General questions that require a specific answer

Page 1 of 2 [ 18 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

leschevalsroses
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 14 Dec 2009
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 143

02 Feb 2010, 12:08 pm

I hate when people ask general questions that want a specific answer. For example when you're talking to someone about something, and all of a sudden they say, "so what do you want to do now?" or "so what are you thinking?" or "what's going on?" It confuses me so much because I know they're talking about something that has to do with the previous topic, but I don't know exactly what it is they want me to share my feelings on.

Yesterday I had to phone a lady whose house I'll be moving into in a week. She had just finished telling me that she was unable to take pictures of the room for me, and after she had finished she said "What do you want to do now?" We had already settled that I would definitely be moving in, but I wasn't sure whether she was asking if I still wanted to move in without pictures, whether I wanted her to try to get her camera to work again, or what other information I needed from her. I went with the latter and moved on to a different topic, which made her confused and then she asked whether I still wanted the room. I don't understand how people are able to ascertain these sorts of things, it's like I'm expected to be able to mind read or something.



ASdogGeek
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2009
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 769

02 Feb 2010, 12:36 pm

Don't worry that is confusing my first thought to her asking the question in that senario was, "Go back to what I was doing?" "move in?" and "get a snack,"

I do admit to asking simular questions but I try to be more specific example if I finished telling my boyfriend about something I will ask him "What are your thoughts on the whole thing," I want to know what he is thinking. :? Not sure what she wanted

I also often ask what people are thinking because I can't read facail expressions and I am not sure how to innicaite converstation.



DemonAbyss10
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2007
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,492
Location: The Poconos, Pennsylvania

02 Feb 2010, 12:47 pm

weird, ive navigated these situations a bit innately (which is indeed weird since i do have an official AS DX)


_________________
Myers Brigg - ISTP
Socionics - ISTx
Enneagram - 6w5

Yes, I do have a DeviantArt, it is at.... http://demonabyss10.deviantart.com/


TheSpecialKid
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 30 Aug 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 432
Location: Denmark

02 Feb 2010, 1:25 pm

I know how it is. I can also get these weird questions, where I have no idea what to answer.
Most of the time, I go with what sounds most logical to me, but that fails alot. :?



Ladarzak
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 9 Mar 2007
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 337
Location: Vancouver, Canada

02 Feb 2010, 3:15 pm

I get in that situation a lot, too. I just ask, "Not sure what you are specifically asking about by that. Could you explain?" or something like that. Ask for clarification.



rabryst
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 19 May 2007
Age: 47
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 113
Location: Canada

02 Feb 2010, 4:12 pm

Ladarzak wrote:
I get in that situation a lot, too. I just ask, "Not sure what you are specifically asking about by that. Could you explain?" or something like that. Ask for clarification.


Great advice, which is how I normally deal with it.

This might be slightly off-topic, but I've noticed when people pose a hypothetical question at me, in general terms, looking for a specific answer, I can identify it (usually because the hypothesis is not logical - gotta love NTs for that), and I ask in reply, "What are you *really* asking?"

Similar to OP, but different.


_________________
If you break a crumb in half, you have two crumbs - George Carlin


ursaminor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Nov 2009
Age: 158
Gender: Male
Posts: 936
Location: Leiden, Netherlands

02 Feb 2010, 4:36 pm

I find that the question "How are you?" is very difficult to answer.



Maggiedoll
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jun 2009
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,126
Location: Maryland

02 Feb 2010, 5:22 pm

ursaminor wrote:
I find that the question "How are you?" is very difficult to answer.

"I'm okay" is usually the correct answer on that one, unless they're asking about something specific. It's particularly confusing when you're not okay, though, and then you have to figure out if you're supposed to lie or not. (Like, can it be held against you if you say that you're okay?)



Who_Am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,632
Location: Australia

02 Feb 2010, 9:42 pm

I get confused by those type of questions. I usually just ask the person if they could be more specific.


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


wigglyspider
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Apr 2009
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,306
Location: WA, USA

02 Feb 2010, 10:09 pm

OMG those are the woooorrrrrssst. I REALLY hate "so what did you do today?" because it's like, uuh.. I did lot's of stuff, but I don't know which stuff YOU want to hear about. You want to know if I did something productive, right? NO, I DID NOT, THERE YOU GO. But wait! Maybe I DID do something productive, I'm not actually sure what counts as productive to you. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY.

