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dt18
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09 May 2010, 11:40 pm

How many of you would consider yourselves "closet autistics"? I'm finding that when talking to middle aged and older adults, I really can hide my autism quite well. If this is something common, why is this possible?



sinsboldly
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10 May 2010, 12:02 am

dt18 wrote:
How many of you would consider yourselves "closet autistics"? I'm finding that when talking to middle aged and older adults, I really can hide my autism quite well. If this is something common, why is this possible?


I think it is our formality, our manners and sense of order and decency. We respect them instinctively, and enjoy talking to someone that takes time to think and deliberate their answers. I work with people 65 and older. . sometimes much, much older in their 80 and beyond. We get along great, but don't put me in the lines of business of 50 and younger, please! They talk too fast and there is some sort of social shorthand I haven't picked up on yet.

Merle


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Chronos
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10 May 2010, 1:16 am

dt18 wrote:
How many of you would consider yourselves "closet autistics"? I'm finding that when talking to middle aged and older adults, I really can hide my autism quite well. If this is something common, why is this possible?


I'm quite aware I go about spending my spare time in not entirely neurotypical ways. And quite frequently I think to myself "You know normal people don't do this..." and then I ruminate on the matter as it strikes me as curious all the things that never occur to them to do, or rather, all the things they do which one should come by doing naturally, which I don't apparently, and then I wonder what it's like to come by doing such things naturally, with a bit of envy because I feel I spend too much time sorting things out in my head.



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10 May 2010, 2:30 am

I'm getting a closet built soon, so I can hide in there with all my guns and action figures when the world gets too scary.

Nearly a closet one.



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10 May 2010, 7:13 am

I have been at this for a few decades...

and I really didn't put it together that I was sooo different, until now in the last few days, In fact I feel quite normal, as long as I am not around other people, that is when the frustration begins. It would be so cool to see a society where we are the normal and they are the deficient.

Kinda like xmen only we dont have the fancy powers ...yet.

GEM



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10 May 2010, 8:06 am

dt18 wrote:
How many of you would consider yourselves "closet autistics"? I'm finding that when talking to middle aged and older adults, I really can hide my autism quite well. If this is something common, why is this possible?


Moderate Asperger can be adapted to. One can learn to play "the role" of a neurotypical in the same way one can learn a part for a play.

ruveyn



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10 May 2010, 9:16 am

ACTING:
It seems that is how i survived 49 years so far, but it does get tiring and difficult, for me I am a man of multifaceted ethnic backgrounds, White Conservative, Black, Chinese, Japanese, Hawaiian, Philippine, Indian, Native American. no not in my blood just Caucasian, but I have lived around these cultures long enough to be accepted into them, My savant adaptive skills exemplary.

Problem:
when I wasn't very conscious of my surroundings I would slip up, some black traits would come out in a Cowboy setting, or some redneck behavior I learned, would leak out in a Philippine gathering, all in all even though I was most certainly a crafty "Actor" the mixed bag of tricks gave me away.

Which caused me to try even harder to get my roles right, more frustration - Isolation became freedom from having to perform.

side note: If one did not get so much diversity of roles, they could master one very well, and even perfect it better than someone else, so that the setting they would be in would be compatible to there role.

GEM



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10 May 2010, 9:29 am

I'm pretty closeted lol.
I've been getting better over the years at acting normal, and it's been paying off. I had no idea that the reason people didn't like me was because I was doing things that were awkward or inappropriate...
I've found the downside of this is that it's making it very hard to get a diagnosis. The last psychologist I went to wasn't qualified anyway, but she told me that she thought I was "on the fence" with AS, because I HAVE FRIENDS... um...


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10 May 2010, 9:43 am

I haven't told many people about my AS, and I was only diagnosed recently anyway.
I guess people might see the differences in me, but if AS isn't mentioned, they probably just think I'm stubborn or selfish or weird or something.


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10 May 2010, 9:53 am

dt18 wrote:
How many of you would consider yourselves "closet autistics"? I'm finding that when talking to middle aged and older adults, I really can hide my autism quite well. If this is something common, why is this possible?

I think that it is because the middle-aged people we talk to expect a conversation of more general content since if the 2 of you talk about generation-specific stuff, there will be a problem. When talking to people your age, there is a higher expectation of what you should already know (like famous artists, movies, bands)



CosmicCowboy
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10 May 2010, 10:35 am

Many AWE-tistics can role play an NTs but I find the reverse far less?

"Rainman"
"If you could say it in words"


GEM



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10 May 2010, 10:43 am

Alycat,

I just came out of denial this week, and I dont have many peeps left to tell it to...

GEM



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10 May 2010, 11:48 am

I tell almost no one because I've found that they simply won't understand, and if they would, it would be a very complicated thing to explain.


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10 May 2010, 5:46 pm

I find it much easier to get along with older adults, like my mom's friends, than my peers. They just let me be me and don't question. People my own age wonder what's wrong with me and sometimes ask me.



CosmicCowboy
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11 May 2010, 2:40 pm

excelent point tigger,
looking back it was the older generations that i gravitated to, some times the younger ones maybe they accepted me out of young curiosity, or the generation gap made the allowance of wierd behaviour,

My peers I have none, Im almost 50 and I have been thinking about getting out my sector 9 bamboo long board and do some street surfing. :0
There is no way I could last long in a room of my peers, I would throw me out or they would...



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11 May 2010, 3:06 pm

I'm certainly closet AS, never officially diagnosed and never care to be. I mentioned this once to a friend, someone I thought I could trust, but I NEVER said whether I'd been diagnosed or not. This person, not sure WHY, actually called the Child Protective Services hotline on me and my wife citing, among other things, that AS made me a danger to my kids!

Anyone who has been on the wrong side of a police investigation or other similar inquiry such as DHS knows you NEVER volunteer information. So when asked about my diagnosis, I gave a simple, straightforward, and truthful "No." I shudder to think what would have become of my family if I'd ever had a diagnosis that could be confirmed by a government agency.

Perhaps one day I will seek an actual dx and be more public about it, but not until my children are MUCH older!