executive dysfunction sucks.

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I have serious trouble with this to the point where Im wondering if theres anything that can help me with some things I have difficulty with. I dont understand how to pay my bills, I miss almost every appointment I make and it seriously interferes with my financial situation. I guess Ill give some examples. It takes me an excessive amount of time to do anything like clean the apartment. I can spend several hours a day even cleaning something and then mess it up again within 15 minutes worse than it was in the first place. I burn everything I cook. I have destroyed lots of clothes in the laundry. I break everything I touch. I have broken the dishwasher 3 times this month doing the same thing. I have never held a job more than a week. My friend recently paid me 100$ to clean his yard. It took me 4 days to do a 6 hour job. I had to drive there 4 times and paid about 8$ in gas every time I went there. I do things like walk to my mailbox, forget the key, come back inside, go back to the mailbox and realize I forgot the key again. I even spill the cat food all over the kitchen every time I feed the cats. Sometimes I spill the milk all over the counter when I try to pour a glass of milk. I lose my train of thought when I write posts like this and it takes too long. When I clean stuff I end up making more of a mess that cleaning. People tell me to take notes to help with this stuff. Anyone whos lived with me knows ive tryed several times and it doesnt work because even if I remember to look at the notes, I have no idea what is revelant information to take notes on vs. what is not and when I read it back, a lot of the time the information I wrote down in the first place is incorrect. I get very angry with people because they think I dont try hard enough or that Im lazy. I actually try to be as productive as I can. Also people I think people will thinking Im complaining about doing something if I find it difficult and I hate complaing so I will say I can do it just fine and then when i make a mistake they will say something like but you said you were good at this. Usually I will never admit to someone that something is hard for me but I feel like I can get it out here. I think if I say that its challenging people will either think im stupid, lazy, or just being unconfident in myself and that the only reason I cant do it is because I say so and Im starting to realize that Ive gotten so tired so people telling me that Im wrong I have made myself actually think that I can do anything and then get disapointed when everything doesnt go how I expected. Im realizing this is causing me more trouble because I attempt to prove that I can do these things. The people I live with dont even want me doing house chores anymore because ive destroyed everything but then I think that makes me look bad for not doing stuff and I dont want them thinking that Im being lazy so I continue doing these things and accdentlly breaking stuff again. I also hate people cleaning up after me to a point that I have serious anger problems when my stuff is touched. I have never thought of a solution for this. Having someone else do it is not an option not only because I dont know who would, but I also hate having people doing things for me.

You sound a lot like me...I especially like the part about hating when people clean up after you and having anger problems about your stuff being touched...That is partially how I managed to terrorize at least one person who was hired to clean up after me....
I agree! Exceutive dysfunction does suck...
Just a moment ago, I went to fix myself some cereal and wound up with hemp milk all over the floor and cabinet...now I do not feel like articulating any further...

You're telling me. You've convinced me you have clinical executive dysfunction, if not something equally bad. However there are not many of us, it fact your the only person I can reasonably say has comparable experiences. "Executive dysfunction" is used as a buzz word in various fields who don't do the test, so it has the effect of trivialising those who have a clinical problem. I think you find that people will relate, because they will have trait, however executive dysfunction is across the board so very little make up for it. of course you might be able to find someone who has flooded thier kitchen, etc but that in itself is not an indicator, it is really about how it affects you all the time. Contrary to belief it is not about getting distracted, we lose the thread internally. We are actually the opposite of impulsive people (they drive me nuts impulsive people no offence intended).

First things first-> wellbeing. it is more important than anyothing, don't push yourself to mental breakdown (I learnt that the hard way), f**k what anyone else thinks. If you need to reduce your load then you don't need answer to anyone. People don't understand much outside thier experence so to them someone who talks the talk then that is a good yardstick of capability. They don't understand that the correlation between specific and general skill can be decoupled. You may have to dodge and dive other people's scrutiny that is all you can do.

