Asperger's in Girls/Women

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How are asperger's symptoms in girls different from guys? Also this may be a stupid question but is embarrassment something people with Asperger's feel a lot, often, sometimes or a little bit? Thanks for reading.

It is often said that the differences in presentation between Asperger's in girls and Asperger's in boys may account for the seeming disparity in official diagnoses, where the majority of people with AS are male. For example, it is thought that because there is a stronger emphasis on social interaction for girls, females with AS may not present the classic symptoms because they have been forced from a younger age to learn how to socialize with their peers.

The differences in presentation may also be accounted for when one remembers that AS was only recognized in 1994, and that the subject pool for the initial studies on AS were all young boys - so, it could be said that for the majority of it's existence, therapists and psychiatrists were inadvertently looking at AS as a 'boy's condition', and the 'classic symptoms' were themselves incomplete or skewed.

Last edited by MrMagpie on 24 Jan 2012, 9:15 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Hi SolAngel,

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

Table 1 on this website has some info:
http://help4aspergers.com/pb/wp_a58d4f6 ... d4f6a.html

Thanks mrmagpie and goodwitchy...I found the chart very interesting since a lot of the characteristics seem to apply to me....sometimes I'm almost positive I have Asperger's... other days I wonder if I'm just trying to find an excuse for being so weird.

I had been skeptical of my status for a long time (I was 'diagnosed' by my mom, and I'm used to not taking those ideas very seriously since they usually come from daytime TV), and reading that chart was the first thing that got me to sit up and seriously consider the possibility.

I'm now reading this website, and it's very insightful and easy to understand: http://insideperspectives.wordpress.com

Thanks for the link

When I first saw that table, I became 99.999% convinced. There's only two traits on the table that I probably don't have.


The weird part for me is, now that I'm older, I've actually learned certain behaviors, like how to look people in the eyes at least for part of the time when we're talking. I was in my late 20's or around 30 when I learned to do this. But I can't maintain it through a whole conversation though. And I'm still working on remembering to smile at work so I don't always look depressed and angry.

I don't think that's terribly unusual, or contradictory to diagnosis at any rate...I have a terribly outgoing social family full of loveable weirdos, and my first long term job was as a waitress, so I picked up on social methods and now I can mimic like a pro. I wasn't able to fully realize until recent months, though, that so much of my behavior in social situations is learned and is basically sophisticated parroting. It doesn't mean I mean it any less sincerely, just that my delivery methods are picked up from other people. I have this tendency I'm sort of self conscious about to unknowingly match my diction, colloquialisms, and conversational pace.

great website justalouise...I can identify with the majority of the characteristics... though I wish there was a sure fire way to know if someone had asperger's or not so I can have some idea of where my strengths and weaknesses lie or either look for other possibilities.

You can try this online test as well if you haven't already, but it's not a diagnosis, just an indication of possibility.

http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

You don't need to register at the web site to get your test results.

I didn't know about diferences, but it has sense, females and males have diferent brains...

Dresses confortably due to sensory issues and practicality
I remember having problems with tight clothes when I was younger, not anymore, but if I feel that the sleeves or bra are uncomfortable I will be thinking on it for several minutes (if I don't change clothes)

Will not spend much time on grooming and hair. Hairstyles usually have to be 'wash and wear'. Can be quite happy not grooming at all at times.
I only 'wash and wear' but maybe is because I have got curly hair and I don't know hairstyles (and I don't like straight hair)

Thinks of herself as half-male/half-female
For many time I've thought that my mind has no sex, but it would be the same than saying half-male/half-female because I'm not talking about sexual preferences.

can be very chameleon-like
I copy some behaviors from people I like, but it's not on purpose, however I've thought about selecting aspects of other's personality to improve mine (I called it chameleon personality, I thought I had invented the term ), I don't think I would lose myself because I see personality like something I have, not myself.

Usually happiest at home or in other controlled enviroment
I'm not agoraphobic but I don't like to go out, I go out when I need to or once a month to keep friends.

