Do you people ever get mad at you when you try and socialize

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03 Jan 2010, 3:50 am

When you try and carry on a conversation or try and talk, people get mad at you or defensive, did they ever get mad at you or not appreciate you?

I was talking to a friend and she said "Do I need to tell you every single detail about my life?"
Well so much for trying to talk so I decided to just sit back and not say much and she can say whenever she wants to me and ask me anything about myself.



Tim_Tex
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03 Jan 2010, 3:51 am

I've had that happen.


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monsterland
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03 Jan 2010, 4:23 am

This used to happen to me because I was following "conversation protocol".

I thought "during conversation I shouldn't just talk about myself, but should show interest in another person, therefore I will go over these topics to balance it"... it was a rigid, mechanical approach, but also a learning experience.



Asp-Z
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03 Jan 2010, 5:56 am

It's apparently not enough to just have a conversation, but you have to have a conversation in the exact way NTs expect you to, or you're "rude", "embarassing", or whatever other crap people feel like throwing at you.

That's one of the main reasons why I operate a system of only socialising when I need to, so unless it's one of my few friends, a member or family, a teacher, etc, I won't talk to anyone unless they talk to me first, then if they don't like the way I socialise it's their own damn fault for talking to me :P



mysassyself
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03 Jan 2010, 6:27 am

I can't remember that happening exactly.

Usually people looked taken aback or shocked when I try and socialise. It seems to interrupt their 'flow' - whatever the hell that is.


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CockneyRebel
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03 Jan 2010, 7:41 am

I've had that happen to me, while staying on the topic that a bunch of girls were. They just said, "Oh yeah, okay...whatever!" like a bunch of spolt Valley Girls. That turned me off to the mainstream population, right than and there.


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Rocker82
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03 Jan 2010, 11:55 am

People have never gotten mad at me for socializing,but it's the opposite.Some individuals who know well,get upset at me for talking to people.If I socialize would I get a reward for it?



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03 Jan 2010, 12:03 pm

People used to get frustrated with me that I would give more information about a topic or a person (or myself) in a conversation than what was needed. This was particularly frustrating for my boyfriend. I suspect that most people were annoyed with me but didn't tell me, and he was at least honest with me. Now I try to limit the information I give people.



Whatsherhame
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03 Jan 2010, 12:04 pm

YES.

Sitting on a bus, I heard a friend talk about her cosmetology courses.

I said,

" I didn't know you were in cosmetology!"

And she said ,

"YES, I am." And gave me the 'Like oh my god what an idiot, they've just ruined my day!' face.

Usually she just talks and I nod my head and laugh at the parts that your supposed too. That day I actually tried my hand at speaking to her for once. I must have upset the balance of the relationship or something.

So sorry I took an interest in your life, my friend. :evil:



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03 Jan 2010, 12:07 pm

Whatsherhame wrote:
YES.

Sitting on a bus, I heard a friend talk about her cosmetology courses.

I said,

" I didn't know you were in cosmetology!"

And she said ,

"YES, I am." And gave me the 'Like oh my god what an idiot, they've just ruined my day!' face.

Usually she just talks and I nod my head and laugh at the parts that your supposed too. That day I actually tried my hand at speaking to her for once. I must have upset the balance of the relationship or something.

So sorry I took an interest in your life, my friend. :evil:


I know someone who talks non stop. It gets so bad I have to zone out to keep from going berserk. So periodically she asks me about something and I don't know what to say because I haven't been listening.


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jc6chan
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03 Jan 2010, 2:05 pm

Spokane_Girl wrote:
"Do I need to tell you every single detail about my life?"


That rarely happens in real life as I am shy to ask into detail, but somehow I am not shy on MSN for example, and I think some people get annoyed at me for asking too much questions on MSN, I tend to talk a lot on MSN if people's status are "online".



iniudan
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03 Jan 2010, 2:29 pm

Asp-Z wrote:
It's apparently not enough to just have a conversation, but you have to have a conversation in the exact way NTs expect you to, or you're "rude", "embarassing", or whatever other crap people feel like throwing at you.

That's one of the main reasons why I operate a system of only socialising when I need to, so unless it's one of my few friends, a member or family, a teacher, etc, I won't talk to anyone unless they talk to me first, then if they don't like the way I socialise it's their own damn fault for talking to me :P



That about the way I work, just wish I had at least some other people then family, they cannot really hold a conversation with me for my interest are out of their own sphere and they don't really understand my difficulty, even through they try to be helpful.



subliculous
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03 Jan 2010, 7:11 pm

people give me s**t for not socializing. but when i do socialize? someone's always right there to interrupt the conversation and "take" that person away from me, as though i had no right to talk, or like i'm not there at all. i find it very dehumanizing, i can't win either way. this is one of the main reasons why i hardly ever speak unless someone speaks to me first. negative reinforcement. basic high school psychology class will teach you that.



iniudan
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03 Jan 2010, 7:54 pm

subliculous wrote:
basic high school psychology class will teach you that.


They teach psychology in high school now ? Or your school sure were more interesting then mine in course choice. (Or maybe it because where I live high school is 1 year shorter then in US, in place we have 1 more years of pre-university (CEGEP which is equivalent to college in the US (at least for the pre-university course, for they are also technical school))



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03 Jan 2010, 9:15 pm

iniudan wrote:
subliculous wrote:
basic high school psychology class will teach you that.


They teach psychology in high school now ? Or your school sure were more interesting then mine in course choice. (Or maybe it because where I live high school is 1 year shorter then in US, in place we have 1 more years of pre-university (CEGEP which is equivalent to college in the US (at least for the pre-university course, for they are also technical school))


they did at my high school, and that was a catholic one, in 1984.



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04 Jan 2010, 12:04 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
I've had that happen to me, while staying on the topic that a bunch of girls were. They just said, "Oh yeah, okay...whatever!" like a bunch of spolt Valley Girls. That turned me off to the mainstream population, right than and there.


Half the time I try talking to anyone they just tell me what I want to hear to make it sound like they care, or they cut me off, cause they really could care less what I have to say. So either way, it's the latter.

So what exactly is the point of attempting to socialize again?

It's why I just focus on my strengths, and pay attention to what people do and how they think. Works quite well for me, actually.