Birthday Anxiety

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I'm turning 30 soon and am dreading the actual day.

I've always had birthday anxiety, being the centre of attention and all that but now that it's my 30th it's even worse. The fuss will be so much more.

I've arranged it so it'll be really low key with 4 of my friends, my parents and siblings, which will be nice but I'm still dreading it. I considered being away on my birthday, like be travelling somewhere so that I'm away from everyone, but then I wondered whether I might regret that and wish I had still had people over wishing me a nice day. I have nice friends and they know I'm like this.

This is awful. I can't really even put my finger on why my birthday is so terrible, but I've always been this way.

Anyone else got a story to share on this?

I don't really like a big fuss on my birthday. I'm quite happy to just let it slide by without anyone noticing. I don't mind spending time with immediate family, though this year my wife got people at some social event to sing Happy Birthday (geez, is she mad? She knows I hate socials as it is, but to get the whole crowd singing )

Sadly, somehow my colleagues at work have found out when it is; luckily this year I was on a course, so missed the whole having to buy the whole office cakes. I mean, what's with this - why am I expected to buy everyone else cakes on my birthday? Is that weird or am I just selfish (probably!)?

Sounds like you've got it sorted - small group of people you want to be with. Often I feel OK once I've got over the "fear" of going out.

I managed to get by my 18th 21st 30th and 40th safely, though I know its difficult because people see these as times to fuss more.

If that gives you anxiety, imagine this scenario:

You started a new job at the beginning of the year. On birthdays, it is the policy of this employer to gather together ever single employee and stand them in a circle. The highest ranking individual gives a small speech on how grateful they are for the birthday-employee's work. All gathered then proceed to sing and clap along to the happy birthday song and give the birthday sufferer a small, tacky gift which they must then fuss over and pretend to adore. After this, the birthday sufferer must give a small speech about how much they love working with these strangers and is so grateful and is looking forward to the opportunity to continue working with them all. This all occurs in your second language.

I just remind myself that in nineteen days, it will be over, and won't come again for another year. On the plus side, though, I'm pretty sure no one in my family even knows how to call me if they want to, so there's that.

/end self-pity-a-thon

When I began school years ago, Mom and Dad arranged for me a birthday party at our house with my fellow elementary school classmates. It was terrible. After that, Mom and Dad didn't arrange any more birthday parties, but instead took my best friend and me to a nice restaurant each year.

As an adult, I don't want birthday parties. I like small intimate get togethers with family only. Early in my marriage, my wife expected me to attend her family's birthday parties, but after coming to understand me better, I am not always expected to go.

I dont like it being my birthday. id feel quite happy if everyone just forgot it. everything about them is just awful

I'm feeling a little anxious about my 36th birthday. I know that I'm not getting any younger.

My facing-my-own-mortality birthday crisis came at 35. I dragged out my old 45 rpm records and was weepy and maudlin for weeks. After that I was cured and even my 60th birthday wasn't too bad.

Birthdays in general I prefer to be low key, so low key they may not differ from a normal day at all. But, this is an excuse for giving myself little presents (eating something normally verboten, buying something that I can't quite afford) for weeks before and after the "big" day. Real birthday parties would be painful because I hate to be the center of attention, normally not a problem.

Actually yes, I do have this issue everytime my birthday comes and I've always felt like that ever since the age of 17 really and I just don't any clue why?

Maybe it has something to do with depression wise on my side?

I have hated my birthdays since late childhood. Don't know what makes these days so important to other people. I wish they'd just leave me be and if the world forgot about my birthday once and for all I'd be quite happy with it.
It's not the idea of growing old that troubles me - I actually don't mind the process of growing old at all, but all the attention and the pressure. I tend not to pick up the phone on the day because I can't really stand the congratulations as they all sound phony and unnatural to me.

As the dreaded day of the year approaches every moment now, I am thinking of setting an automatic reply service in my phone saying something like 'The person you are trying to reach is not available'. This is what our local automatic operator service does but then people I have to work with every day other than my birthday will think I've changed my phone number and then I'll have to do some explaining, so the plan will most certainly backfire.

snape!

30 was probably the most difficult age to turn over. So I feel for you. I found that it got easier, and after 40 it just does not really matter anymore.

I have birthday anxiety as well. I've never been comfortable accepting gifts. Even if it's something I really am grateful to receive I am never surprised, and expressing enthusiasm and gratitude is painfully difficult for me.

My wife dreads the day with its possibility that her sister will talk her into a party, but I'm not sure how much is the birthday and how much is the socialization threat - which is what it would be for me if anybody were likely to try to party me.

Wow. Thank you so much for giving me your stories.

It's great to know I'm not the only one that suffers.

I think 30 was my most feared birthday. I still want to be a big kid, so as that tens digit gets bigger, I feel like less of a youth. Now I'm 43, and 50 is the next big whammy, and 30 sounds like being a little boy again.

Charles

a simple Happy Birthday is nice to hear from people that are close to you and to be remembered and to have someone special to celebrate it with would be very nice but it just isnt in the cards for me it seems-I have the ability to remember everone elses birthday but no one ever seems to remember mine-I feel so alone sometimes-one year it was so bad when my own parents forgot my birthday-talk about getting kicked in the gut.