they'll find a way. Usually just the fact that I'm nervous or fidgety is "proof" of my "guilt." How do I disprove that?

Yeah, I've had that, a few times & the 'denial' claim! No way to 'prove' most of the things of which I'm accused, nor disprove them, either, especially with so many ways to claim 'proof'. If only it were things I could take photos of or something! Anybody any ideas?

Another example:

My Father-In-Law is accusing me of not turning off the fishtank light at night so that the fish can go to "sleep". He claims that I have failed to do this at least six times over the past two weeks.
Starting last night, I am recording videos of myself turning off the fishtank light light at night. I am also recording the time and date from iGoogle, and then posting those videos on YouTube.

Like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=satmS9wKZSM

The next time he accuses me of not turning off the fishtank light, I will show him the videos to prove him wrong.

I will not take crap like this.

Yeah, that's me, that's like a page out of my life, right there. I am not able to verbally defend myself well enough and the hesitancy in my speech makes me look like weak. When actually, the best liars in the world are the smooth talkers and the manipulators like the ones I work with, not me with my flubbed up speech.

Hmm, it sucks when people accuse you of the unprovable.

Does anyone else sometimes imagine living in a house with cameras in every room so that the footage can be looked over if there is a dispute or conflict of some sort, to prove something that was said or not said, done or not done, etc?

Not that I would actually do that, but sometimes I think it's a pretty cool idea, especially for someone who is always trying to "prove" stuff.

Cameras wouldn't prove most of what I'm talking about, either way!

I hate having to prove people wrong It annoys me literally.... Like when there was this incident when me and my (so called) mate had a little conflict, people automatically accuses my girlfriend that she was sturring this up and when she wasn't involved, it took a whole 30 minutes to prove that she wasn't involed and i was also having a meltdown

Camera's do prove things but if you was very good with photoshop, you could lie about it slightly....
I'm terrible at proving people, i did try using camera but it looked like acting

My voice breaks and than I break down and cry.

Yeah it's important to me too.
That camera room cleaning thing is awesome by the way.

I tend to shutdown or go mute when confronted with accusations like that (but have gotten better as I've gotten older). I realized once that sometimes when they do that people aren't even looking for actual proof -- they just want an emotional, outraged response. The anger/'passion'/emotion apparently is what 'proves' you're telling the truth. Not in every situation, of course. Not being to generate that kind of reaction, I've found a sort of mean silent stare (and a few words, if possible) can sometimes do the trick.

Not able to generate either sort of response suggested!

Well, at the time my choice was walking 10 blocks at dusk through the worst part of Oakland (#1 murder capital in the USA at the time), dressed like a middle-class college student, while carrying a bike with a flat tire. Verses giving the train station guy the look so he'd let me use the train. I was also extremely pissed that he was calling me a liar.

I know how that goes.

Years ago, I was in the Air Force. One day, at work, the supervisor two steps above me on the chain of command called me into the break room for a little "chat". He told me that he had heard about "last night in the dorms." Apparently someone, or someones had told him that I had been causing trouble and making a scene, or some weird thing. I never did understand what he was talking about, or what, specifically, I was being accused of. He would just shake his head and say, "well, I shouldn't have to say it", as if it was too shameful for him to utter aloud. He wouldn't tell me who had complained, either. I tried to tell him that I had no idea what he was talking about, which was the truth, but being accused made me feel so nervous and upset, I could hardly talk. All I had done is sit in the dayroom and watch a little TV, listened to some records in my room (which I never did loudly, since I hate loud music), and then gone to bed. Just another dull evening. Our "chat" ended with him just looking at me sternly and saying, "I'd better not hear anymore about this kind of stuff, because I won't tolerate it." But he wouldn't even say specifically what it was he thought I had done! Decades later, I still wonder. Who pointed the finger at me? Why? What was I supposed to have done? From then on, every time I walked past someone in the dorm, I wondered if it had been them who tried to get me in trouble, but as far as I was aware, no one actually hated me. I didn't have friends, but I didn't have enemies either.


A similar thing happened at a job a few years later. I won't bother telling about it, because I think I wrote it once before, and it's more of the same. Another accusation that left me feeling hurt and confused.