Do you ever feel trapped by your limitations?

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Do you ever feel trapped by your limitations?

When I first started browsing Wrong Planet I realised how many other people like me there are out there.

I read comments about how when people knew they had AS and understood their limitations they adjusted their lifestyle and stopped trying to be someone they're not.

Now I understand my limitations. Now I know more about what my communication problems stem from i'm not sure I feel more enabled to live without my limitations, I feel trapped within a large boundary fence.

This mostly relates to relationships with others and work. I just don't seem able to do things that should be pretty simple.

I feel like I know I have problems but I should man up and just do things I don't do well and just go get on with it. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about how unhappy I am because if I took positive steps in my life I should be able to sort m own problems out. No one is responsible for my happiness. Only me.

Problem is I really have problems with my conversation skills. I have no idea what to say to people. Conversations go too fast for me. I can't deal with things when I don't know exactly what's going to happen or what's meant to happen or what exactly i'm expected to do. I used to not be able to describe that. I used to just say i'm stressed. But I know what causes it now.

But now I feel like this stuff traps me and I can't get out. Now i'm getting older I feel I should be more responsible and i'm expected to not be told every detail of what i'm meant to do like a child would. But I don't think I can handle the expectations of getting older.

All the time.

Trapped by my limitations...

...and trapped even within the trap by others' perceptions of my limitations (which are much greater than my actual limitations).

It is as if all I am going to be allowed to be is what THEY say is within the capability of a high-functioning autistic. If I push those boundaries, I'll be slapped back.

Too bad I didn't know that before I went and built a life for myself that an Aspie isn't supposed to have.

Always.

Yes, all the time.

I felt that way as a teenager. I was so sick of being told what I could and couldn't do that I gave up and lived the hippie lifestyle. I didn't know what else to do. I was young, impressionable and I felt trapped. I believed everything that my parents told me about my abilities.

yes, because i cant understand instructions on the job sometimes, and so the first time i went for a job i was real scared, and when i wanted to order from mcdonald for the first time, and i was in my twenties, it was very scary and difficult for me. and when people give me directions how to get places and i dont understand it's so frustrating.
and my hypersensitivity to pain (most pains, some i'm half numb to), is a serious problem. i'm in my mid forties and my father and aunt on my father's side and my grandmother on my mother's side both had cancer, so i must go through the routine checkups and they hurt, and i get anxious and tense and get those aspie stomach aches worse than ever days or even a week or two before! damn.
and i took kickboxing classes and loved it but had to quit because all this running and jumping gave me stomach aches.
and i have an ocd that keeps me awake at night, right now my eyes burn a little from lack of sleep and my breating gets short because of it.
and every tiny, insignificant thing throws me off balance. i get depressed, angry, annoyed, anxious, whatever.
and when i ask my neighbors to stop making noise at night they say it's not them, and i know they might stop if someone else asks them. i just dont know how to make them stop, but an NT would know what to do. i keep comparing the way people treat me to the way they treat other people and i'm been walked all over and my wishes are ignored. and i know it's because i dont know how to play the games people play and dont even understand them.

Yes. Yes I do. And it makes me feel miserable, especially being aware of what everyone else is doing around me and knowing I can't do it. Like I want to go out to a bar. I'm not just wanting to because of peer pressure, it's what I would like to do. But at the same time I know if I did go, I won't enjoy it because I'm too shy to speak up or join in, and so I'll just end up being left out and bored. But I just wish I had better social skills to be able to go out to bars with a pile of mates and enjoy myself. I'm only going to be young once and I feel I'm missing out. But having social phobia, being on the spectrum and being very shy does get in the way of wanting to get out and meet people and do different things, so I consider it a limitation against things I would like to try.

It's like my friend can't eat spicy foods because it never agrees with her, but she really loves spicy foods otherwise, and would eat it if her stomach issues didn't get in the way. So it's the same with me, I would go out clubbing if my social issues didn't get in the way.

It's not fair.

I'm trapped in a world filled with autistic people around me who know nothing of their affliction, and are better off not knowing. Foolishly, I've opened the door to knowing about it, discovered there's no escape and...

What the f*** do I do?

I feel frustrated by my limitations. I think the biggest part is always feeling like the "other;" just not being able to express myself or connect with people. It's very lonely.

I wonder if given enough exposure to your phobias and shyness, that this part would burn itself out. Lilely it would take a huge investment of time and effort, but I myself would hate to be hemmed in.

I remember watching the Dog Whisperer on NG channel, and this guy works out strange problems with these animal's behaviors.

Similarly, I've had some success with unorthodox methods in lessening my social anxiety, and for one I've adopted 'I just don't care attitude'. I say to myself I just dont care whatever happens, happens. If I look like a goon than I look like a goon.

If you can drop the anxiety then the brain is free to move. More bytes to process and the cognitive functions work better in realtime.

