you are being disrespectfull!

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i duno if any one else has people tell them they are being disrespectfull
but i do and for some reason i dont seem to understand why i dont think i did any thing
but latly people jump on my case mainly my parents to start with i dont even say much
and they jump on me then when i defend my self iam acused of being disrespect full
i duno maby its just me but i was wondering if any one else has had similar experiances.

I think it's because we have a target on our forehead that is invisible to us,
but the rest of the world is able to recognize it even in the dark.

The different species thought patterns are different enough that without intending it I frequently diss them - as they do me.

For one, we often fail to grasp what level of formality they expect. If you're too informal, that's disrespectful. If you're too formal, that's sarcastic (because no one ever just level-breaks by accident-- see, that was real sarcasm), which is disrespectful.

Then we sometimes have trouble modulating our tone of voice-- or trouble perceiving subtle differences in tone of voice-- which is what gets me in trouble with my mom almost constantly.

Then there's not making eye contact.

Then there's not picking up on a social cue and having them misconstrue that as deliberately ignoring them.

Then there's stating facts, because for some reason when you say things that are factually correct, you're almost always perceived as rude.

Details - Details
If they were paying attention to their own stuff, they would not be disrespecting mine

Yes. Simple answer. Yes, I have had people tell me I'm being disrespectful.

The more people tell you that, the more you want to keep your comments to yourself....which adds to the "social awkwardness".

Of course, if you keep your comments to yourself, some OTHER people will tell you you're being disrespectful.

I've learned that - after years and years of other people's disrespectful comments about MY behavior - you're NEVER going to please everyone.

You need to be yourself. If they don't understand, and won't try to listen to your reasoning, then they've made up their minds. Some people are like that.

The awesome thing about you is that YOU aren't going to be so bold as to tell THEM that in fact THEY'RE being disrespectful to YOU!

Just be yourself. That's all you can do.

It's because we don't use the same crappy grammar that our peers use. The annoying postmodern type, where everything sounds like a turned-up question, which makes everybody sound Gay.

The Gay comment coming from a Kinks Fan...my oh my.

It's not likely to be productive to call somebody disrespectful. In the world of conflict resolution, I believe the received wisdom is that it's much better to just detail the behaviour that the complainant has a problem with and to own their part in the dispute, without attempting to label the other person......and if the word "disrespect" seems unavoidable, to use the word "disregard" instead, as it's less provokative. I don't know where these clowns are coming from - I guess some people don't really want to resolve anything, others are just temporarily too angry to care, and the rest simply haven't yet grasped the value of diplomacy.

Oh yeah, i used to get that alot from my dad

he worked me like a slave in exchange for living at his place after i turned 18.
He did no such thing with his girlfriend's son. Thus I called him out one day on how unfair that was & honestly it was true.
Apparently he felt so disrespected that he kicked me out & now i have to live at my mom's place. All my disability pay goes towards my portion of the rent & i'm essentially living on foodstamps.
He equivocates disrespect with being embarrassed. He gets embarrassed when people point out that he's in the wrong. & hell, when he's in the wrong about me, after a certain point i ain't gonna keep sitting there and taking s**t, i'm going to speak up .

oh man, thats like when my older sister yells at me and tells me I need to try harder to feel emotion? :/
which I reply with, "imagine you can't feel pain, you stab yourself in the hand, and you don't feel anything"
her, yea and?? me "now I say, try harder to feel the f*cking knife" she cannot grasp the concept that most of the time, I don't feel a lot of empathy, or show a lot of emotion towards other people. thats not to say im inconsiderate, I try to go out of my way to do things for my mom and my friends. and they always complain that i didnt do it right, or that I didnt do it good enough.

SOME people cannot find anything good with anything anybody does, and im so fed up with it.

I've been called disrespectful quite a lot my parents & teachers ect. Lots of people think I'm being smart when I think I'm being honest. I fail to understand why people ask questions when they do not want to hear an honest answer. Humans are a highly illogical species Seriously thou Whey do people ask me how I'm doing if they really do not want to know I learned at an early age to keep quiet in social situations. Parents still thought I was being rude/disrespectful but I got to avoid having arguments I think Aspeis are generally more literal/logical people so we have problems understanding/relating to NTs & vice versa

Yeah don't worry about it, the problem isn't you, the problem is the ignorance of the people accusing you. People used to always mistake my introversion for disrespect too but the reality of the matter is I always had deep respect for everyone else I just happen to be extremely introspective and sometimes when I'm thinking heavily everything else gets blocked out and I don't pay attention to my surroundings. I'm guessing you're a teenager because this happened to me when I was a teenager, but although I still get these heavy bouts of introspection nobody hassles me about it anymore and I think its because I'm an adult now. I think they used to mistake this introspection for some kind of teenage rebellion.

Ya this social thingy seems to require a lot of fine tuning and adjustment that apparently, an NT teenager would have figured out already. Seems like alien language to me. I've been told that by many teachers I had when I was young. Though as my grades were good they generally let me off easily.

i get it most of the time


oh, btw could you please stop saying stuff like "makes u sound gay"

I think its just a part of Aspie/Autie life *sigh.

thanks all that makes sense to me about it was somthing i was wondering oh and on a side note becous emotion played a big part of some of your topics i was told from my mother one night that the reason i have problems, (i.e. cant hold a job more than half a year,depressive mood swings along with others) oh and i ahve noticed 5 grey hairs im only 21 and am already getting grey hairs, but that it was my fault for not being able to control my emotion, i can agree that to an extent as emotional controll is somthing i have little of even when i was younger at maby i think 3-5 when i tried to draw a picture i would always get frustrated becouse i could not do it right how i saw it, but for me the way it was put is that all my problems including posibly having aspergers wich gets ever more apparent to me the more i find out,but i just would like some one who is where iam to be on my side of things for once whome i can get a little assistance from,i cant go to therapist for any thing if i cant keep a job due to stress and depression i get from just doing the job can i, and its kinda hard to do any thing with out money, to make matters worse iam always in trouble for somthing half the time i dont even know i was doing somthing wrong.