I have noticed an interesting phenomenon.

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It seems when I am around other aspies, even if I don't know them, I can still seem to detect that they are aspie/autistic. Why is this? Its a very interesting thing indeed. I always seem to be able to communicate with other aspies too on a different level that I communicate with NTs, and im wondering why all of these things happen

I often feel this way too, and I think that sharing the same social deficits means better understanding the workarounds to those deficits, which facilitates a much deeper overall understanding, if that makes sense.

I think that whenever anyone is anything that isn't super common, they can always sense that someone else is like them. I think it's similar to "gaydar",

Maybe like gay people have a gaydar (so they say), those with AS have a aspiedar. Just a silly thought.
It could be true though. People do tend to detect others like themselves because it's in human nature to look for people who you have things in common with.

I believe Aspies have been likened to Crystal Children, who only want to play with each other.

Frankly I still haven't diagnosed anybody else yet, though I seem to be very near to making a pronouncement on one - social gaffes, unusual eye contact, difficulty in shifting focus quickly from one thing to another, can't find a job, difficulty in getting fully included in groups, stays in a lot, awkward with touch, pathological honesty, very strange conversational style, forgets to do things that are not part of normal routine even when important........this person is also by far the most interesting one of the group, at least to me. My views are apparently not shared.

It could be just my preference for unusual people though - so what else should I be looking for, to find out if I'm right? One thing's for sure, my gut reaction says Aspie, and it's been saying that since long before I had much logical evidence. Wishful thinking or Aspie intuition?

How do you decide whether to tell an Aspie that you think they've got AS? It could change their life forever and not necessarily for the good in the short term, though I suppose self-knowledge is always a good thing eventually. Do we have the right to intervene like that? Do we have the right not to intervene?

Should you intervene?

It depends how stable the person is.

If they are in a good place, or in a very bad place, and likely to stay in either state, then tell away. They'll probably have the means to handle it.

However, if they are in a new job or relationship, being told they are an aspie, and what that means, could upset the whole applecart.

of course not knowing could get them fired or broken up with.

It's kinder to tell--rather than get into a repeat pattern of getting fired or deciding, "relationships just don't last"

I'm convinced that Aspies who "get" their diagnosis eventually do MUCH better.

It seems to me that aspies don't just lack neurotypical social skills; they also possess some aspie-typical social skills. Most people hate talking about anything relevant or interesting, and would rather just push air through their glottis while making chewing gestures than have a conversation that involves thinking. Aspies like to talk about things, and sometimes they like to listen to other people who know a lot. It's not at all surprising to me that people with our sort of conversational style would be able to identify each other and enjoy each others' company.

"Aspies like to talk about things, and sometimes they like to listen to other people who know a lot. It's not at all surprising to me that people with our sort of conversational style would be able to identify each other and enjoy each others' company."

FYI, in addition to aspies, a certain sort of intelligent person and some people with ADD are like this, too. Although I'm not diagnosed with ASD, this is one of the traits I relate to the most, and I seek out this sort of conversational style in others. Actually, this might be one of the main factors that determines whether or not I "click" with someone and whether they move from acquaintance to friend.

I notice AS traits immediately in people, but because I've met so many NTs and ADD-ers with AS traits, I tend not to assume the person actually has AS until I notice that the person has every trait in the DSM. However, I think I'm pretty accurate at pegging, quickly, the fact that a person is non-neurotypical in general. This was actually a problem once when I worked at a summer camp and encountered an indisputably non-NT child, but was not allowed to do so much as talk to the (bewildered) teachers about what I'd observed. I still regret that I didn't talk to them anyway.

I don't know, my boyfriend appears to be an aspie to many but really it's a combination of being a geek and having social anxiety from a very young age. Some with ADD who aren't aspies may appear to be so. Neurotypicals who are simply intelligent may also have a similar conversational style. I think sexuality can't be equated with neurological wiring.

I'm just curious as to how you know they're autistic. Do you ask? Are they diagnosed? If only one in one hundred and fifty has AS, running into others should be a fairly unusual occurrence unless you work in a Mental Health Facility. In fifty years I've only run across two or three that I strongly suspect of ASDs, but I have yet to meet anyone whom I know for a fact was a diagnosed Aspergian.

@Willard: As of a couple months ago, about 1 in 110 across both genders were on the spectrum, and 1 in 70 males were. Given that most of us meet far more than 110 people in our lives, the odds that we'll meet someone on the spectrum at some point is quite high. If we live in an area with a higher than normal percentage of people on the spectrum (California, or a school with a good engineering/CS department ;D), the odds are even higher. If you yourself are on the spectrum, your family is more likely to carry relevant genes, so the odds are higher still. Granted, there may be a generational difference, too--there may be fewer diagnosed people with ASD in your generation than in mine, so you may have met fewer of them than I have.

I didn't ask how many the OP (!) had met - I asked how one can know for certain whether or not another person has been diagnosed with Autism without going up to them and saying "Hey! Got Autism? I Do!?". I don't doubt that one might pass several in a sizable metro area in a given day, but aside from the assumption that one can just 'tell', how can you know whether you're right unless you rudely make conversation about a stranger's neurology? Make all the hypotheticals you like about the statistical likelihood of encountering someone with AS, it's still a stretch to say 'I knew it and I was right' about any sizable number of people if they're not wearing ASPIE on their shirt.

It just seems akin to saying "I always know an iPhone user when I see one." Really? Even when it's in their pocket?

It's the smugness.

Willard, the point I was replying to was this: "If only one in one hundred and fifty has AS, running into others should be a fairly unusual occurrence unless you work in a Mental Health Facility. In fifty years I've only run across two or three that I strongly suspect of ASDs." The odds are now much higher than this, without working at a mental health facility.

But you're right, regardless of the odds, you don't know for sure unless the person is diagnosed, and discloses of their own free will. I didn't realize you were saying this earlier.

I've noticed that I tend to stick to quirky, outcast people. I don't know if they necessarily have AS or not, though. I've thought about bringing it up in the past, but now I'm glad that I didn't. They seem happy enough to be the way they are and it's probably better not to trouble them by introducing some syndrome to them.

Because those who deviate from social norms stand out like (insert metaphor here).

We are easier to talk to because we are relatively uninhibited in the sense that we lack many social insecurities, either innately or only for the fact that we have little idea if and idea of whether or not we are meeting certain social ideals of normality, so worrying that we are not becomes futile. In light of this, there is little to stop us from bringing up subjects in conversations which are slightly less mundane than "small talk."

For example, scenic bridge railings:
http://www.bridgerailings.org/

There was a man who had an entire website on the history of California's freeway railings.