As for solutions. I would be lying if I said I had wonder cure. Most intervention are no different than those applied to any number of learning difficulties, like making lists. The problem is you need a minimum of executive for them to be applied consitantly. if you find you can do little else while trying to apply them then that isn't really a viable solution. One thing I have done is not given up. I keep sticking it in the neck of these who could potentially help, as well as sorting out the so called "experts" from people with a little critical think and genuine initiative. I recently be assessed at yet another research hospital, hopefully these people will be able to do something about my executive and other cognitive problems.

@poopylungstuffing you may well have a component of it as part of your ADHD, however your creativity makes up for that in a lot of ways.

Anyway I totally understand about simple things taking a bloody age to get done, if at all. It is also the uncertainty, and totally cluelessness if it is going to take three days or three months. Let alone figuring out want to and when, and you will forget most of it. In school around when other kid were doing GCSE, I was basically taking a hiatus from academic study. I didn't really understand it myself at the time and they were at pains to get through to me, but really I was doing was delaying the inevitable mental breakdown. In that time I basically painted a mural and wrote some stuff, that was it. Because I was taking so long with the mural they obviously thought i wasn't going to finish it, so they offer to whitewash it. This just made me more determined to finish it, so I refused. The subject had absolutely no context in the school, it was merely for me to prove something to myself. The art teacher resented me, because I skipped her class to do it. But then again I skipped all classes. Needs must, you have to do what you have to do. If you are begin put between a rock and a hard place you have to stand your ground. This is not about being defiant, it is merely survival when others know no better than to tar you with another brush. Most of the time as an adult you duck and dive, but stand your ground if needs be. No apologies necessary. What you have to realise is people don't do it to you on purpose, they know no better. Try not to resent them for it. Don't get mad at them personally, it will not make you feel any better.


I know you know that we have intuitive, curiosity and ambition; we just need to figure out a way to make it work. If this wasn't the case I wouldn't be bang the same drum, I would have given up long ago.

I know it can be very frustrating. I used to be very angry in side, like yourself. You need to get this out or you may blow a gasket. Old shrink put me onto martial arts have to say it is probably the best thing I ever done. Yes you may totally suck and it will take you longer, but just keep going trust me. For a years I used to be really apprehensive before, due the social and learning aspect, but trust me it was worth it. It will help you get out some of that pent up anger, you do improve eventual (as unlikely as it sounds). In fact the mental conditioning you get from it is like a work out for the brain so I have to believe it is doing something positive. Certainly a good midterm solution until I figure out how to turn my cognitive problem on their head.

You basically have to just survive in the mean time, if that means going against the grain so be it. If you have to rely on handouts, then try not to feel bad about it. What else can you do? Personally I lover very much to leach on yuppies who moan about tax and how they might not get their second side return/loft extension done before they start popping out he kids , however I’m not actually on benefits due to family help as much as it would be fun to rub it in their faces. But seriously don't be resentful

I have more than just ADD (combined-type)
Creativity and executive dysfunction do not good bedfellows make....I live in a swirling pit of chaos that is completely beyind my control....even medicated as I am...I spend hours every morning pacing aimlessly before I can even begin to get anything accomplished...I lose things constantly...I have to hire helpers....lucky that i am to afford them

Creativity does not make up for it in any way...creativity makes it worse.....

i think this might have something to do with it

"Central coherence is the ability to focus on both details as well as wholes...This inability to understand wholes resides in the frontal cortex of the brain, which in turn also explains theory of mind deficits in people with autism. The inability to hold information in mind in order to use it later inother tasks is what causes the autistic individual to lack central coherence. Grandin (1995) states: "I cannot hold one piece of information in my mind while I manipulate the next step in the sequence"."

"Difficulty With Organisation And Sequencing. Related to the general difficulty integrating multiple information are the problems with organisation and sequencing. Organisation requires the integration of several elements to achieve a predetermined end. For example, if one is planning a trip one needs to anticipate what will be needed in order to pack all of these items in a suitcase before leaving. Another example would be the need to collect all of the necessary materials before successfully completing a task. Organisational skills are difficult for people with autism because they require the ability to focus on both the immediate task and the desired outcome at the same time. This kind of dual focus is what people attending concretely to specific, individual details don't do very well."

