Any one with an ASD feel like they are pretty NT?

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I am 20 years old. I was diagnosed with PDD/Autism at age 3. I suppose things could be worse for me though. For me it's like I live in two worlds, one with AS, and one with NT. I know my AS is there, but I am able to control it, which allows me to "Act" like a NT person would. I am enrolled in community college taking a drawing course to help enhance my natural talent as an artist. I don't like calling myself an Autistic savant, because in my head that's not true. Today, I try not to let my differences get the best of me. I'm a pretty normal dude living in a f**** up world. If you met me you wouldn't know there was anything wrong with me, unless you have spent several days and hours with me, and you know something is a little "off". I try not to let it bother me, but someway somehow it always manages to kick my butt. It does however, take me a few seconds to figure something out, or to get something right, which often people become upset with me, which Is why I try not to have too much communication, or take direction from others, along with being very clumsy, and always running into something, or someone. I am currently trying to get those issues under lock and key, and so far it's slowly coming along. I am ashamed of myself, and also the fact that I have this disability, and it is a very sensitive subject for me to talk about. I am always afraid that others will look at me through a different light, or treat me differently. I do everything that any other 20 year old out there would be doing. I go to parties, socialize, drink, smoke, all the normal things people in general society do. I truly hope that one day society will accept more people like me around. I'm not all that bad. Sometimes, I just don't understand myself, and it's quite depressing that my life has to be like this some days, and one day I hope to find that person who cares about me, and the differences I have. Does any one else feel like they are pretty NT, or can control their ASD? And if there are any artist's out there, i'd love to share some work.

i seem fairly like an introverted NT to most people who don't know me well, but it is hard-won through the school of hard knocks. i like people and have devoted most of my 55 years to learning how to get along with them. i'm married to a person with asperger's who also has learned empathy (ToM) and passes for an introverted NT. we both have had our social difficulties in younger life. we recently figured out the why of asperger's.

i agree that you sound like a normal young person all except for the smoking. most of the folks who are still dying of smoking these days are those who are mentally ill. it is a very self-destructive habit. you should stop as soon as you are able. only 22% of americans smoke. you are in the minority there. i would never date a smoker, because i don't want to die from their second-hand smoke.

Jeez, when I read in research articles that supposedly it takes a few hours for people to realize something is "off" about someone with aspergers/pdd-nos (Actually, the research article said it takes a few minutes) or whatever and I see these reports online that confirm that, I'm going... dammmmm, I must be REALLY autistic or something. XD

(For now, I'm hoping it's merely something. Not REALLY something. Just merely.)

You are very right. I have been giving serious thought about quitting smoking, and eventually I will. I'm not just going to quit cold turkey, it'll be to frustrating, so i'm going slowly about it. But thank you for your reply, I hope you and your wife have a happy life together. Hopefully one day I will find happyness.

Swbluto, yeah, i'm sure it doesn't take a few moments when you are with me, i'm not too obvious, but can be subtle.

I used to think I was like that. Nobody would guess I had an ASD. But the reality is that nobody is surprised when they find out I do, it's like they knew something was off and I'm just confirming it for them. I

Yeah, i'm pretty sure all the people i know know that there is also something "Off" about myself, but I will never confirm it for them, because like I said before, it's not something that i'm proud of.

I got a lot of NT traits, yet I am still socially awkward and therefore not really able to be a complete NT.

I feel NT. But I know I am still not normal but I am normal if you know what I mean. My husband reminds me that I am not normal but he doesn't mean it in a bad way. I worked so hard to get this far.

I believe that I can fake perfect NT for five minutes at a time. I call this "fiving'n'faking" after "giving'n'taking". I can avoid saying anything weird like "fiving'n'faking", or doing anything weird like making one of the facial expressions that I perfected from "Looney Tunes", for five minutes at a time. Beyond five minutes, I have to say or do something weird to reset my brain, if I want to do another round of fiving'n'faking.

I think it has to stand out right away that I'm the opposite of a social butterfly. Mostly I just feel like I lack the spontaneity and improvisational skills that most people have. I'm not sure whether this comes across as autistic or just a quiet person who isn't interested/skilled in making small talk or meaningless banter. There certainly seem to be people in the world who I wouldn't classify as autistic that nonetheless have the same demeanor as me. Then there are certain diagnosed autistic people who are full of social energy compared to me. It seems I may be more on the extreme side of introversion and have all the problems that go with that, which can overlap with autism, but do not correspond precisely.

Yes, for me very much so. I am very social, I'm emotional, and I love intimacy - people in person never think i have aspergers ;P i do have struggles like being clumsy and being 'slow' sometimes, but yeah i sometimes feel more on the NT side.

Well, I passed as "normal enough" for 65 years, just not very sociable, not making or keeping many friends, but I have kept my cousins. Probably only I knew that I _wanted_ more friends than I had. I didn't keep jobs for very long, a year or two at most, but a lot of normal people do that: restaurant work is very high turnover, and so are the other jobs I had. But then, I didn't know about the Aspie/NT distinction for all those years, either. Now I'm retired, and can be as reclusive as I want.

I see, well everyone here seems pretty well-rounded. I'm very intimate myself, but can also have my reclusive moments. I usually make small talk with people at school, the usual procedures. I proceed with my business and carry on with what it is i need to do. I have my depressive moments about myself, but who hasn't had them?

Yeah, when I was a child I had every symptom in the book (literally), but my latest psychiatrist had to ask me and my mother three times if we were sure my diagnosis was correct (as upon meeting me she never would have considered diagnosing me with it). It doesn't bother me; I know who I am, I know my past, and I understand the coping mechanisms I have developed since that make me externally indistinguishable from others.

For me--not even close !

I honestly think I am tolerated because: I'm a hard worker, I'm polite and I'm smart--that's why I'm employable. I've noticed that socially people that like me are ones that are very open-minded to different people or they have autistic traits themselves. I used to be a little self-conscious about this--as in wondering if someone would like me or not. In recent years, I have become very self-confident and if you don't like me, well that's your problem.

I actually had some come up to me years ago, in hushed tones, and ask if I knew about Asperger Syndrome. For some reason, I thought this was hilarious and started laughing (probably inappropriately). They were embarrassed and then I started the long explanation that I really wasn't laughing at them etc.

And I have struggled with other mental illnesses, most notably severe depression, anxiety, etc. for which I have to take medication.

I think people know that there is something different about me, but I'm am self-confident.
It is sad that more people here have self-esteem issues. You really can't change who you are and its up to others to be more tolerant.