Any Aspies here disassociate themselves from Aspergers?

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I seemed to have become more NT, not in the bad ways that are criticized on this board...but more like "Ok there's nothing wrong with him." Years ago, looking at me due to body language and mannerisms, you could tell there was some sort of social drawback. Now, other than in the company of immature teens/early 20 something or at someplace like a bar or club, where people have really high Social IQs and can spot minute differences because they're looking for them, I feel for all intents and purposes, I fit in.

Because of that, I've wanted to disassociate myself from Aspergers. I have it, but it's not what's holding me back. I have severe ADD symptoms (never diagnosed with ADD) but I can't concentrate on anything, especially if I have no interest in it. The prospect of "making a paycheck" doesn't motivate me because even if at worst something happened to my parents, a family member would take me in, and even if that didn't happen, I have no problem living in a group home. So my problem is apathy in things I don't like and inability to "fake it" and concentrate...along with the Aspie trait of lacking common sense in executive functioning situations, which is probably why I never did well in math or science in school.

Other than that, it's no longer obvious to anyone who isn't looking for differences in people that there's a problem, and frankly I don't want to be associated with a condition that is known for things like Rain Man and Jenny McCarthy and people obsessed with sci-fi and video games and weird topics.

It's almost like, the past few months, other than being on this site, I don't even think of myself as an Aspie. I just think of myself with someone with sub-par social skills that's gradually learning how to overcome it to the best of his ability.

So you were misdiagnosed, congratulations. Have a great life.


BTW, If you're so normal, why wouldn't you want to go out an 'make a paycheck'? Why wouldn't you want to just for the sake of self-respect? I get the focus problem, but -oops - that's part of Asperger's Disorder. You can still focus on obsessive personal interests, there's probably a job in there somewhere. Oh, right, you don't have Asperger Syndrome. Anymore. Just ADHD.

Its a rhetorical question, I could personally not care less, just think you might have a different experience if you actually had to function socially over the long term in the workplace. Pretending to be like everybody else for short periods in a social setting is a piece of cake, and your life doesn't depend on it. Let's see you pass for neurotypical day after day for months on end in a Machiavellian group, knowing you'll starve and become homeless if you fail. Its a whole different game when you're playin' for money.

I hate to say it, but I agree with you, Willard.

But I like like being into video games and fantasy and weird things.

I also struggle with things that don't strike my interest... a lot of everyday adult matters really don't interest me. Insurance, banking, ugh. I feel so behind on those things, and people throw around words related to those things and I have to act like I sort of know what they're talking about. I just can't learn about stuff like that.

Anyway, I'm at the stage where I'm debating whether I want to "join the group" or not. In many ways, I'm starting to feel a bit of inner peace by realizing that my personality might actually make a lot of sense in the context of this group of people. Trying to find my own way in the world (and getting nowhere) has made me feel like I've slowly started to lose some of the best parts of myself. Now I feel like I'm picking up the pieces of my past, present, and potential future, and it's starting to form a picture that might actually make some sense. Whether you want to assume your differences from normal people mean something or nothing is your own decision, I guess.

Best of luck to you, me, and all of us in whatever path we take toward understanding ourselves.

Willard is correct again.

ForeverYoung, I'm 46 and have never had that choice. If you do, then you don't have Asperger's. Plain and simple. It's not something that just goes away because you will it to, or because you think that having a disability seems inconvenient now.

I was not diagnosed until this year, so... I've already spent all of my life trying to be an NT and, I'll be damned, but it hasn't worked!

So, maybe you can take an SSRI for your OCD problems or some BuSpar for your anxiety and you'll be all fixed up... go forward and enjoy your life, but If you have Asperger's, it doesn't work that way.

And by the way, I don't like scifi or videos games. they bore the hell out of me.

Another point, for Willard!

That's kind of how I see myself, foreveryoung. There's still something deeply different about me, but I seem to be coping better with my life. Next step for me is attempting the world of work once more, we'll see how that goes.

I don't feel particularly 'associated' with Asperger's, or any need to distance myself from it. You wrote some fairly insulting things there for an Asperger's board don't you think? We aren't all video game nerds. What happened to your newfound bonzer social skills when you made this post?

Whether you are/were an aspergian or not, If you feel you are growing out of your problems, and your suffering has decreased, then that is great, and I am happy for you.

Foreveryoung, I am confused by your post. Are you suggesting that you think you don't have Aspergers at all, or are you saying that you find yourself more able to pretend that you fit in as you get older? I can't even pretend to be sociable and well-adjusted for five minutes, let alone go to a party successfully, so I don't know what your experience must be like.

As for making money for yourself to live on, I think that the attitude your post conveys is rather ignoble, based on the supposition that your Autism somehow doesn't affect you. Are you happy with yourself as a person who refuses to support himself out of nothing more than apathy? Many of your posts are concerned with what women do and don't like in men, and (as a woman myself) my advice is that women don't like men who behave in this way. Women like hard-working men with self-respect.

Another sense I get from the posts of yours that I've read is that you seem more than a little ashamed to be associated with Autism, which I find quite sad. From what I have read, you seem preoccupied with the idea of fitting in with non-Autistic people, and getting them to like you . . . which doesn't sound a rewarding way of life to me. All questions of 'sci-fi and video games and weird topics' - as you put it - aside, I am finding the people on this forum to be the kindest, most supportive and non-judgemental I have ever known on any forum, and I would have no hesitation in directing another person with Autism to Wrong Planet for support, information and entertainment. I can't imagine being ashamed to be associated with the people I know who have Autism. Are we really that bad, or is your attitude the result of low self-esteem on your part?

I guess the meaning of the post is, whether or not I have Aspergers and to what degree, yes I feel ashamed to be associated, and that was the point of my post. Other than my lack of ability to drive a car or find a job that I can concentrate on (and no Willard I don't have any special interests unless you count thinking about naked women 24/7, and unfortunately, Playboy photographer isn't in the cards) the social skills are there. My extended family treats me differently than they used to. They were always nice, but you can tell they actually respect me now.

I'm not saying I'm cured of Aspergers (if I do have it) but I am saying that yes, I'm ashamed if I do. Not that NTs are great, but that NTs are the majority.

I used to be in the "Us against them" but I'm on the other side now and in the "doing something about it" stage.

As for the job mindset being a turnoff to women...I'm also not the one whining about looking for a girlfriend. I'm fully aware that if I wanted a long term girlfriend that my job mindset would be a complete turnoff, but like I said, I'm not begging for a girlfriend.

[quote="foreveryoung"]I used to be in the "Us against them" but I'm on the other side now and in the "doing something about it" stage.[quote]

So this has been, like, a war now... and to avoid being sent to the camps you're going to try to hide you circumcision and join the Schutzstaffel?

Why would this not sound a little trollish to me?

The way many people type here, you'd think everyone that is NT is the devil with the generalizations they make about them and how evil they are.

I hate to say it, but if you don't think you have Asperger's, then I think it is time for you to start getting serious about life and get a job! It is wonderful that your parents and family would take you in, but there has to be some type of work even with your ADD that you could do so that you can contribute something. I am not trying to be rude, but there are many posters here with AS that are able to hold down jobs and support families. What makes you think that you don't need to work if you are not disabled?

I just learned to live with what i'am and most people wouldn't guess I have a serious condition just a bit off that's all. Even though i''m introverted towards everybody I still have more compassion than an extroverted NT would.