"Sequencing also is difficult for people with autism because it requires similar skills. It is not unusual for people with autism to perform a series of acts in illogical, counter-productive order, and seem not to notice. For example, a person might get up in the morning, comb his hair, then take a shower and wash his hair. A person making lunch might take two slices of bread and then put meat on top, instead of bread and meat then bread as we typically do in our culture. Sometimes they put their shoes on before their socks."

i think this theory would definately explain why we may have trouble finishing things and multi tasking, even if i do not agree with the whole theory because it argues that we are concrete thinkers, which is the opposite of me.

i sometimes wonder if i have executive dysfunction or a.d.d. or something because i really cannot organize my thoughts.

on the outside, i am neat, controlled, punctual, and perfectionistic, to the point of being obsessive. yet i really cannot visualize plans in my mind or put two disparate thoughts together. neither can i even remember my own thoughts and plans.

here is an example, i have no difficulty understanding medium length sentences without ever rereading them, yet i have to read lengthy sentences ten times over, because i cannot synthesize what is being said. i have that same problem for writing, yet not as pronounced.

i am the same way even when i try very hard not to be. this is why it takes me forever to finish the simplist things and why when i am tired i get mind blocks

i agree creativity when unorganized is completly crazy and can be a real b*tch

bills - automatic bill pay - this is a lifesaver

cooking - microwave dinners - the box has directions, all you have to do is press buttons, and when it beeps, it's done. Not the most nutritious, but it's not likely to burn. I've also been planning on getting a crock-pot, since you can turn them on and start cooking something in the morning, and it will be ready by the time you get home. (Of course, I've been "planning on" getting a crock-pot for about 6-8 months now. I "plan on" doing a lot of things. ).

keys - I always check my pockets before heading out the front door. I have a USB key in my front left pocket, my keys and a pen in my front right pocket, and my wallet in my right rear pocket. I tap each of these pockets from the outside, making sure that each has the appropriate shaped object(s) in them. I used to work in a building that had an outside door and an inside door, and I always checked my pockets before exiting either door, even though they were pretty much right next to each other. I tried to get myself to only check them once, but couldn't. I never forgot my keys, though.

I was saying it was different the executive component of ADHD is different. The creativity you do particularity live requires you to hold several bits of information in your head. Whilst I can do this in some cases you have been able to make it work for you to the extent that you can afford helpers, providing you didn't win the lottery. Granted possibly with the help of team work but that isn't abnormal. So yes you probably do have executive dysfunction, but you have been able to make it work more power to you.

The component of executive dysfunction of ADHD is definitely a problem, and ADHD is definitely a b***h. However the impulsivity in ADHD is different attentional problem than that clinical executive dysfunction.

I do this but tit is not really great, it means you aren't really overseeing your finances. Also people think the problem just extends to bills. I had cheques I didn't cash that turn up one or two years later so they are void, or rebates I'm entitled to not sent in for.

These type of strategies aren't rocket science and aren't news to someone with executive dysfunction, this is what they hope to be able to use if it could work. They do help a bit the problem is using them consistently, when you are supposed to be remembering to do it.

I have the organizational skills deficit in spades. Physical organizing is worst; 42 and my room and my papers are still a crazy mess. Without online billing I'd be a disaster on that front, too.

What helps people with organizing their sh*te?

Last edited by Persephone on 11 May 2010, 7:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

One of the main features of ED is constantly being scuppered and constantly pulling yourself back on the rails and across the board, and how much longer thing take. Messiness, losing thing, etc. is a side effect, but a side effect of many other things.

It isn't quite the same as the nutty professor stereotype, where intense interest can interfere with daily life.

No idea, problem is stacks don't work for me. Only lateral i.e. the floor. If the floor is where i put thing at least i know it is on the floor somewhere...hopefully.

Tidying up only me feel less buried it doesn't actually help me find and organise better, because of a lack of a mental map.