Will not have many girl friends and will not do 'girly' things like shopping with them or have get-togheters to 'hang out'
I've never went shopping with friends, when I go out I prefer there is an objetive (like watching a movie) and I've always prefered 24hs anticipation.

Perceived to be cold-natured and self-centered
Once a new girl at school told me that someone had suggested her not to talk me because I'm cold, selfish and egotistical (I don't know why someone said that, I didn't talk with anyone because I was shy)

Prone to temper or crying meltdowns, even in public, sometimes over seemingly small things due to sensory or emotional overload
First years at school I used to cry once a day and I couldn't stop because I began crying for something and then I cried because I was crying, it was a vicious circle , I still cry but not every day, I do it when I get frustrate because I can't do something or I'm tired of doing something I have to, It happens sometimes when I'm studying, when that happens my parents order me to rest. I remember me last year crying for a week because I failed an exam and I was afraid of never passing it, then it happened again with another one, I failed it twice and I cried in public when I remembered it, but I tried to hide it and I went to a bathroom as quick as posible because I hate people who cry in public, when I was at the last years of school I lend an mp3 to someone an minutes later she began to cry because she remembered something and she didn't want to give it back to me until the battery was empty because she said she needed it, she was crying because one of her male friends had asked her to be his girlfriend and she had denied , I needed music to relax but I couldn't get it back because she was crying and I would look like a bad person.

That's how I was too. I think I cried almost every day in the second grade.

EVERYTHING on that list applies to me...a lot. I cried for an hour after reading it. When I think of all the problems I have gone through life trying to overcome, kicking myself because I couldn't adapt, going to therapist after therapist. Even now, I was looking up Asperger's specialists and one of the foremost is a doctor I took my kids to many years ago. To think he didn't say anything to me.

I remember consciously in grade school watching the popular girls and mimicking their behavior to get along with other people. I taught this strategy to my kids as I thought this was what everyone did. Someone just told me that I talk with my whole body and use my hands as a way of controlling the conversation. I even put my hands up to stop them from overloading me. My ex and so many others, not just me personally used to get frustrated because I couldn't keep track of issues that were brought up in conversation. I have to think before I can address a problem. I have to visualize all sides. Taking notes have always been a great tool for me.

The most important revelation this list has given me is how I have eliminated the rages from my personality. In the first column it specifies that we use control as a stress management technique. I shut down (control) now whenever I feel I should be angry. When I become overwhelmed I don't know what I am saying and sometimes the consequences are disastrous the next day. Also, I have learned that just because someone else is angry, that doesn't mean that I have to respond in kind. My chameleon behaviors have taught me to mirror anyone I am talking to. This has led me to wrong behaviors at times. Especially when it comes to men. Now when my bf is angry I just stop. I don't ask him anything because from a past relationship I have learned that this can lead to his turning his anger on me. But my bf will ask me why I don't comment. I will tell him because I thought he was angry. What he doesn't know is that his anger about something can affect me for days. Then I will worry until he jokes with me again. Sometimes I will actually be afraid when he contacts me again. But he always soothes me just by talking normally to me.

Doubutsu, yes, I have all of the characteristics you've listed.

The only two traits I don't think I have from the chart I linked to are - I'm not a savant nor have hyperlexia (I think I have normal intelligence), and I think I'm somewhat normal in the sex department. But I have to be ready (prepared) for hugs, and I sometimes feel claustrophobic during kissing (even though I'm married to my husband for 20 years).

I do have some "touch" sensitivities with clothing and I can't wear wool ever, but my primary sensitivity is olfactory (sense of smell).

Wow, that chart is so spot on it's scary.

hmm not too horrid of a chart, but I don't get the part about females with AS being akward about letting a guy they like know they like them because they don't understand gender roles and it will change with maturity.


sorry but screw gender roles.

From Wing's paper on AS (what AS is of today):

"Same problems" would mean the lack of social and emotional reciprocation and trouble with understanding and showing nonverbal cues. Well, to a trained observer anyway.

It appears that the restricted behaviors subsection is the same in regards to possible symptoms.