But anyway, yeah, your example is perfect, because I totally can't tell what that lady meant. XD; I think people must be able to formulate ideas of what they want to do on the spot, and there's like a natural path that the mind usually follows for ideas and solutions or something, so I guess NT people follow that usually, (like, think of your area of expertise, your "special interest".. doesn't your mind just zip along so naturally when you're thinking about that? That ability must be spread out over many subjects for NTs) so a normal person would have already had an idea of what they wanted to do, so they wouldn't have even wondered what she had meant.

That's what I think, anyways.


_________________
"You gotta keep making decisions, even if they're wrong decisions, you know. If you don't make decisions, you're stuffed."
- Joe Simpson


ellenk55
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 18 Sep 2009
Age: 69
Gender: Female
Posts: 13

02 Feb 2010, 11:20 pm

Maggiedoll wrote:
ursaminor wrote:
I find that the question "How are you?" is very difficult to answer.

"I'm okay" is usually the correct answer on that one, unless they're asking about something specific. It's particularly confusing when you're not okay, though, and then you have to figure out if you're supposed to lie or not. (Like, can it be held against you if you say that you're okay?)


To some extent, it depends on if the person who is asking is someone to whom you would want to divulge your troubles. There are a bunch of things you can say that are not lying. "No use complaining" is the most popular, I think. Then, if the person really wants to hear what is wrong, they can say, "Oh go ahead, you can complain to me."



Alycat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Oct 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,690
Location: Birmingham, UK

02 Feb 2010, 11:37 pm

I struggle with general questions that require specific answers. My usual response is to say "as in...?" and wait for the person to elaborate on what they want me to say.


_________________
If you don't believe in dragons it is curiously true, that the dragons you disparage choose to not believe in you.


x_amount_of_words
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,359
Location: Spokane, Washington

02 Feb 2010, 11:44 pm

I just don't answer those questions.


_________________
theamazingjunkie.flavors.me


Rocky
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 May 2008
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,074
Location: Uhhh...Not Remulak

03 Feb 2010, 2:30 am

I know what you mean. I feel like I am in a play and don't know the script. If I recognize what they are asking as small talk, I will repeat one of the expected lines from the small talk "script." If not, I will ask for clarification.


_________________
"Reality is not made of if. Reality is made of is."
-Author prefers to be anonymous.


rabryst
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 19 May 2007
Age: 47
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 113
Location: Canada

03 Feb 2010, 2:41 am

Rocky wrote:
I know what you mean. I feel like I am in a play and don't know the script. If I recognize what they are asking as small talk, I will repeat one of the expected lines from the small talk "script." If not, I will ask for clarification.


Ah yes, programmed responses. These are very useful in the right context. I can also program in one-liner jokes to respond to certain keywords or phrases, so people end up thinking I'm funny, meanwhile it's a side process that I'm not really thinking about.


_________________
If you break a crumb in half, you have two crumbs - George Carlin


Liir
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jan 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 22
Location: Slovenia

03 Feb 2010, 5:44 pm

ellenk55 wrote:
Maggiedoll wrote:
ursaminor wrote:
I find that the question "How are you?" is very difficult to answer.

"I'm okay" is usually the correct answer on that one, unless they're asking about something specific. It's particularly confusing when you're not okay, though, and then you have to figure out if you're supposed to lie or not. (Like, can it be held against you if you say that you're okay?)


To some extent, it depends on if the person who is asking is someone to whom you would want to divulge your troubles. There are a bunch of things you can say that are not lying. "No use complaining" is the most popular, I think. Then, if the person really wants to hear what is wrong, they can say, "Oh go ahead, you can complain to me."


It`s mainly a social question, just to break the ice. "How are you?" I`m ok, you?" and so on, just something to start conversation with. They don`t really want to hear an answer. However i find it very interesting when you answer properly, totally freaks them out and breaks their rhythm :lol:


As for original question, it`s usually best to ask for some more information if you aren`t sure. Like "what do you mean?" or similar.