Communicating with the deaf when you do not make eye contact

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When I was 17 I worked at this super market in the bakery department. One day a deaf woman came to place a cake order. I would sometimes have to take orders for cakes and just my luck a deaf woman came in the one time no one was there. When I was younger I did not even look at people's faces when I talked to them. She said she can read lips please look up so I can see your lips. I grabbed a piece of paper and I wrote I do not like people starring into my face this close. I will write my responses for you. She flipped out and asked to see the manager so I called my boss over and he explained to her that I do not normally take orders and I have problems dealing with people. She wanted me fired and he just kept calmly saying please leave. It was a nightmare, she actually called me a ret*d that sucked for her because the boss had a son who had downsyndrom. Thats why I think the boss was so patient with me because he was use to people who were different.

4 years latter she saw me working at the resteraunt and she told my boss I was a trouble make he just laughed at her and said yeah I know thats why I like him.

With a pad of paper, and a pen.

I find it easier to sign with people who are deaf than to engage in social conversation with strangers. Even though many signs involve the face, my attention is focussed on their hands, and I can maintain a conversation without eye contact.

I said that in the op. But she refused to read what I wrote down. My hand writing is big and easy to read she was just being difficult with me. It was her way or no way I guess. I think she might of thought I did not look at her out of disrespect or something. She did not want to understand what my boss was saying either.

Sounds like she uses her deafness as an excuse for acting ret*d. Douchebag woman.

Seriously I hate people like that. If she wants you to respect her deafness she should respect your inability to look people in the eyes.

Please see this thread: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt131035.html

I could not believe she tried to start something with me at another job by telling my new boss I was a troublemaker. Lucky for me my boss thought she knew me and was kidding with him.

Being called a ret*d by a deaf person hurt more than being called one by a NT person because it came from someone who also had to go through life with difficulties. That and she hurt my bosses feelings when she said that because of his son has downsyndrome.

Last edited by Todesking on 06 Jul 2010, 10:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Good boss!

Do you find it easier if you avoid a person's eyes to look at their lips or to look at the space NEAR their heads, by any chance?

I am sure you did not mean it that way, but saying "acting ret*d" as a put down is not how I would have said it. I would have said she was acting narrow minded. ret*d people would not act that way necessarily. I agree with your post otherwise.

I'm deaf and I find that woman offensive to the extreme. Glad you had a good boss backing you up!

Apparently this woman thinks she's the only one on the planet with communication issues.

It's possible she thought you were being insensitive to her needs not even realizing you have a form of autism. But you did offer to write down your responses so she read them.

Personally, I have no problems looking at people's lips or by their faces so they see my lips. I can look at their necks too or at something else so that way they can still see my lips.

For the deaf woman's defense it was the 80's the average person did not really know about the autism spectrum. For all she knew I was disgusted with her disability. I did my best to accomidate the both of us but she had a chip on her shoulder.



When I was younger I could not even lift my head up to look at people directly in the face. It happens once in a while when there is a combination of new people and noise. If you want to see an example of me talking to someone across the room you can see it check out this link.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postxf16892-0-5640.html

Its from the Post a Picture of the Real You I am about at the 377 page of it.

People who act like that are ret*ds in my eyes. I dislike using the term for mentally handicapped people. I did not mean to offend anyone.

You couldn't speak with your eyes closed?