What causes you more problems?

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With me, it's people expecting more of me than I'm capable of. People usually underestimate my disability.

If people ever think I'm incapable of something, I strive to prove them wrong. When people expect too much, I break down, or my health suffers.

Ditto. With insult it's catatonia or lethargy, with false ridicule it's angst and stuttering. The hardest thing for me to deal with is the false ridicule, because at least with anything else I'll just pass out and mumble. With being called fake or lazy though it makes me extremely angry and volatile which I don't tolerate so well since I am a peacekeeper who does not like the feeling of impulsive decisions being worsened by others. The thing is my family won't accept my disability until I get to the point where I feel like I'll do something terrible. Any other time I'm expected to reason like a normal person even though I'm constantly convincing them that I can't. It's gotten to the point where the obsessive part of me works against me to try to get reassurance that I never will.

I selected the top one, but I think I should have selected the last one because I feel I have both.

People underestimating your level of disability
The doctors aren't referring me to any help services because I am too ''normal'' to receive the help what other people with disabilities get, but I'm not ''normal'' enough to be able to function 100 percent independantly by myself in NT society without some help (being because I'm too anxious).

People underestimating your level of ability
A lot of people seem to think I'm socially stupid and mildly ret*d, which makes them think they can treat me however they want and I will still come running back to them like a goof. People often muck me around, send weird texts just to see how I will react to them, think I will believe anything they say like I'm 5 years old, take advantage of me, make me do things they want instead of asking politely, and constantly treating me like s**t and assuming that I will put up with it. The problem there is, I know people's intentions but I'm too afraid to stand up for myself so they think I'm stupider than I really am inside. But inside, I have sussed them out quicker than they think, and I'm always right about it too.

Abso-posi-lutely, BOTH. And both to quite a high degree. It's frustrating as hell. For most of my life I didn't have any disability. I was just lazy, stubborn and stupid, which of course caused the idiots who believed it, not to believe I had any talents at all.

Definitely people underestimating my disability, but I don't tell people I'm disabled so I can hardly blame them.

I just wish they wouldn't assume things are so easy for me. I don't show my feelings of stress or frustration very easily so they don't see how things really affect me.

Definitely both. In my last job when I was good I was very, very good. But I made glaring mistakes, social issues up the wazoo, and couldn't maintain a daily routine to save my life. And then the stupid, arbitrary changes. Ack. They expected the same high level of competence all the time, and I simply could not.

In my son's case, he's 6, it's a big problem with people expecting more of him then he can handle. He looks so perfect and it causes people to assume he's just like all the other kids his age, but he's not. I find myself explaining all the time because they think he is just misbehaving.

he's in 1st grade and has already been punched in the stomache by two different kids because he was too much in their personal space which he just doesn't understand.

He was denied help by his school because they focused on speech for his eval, which is BS as people who understand Asperger's know that kids will often have very good, almost adult speech as a young Aspie. He's finally getting a second eval since he's now fallen way behind his classmates, but it pisses me off because he had a great head start before entering his public school. I'd had him in a special pre-school in which he did exceedingly well and contacted our district the spring before he started kindergarten to get things set up for him and they spent 5 min. with him and said he was fine and needed no special help.

I get pretty angry that the school pretty much ignored his special needs just because we'd done so much pro-active work with him and gave him a great head start. Now he's slipped backwards quite a bit and now he's finally getting a second eval.

Very disspappointing.

I'll take another vote for my daughter (10). The answer is both. People underestimate her disability. The school also underestimates her ability. She can't read or write above about first grade level. She can understand 6th or 7th grade materials if she can listen rather than read text. So far they haven't gotten that through their heads. Give the kid audiobooks and a keyboard.

So many day's I wish I had the patience to just home school my child, would make things so much easier!

What is with the schools not getting it?

Have you checked the Parent's forum?

Schools don't get it for the same reason employers, doctors, so on and so on don't get it. They can't understand any other reality than their own.

hadn't found that yet, thanks.

One of my biggest difficulties is people expecting more than I can cope with. Since finding out I had AS, the people that I have shared it with, despite explaining it, do not show any indication that they can understand that many things are very difficult for me. Despite now knowing my triggers I'm just meant to "deal with it" and melt away in relentless anxiety or overload in silence because "you seem so smart".

My level of disability. People assume I am capable of a wide variety of things that I find fairly difficult.

Do you have tips for how I, as a parent, and as a therapist, can better assess my son's and my clients' strengths and weaknesses, respect both strengths and weaknesses, and to know when to push and when to back off in terms of encouraging growth? Would love to hear yours and others feedback so that I can improve in the parenting and also in the counseling that I do.

I'm sure you'll get a lot of tips over in the Parent's section. I post kid questions in this section when I want to know something from an AS point of view. It really helps me understand her better.

It's both for me but more so the first one. Especially now that I live away from my mum they think I'm capable of so many things, but I've found I really struggle to do basic things like meeting someone somewhere or sending a letter via air mail. It makes me feel stupid because people think it's so obvious.

People have underestimated my ability too. My mum did it a lot like she got into this phase where she thought I hardly understood anything and needed to be told before something happens what would happen. The latter wasn't too bad as I hate change but I just felt like she was treating me like a child.

Then there are times when I underestimate my ability. My symptoms can be so severe and impairing one day that I'm surprised I am capable of doing things on days where they are not as severe. When I first moved I underestimated my disability by not preparing for things. I had meltdowns over unpacking boxes, buying groceries, making food, not being social enough, being too social, being too busy and having sudden sensory overload. Now I have to think before about these things before I do anything. I know if I go out I'll have sensory overload even with ear phones in. I know I'll get annoyed and tired while socialising. I know I'll freak out when I run out of food or decide to make something else which usually leads me to a meltdown.
Even with cooking I figured out that I shouldn't multi task because I'm not quick enough. I focus on the details and do things one at a time.