The handshake

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I blogged about this today and was wondering if anyone else is lost when it comes to the importence of the handshake? Furthermore, does the feeling of someone else's hand create a high anxiety level right before and during this crazy ritual?

I've never really understood nor cared for the ritual, though I don't really have a problem with it.

People say it's due to weaponry and such... That's nice, but there's no reason to do it anymore. I've also heard something about using the left hand for wiping, but I use the right hand so that never really got me either...

I don't mind doing handshakes, and if it seems to be what the other person wants then I can feel quite good that I've scored a social "brownie point." On a good day I can even look them in the eye, smile, and control my grip so that it's firm rather than weak or bone-crushing. I started to feel easier about handshaking when I got rid of my warts - I always used to feel that I might spread the virus to them, though I gather it's a very low risk.

But I don't particularly approve of handshakes. I tend to feel that my relations with other people should be either very warm and chummy, or nothing, depending on who it is I'm dealing with. If it's the former, then I prefer to embrace them (though I rarely do because I haven't had much practice recently and tend to be rather clumsy with it). I don't like these "business relationships" which usually require handshakes - I can see how it makes the world go round, but if I like somebody then I want that relationship to grow unfettered by silly formalities, while if I dislike them, I just don't want to deal with them at all. Very black-and-white, I know, but these limited formal relationships just feel cold hearted somehow.

Even worse is the HUG, which is a custom engaged in with the crowd I find myself with most of the time.

I utterly HATED it at first, but it's not bad now. I'll do it with those people, but not those who are not a part of the context in which the hugs take place.

I look at it as like the secret handshake of a fraternity/sorority/lodge and such.

I love hugs, but I hate handshakes. When you give a handshake, you have to look the other person, in the eye.

Same here, I remember growing up and being taught all the proper points of a handshake, like grip strength, making eye contact, smiling / being confident, etc... Heck, there is even a BOOK about handshakes!

Yet to me it really has little meaning - other than what I have been told. To me I judge a person based on what they do, or the content of their words... not their handshake.

I know there are other social rituals I personally find odd - things like proper greetings / saying peoples names and the like. For me, even if I have not seen someone in some months, I have been taught to act surprised/happy ''WOW! Great to see you, have not seen you in a long time!!' Even though I may really feel that way, the outside picture is a necessary act so the other person is not insulted.

I used to be utterly terrified by handshakes, but they were something that my family really valued. With time, I discovered that it was far easier for me to shake hands (or touch people in general) if I initiated it. Now, if I think there is any chance that a handshake is expected, I initiate it, just to play it safe. This actually plays out to my advantage, as I have large, strong hands and the fact that I initiate the act tells people that I am confident and assertive (which I actually am, in many ways).

Although I don't understand why handshakes are such an important ritual, I don't mind doing it. I used to be terrified of shaking someone's hand, but I've pretty much mastered the skill.

I'm totally indifferent about such action, handshakes, hugging, giving a kiss when meeting/leaving someone. I understand the use, for others, it comforts them, and addresses them personally, most people like that. I learned to react on it when people come at me with such intentions, though it still catches me by surprise from time to time.

Very important. Its a sign of respect.

It can feel awkward, but I do it because that is what society wants me to do when meeting new people. If it's that important...

Just glad they're not all like those secret society handshakes, where they tickle your palm with a finger while gripping your hand. What sort of philistine dreamed up that perversion?

I don't mind the handshake, but the whole super-firm, "friendly", "well-met" hand shake bothers me. I'm usually fairly perfunctory about it if it's not someone I know well. Sometimes it can be very awkward, sometimes not. Hugs amongst (very) close friends or immediate family are usually alright.

I don't care for handshakes. I sometimes do it. If the person holds out their hand, I shake it just to be polite.