Do you have a hard time having intelligent conversations?

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My little sisters talked and talked about there school day. Well the 11 year old is heading into 6th grade and my Social Problems class has a discussion going on over the fact that 6th graders get the HPV vaccine. (You get it in 6th grade). I mention it to mom and she didn't know what it was. When I mention it had to do with a virus based around intercourse she was confused further. Last semester while dad was watching American Idol I mention statistically,that data isn't valid since it's volunterry (I learned Statistics last semester) he said "What does that have to do with Statistics!" I walked away with my head down. Back when I was in college in the past the following happen on a car ride home Mom:What did you do today? Me: Learned about Sigmund Freud Her: WHO?! Me: He did dream interpretation Her: What the hell is that I don't give a damn about that s**t.

As you can see I can't have an adult/intellegent conversation with my parents. Anyone else feel this way?

It sounds like your parents just aren't intellectual enough for anyone to have an intelligent conversation with them (no offense).

The problem for me is that I have various speech problems making it difficult to have any kind of intelligent conversation unless its through writing.

Last edited by Molecular_Biologist on 04 Feb 2011, 6:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Your mother actually responded like that? that's...bizarre. I mean, she asked YOU. Weird. Anyhoo, yeah, there seems to be a lot of anti-intellectualism in the world. I don't think it's an autism problem, though. Unfortunately, people are still asking "f*****g MAGNETS, HOW DO THEY WORK?!"

Just be glad you're not like them. I'm the same with my mum but I really try to educate her on certain topics. She asked about what was going on in Egypt and it took me about 5 minutes to just summarize it.
I really hate it when people are so close minded.

I agree with the other posters. I think that your parents simply are not interested in having intelligent conversations. It's not your fault. Some people are more open to discussing things.

Also, some people are threatened when their children know more about a topic than they do.

Another thing: angry responses can make it difficult for me to converse. I just go into mental shutdown when it happens. Maybe that is a bit of what is happening to you.

Experience:

my parents rarely initiated ANY kind of conversation.

parents and siblings unwilling or unable to sustain much of a discussion on any topic - though some in my family can deliver quite a monologue. I can do hat myself, of course.

My wife's family is more likely to discuss, but has little interest in her preferred topics and is unlikely to get what she says.

"peers" - About one per year who could / would to some degree discuss. Do not expect great discussions with your professors - I have had more with students than with peers or hhigher in the hierarchy.

Conclusion - wait for it. e DO find one another in time. In the Inner Circle, we discuss all sorts of stuff at length direct, per phone, by email or paper. Once you find a few, you are set.

But it is hard when the famuily - of whom we expect more - is that way.

I'd have crying meltdowns tossing myself into a pillow while in college before with learning Psychology came me criticizing how my parents raised my little sisters. This didn't sit with them and I'd get it tossed back into my face. (Leading to meltdown crying into a pillow.) This lead to the diagnosis of a mood disorder although thankfully when I mention my AS traits etc. my current Psychiatrist wrote it down as a diagnosis so that's good.

Zelda, I'm getting a clearer picture now. I've seen your other postings and now I understand better. In fact it's much clearer by this post.

Where did you get your academic inclination from? Is it an anomaly or is it traceable to extended family? I'm just wondering.

Sorry, no offense, just an observation.

My mother was artitistic and played music, but not so much into intellectual things...... I can relate here.
Dad was at the top of his class .

I am not sure. Sadly no one (sibling/relative/parent) are wanting of college level discussion. Last semester when I was a week ahead my older sister said "Why are you ahead if you were going to do that you could just teach yourself." I COULD like other Aspies just buy books on Psychology (one of my interests) but having tons of Psychology books doesn't get you a PhD college does, you have to have that paper that gives you the degree to study Psychology. I have idea upon idea of research although I am not at a University at present (just a Community college). I analyze my environment.

I asked as a child why is the sky blue/grass green and was bumped up from 7th to 8th grade and while I wanted the Senior year fun I had been home schooled since 5th grade and was told I'd have to start over at 9th grade and could not jump into my senior year so I went to the Community College and got my GED. I attribute my ideas and smarts to Asperger's itself. I understand some Aspies aren't into academics and if you aren't that's fine.

Rudy Simones Aspergirls book made a good point saying that we seek knowledge we seek to learn as much as we possibly can. This fits me. With this semester I'm enjoying myself a lot more. I am doing 3 online classes and each let me give descriptions/questions that I think of so my Aspieness can shine and the students like it saying good job or they like my take on the weekly class assignment. For example instead of choosing basic questions from the text I thought of questions based around 9/11 a hot button issue and drugs etc. While others chose "What is a sample" a simple question from the text. I actually ended my Aspie paper with the following "Who would I be without Asperger's Syndrome?" "I don't care to find out that's for sure."

With my peers, I tend to have great amounts of problems in having conversations because I am too formal and I literally do not do "small talk."
I can have plenty of 'intelligent' conversations with a select group of peers and adults, though. I can talk with both my father and mother about such subjects.

Wow, that's too bad, ZP. Your parents sound even a bit anti-intellectual. I hope you can find some other people to have those kinds of conversations with.

(I guess I'm feeling grateful for my nerdy parents, now.)

Oh of course. infact i dont use "big" words, or try to use complicated words to describe very simple things, I usually mimic what i see on TV, or hear on a CD. so that means i've talked like a rapper before Or someone with a really bad accent that I found to irresistable to resist

MindBlind~

Is this a direct quote from the Miracles song from Insane Clown Posse? It says that at 1:52 into the song. I really want to post the video but I'm not sure about swear words and the rules here. I find that song so funny. I've watched it a few times. I'm starting to like it.

Right after he says that he says, 'And I don't wanna talk to a scientist. Ya'll m***********s lynin, and gett'n me pissed!"

That being said, I don't seem to be a good conversationalist with anything it seems.

My parents live in a very closed, simple world, and have no interest in many of the things I like. I learned just to keep talking to a general conversation, and tell them enough about my personal life (but not too much) to keep them satisfied.

You will have to seek outside sources for intelligent conversation (this isn't a reference to their actual intelligence but their interests.)

Yes, this is a case of parents who feel threatened by your knowledge. You probably can' t change this, so you'll have to live with it. Ultimately, you'll probably be better off if you can find people with similar views to yours to socialize with.

I'm the lucky one. My dad has been the one and only person who has been able to stimulate my brain throughout my childhood and my adult life, with intellectual conversations and logical thought.

My mom is a little harder to engage in intellectual and logical stigma.