I've learned to zone in and control all anxiety even when alone as doing something. The very moment I'm anxious I fall apart and cannot perform-- memory capacity gone-- no grace under pressure. My mind reaches an impasse when anxious --- no working memory-- and working memory is the source of (my) social anxiety.

I'd try to kill the anxiety demon--- it's far worse than having ADD or AS.

I don't know about calling it trapped but I am impaired by my impairments a lot.

Most things that I want to do are those things that I struggle with - but I just can't accept that my ADHD and autism get treated by other as if these condition should dictate what I do and what I like.

I enjoy attending a friend's party although it's hard. I would like for conversations to be as rewarding to me as they are to the others who do not struggle with talking and do not struggle with what to say and how to say it in a way that is understood by other people. Well, that isn't going to happen so I won't wish for it - if anything, I will work for being rewarded with more fun and joy - but I can't make myself think "oh, I'm autistic so I must dislike people and stay away from them because I can't interact with them normally and because I lack the impulse to interact with them".

It's not natural and I really struggle with the "I want to be social" and "I want to talk to people" impulses that normal people have but some of it is fun. I like to think that it this is similar to learning.

No autistic person is forced by nature to learn academics or even to learn writing; nature doesn't force anyone to learn details about art, geography or whatever - and learning might even be hard due to autism - but that doesn't mean that an autistic person can't enjoy doing those things and feeling accomplished, rewarded or just happy and at peace when thinking about what they know because they're learnt (about) it. They might even feel like waning to know more for which they'd need to learn more although it may be hard for them and even makes them uncomfortable.

So, even though at times is is really frustrating and difficult, feeling very unfamiliar and odd, I like being "very social" by my own definition. When it comes to such things, it makes me mad to think I should bend to my limitations as if avoiding it all and doing something else would make me happy instead.

It would feel similar to people saying that it doesn't matter when I'm trying to work out a complicated problem with a high difficulty level simply because I experience trying to solve it as fun (although it is also hard and frustrating at the same time) or because I am certain that the answer is going to make me feel rewarded and that it will make up for the time and effort I put into it.

Sometimes. But I don't let it bother me. To me limitations means unable to and for me I can do them if I force myself to or try harder so it's not really a limitation because I find ways and if people help me and are supportive, I am fine and not limited. If I tried hard to have friends and be social, then I would be trapped but because I don't care, I don't see it as a limitation. To me that is a luxury life style and who needs it?

But I feel it's my learning difficulties and my anxiety that cause me the most limitations and the shyness. But do I feel trapped by them? Sometimes.

I can relate to all of you. I feel very trapped by my limitations, I think I am high functioning Autistic, have always held a job my whole adult life, but I've very sick with symptoms of Autism my whole life, I have always tried to fit in and I have a lot of friends, but I am so different from them. They are healthy and I am not. I am dealing with a very serious situation - my poor health and I cannot discuss it with any of my family or friends. The very few times I have brought it up and tried to talk about it, cause it is on my mind a lot, well, they just can't handle it, they feel very uncomfortable. So I just don't bring it up anymore. I am very grateful to have found this website so I can meet people that can relate to me. Anyway, I am trying to take steps so I can get well. I am going to start the Special Carbohydrate diet, I'm getting my Amalgum silver fillings removed by a holistic dentist and I will start seeing a practitioner to get ionic foot baths to detox my body from Mercury and heavy metals. If anyone can tell me if there is something else I can do to get well, please let me know. And if you could share with the kind of anti viral supplements or any other supplements you are taking, please let me know.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

I am certainly aware of my limitations but I don't feel trapped by them.I try to sidestep them and utilize my strengths.I will never be a social person and I will always struggle in group situations so I try to limit my exposure to group settings. I have most of the things I have always wanted except a good romantic life[I am working on it]but I think most Aspie's will always struggle with that aspect of their lives.

It also make life hard for me on vacations. I love going on holiday, but whoever I go with, they always end up getting chatted up by someone at the bar or getting involved with a group of people, and because I find it difficult to make friends and I don't go on holiday to make friends or get fancied by people I'll never see again, I still feel left out.

My uncle wants the whole family to go away, and my cousins are young adults and all seem to be into, well, you'll guess before I say it, dressing up and going to bars. Even my introverted cousin, who is more into logical activities than activities like drinking and dancing, seems to love going to parties now. So if we go on holiday, they're going to want to go to the bar every night. I would be quite happy to come along with them, there is nothing stopping me, and I will smile and make as much social effort as I can to look friendly, but I'd then end up more disappointed if it doesn't work and other people just pay attention to my cousins and I'll just end up standing near, watching one of them chat up the 18-year-old cocktail waitress at the bar and the other one in a mini-skirt and fancying a couple of 20-year-old lads, and the other one fancying Asian girls (he's always wanted an Asian girl), and they always end up chatting to these people they think they like. My stupid social skills stop me from being able to be part of all this. How can you enjoy a holiday when the people with you are being chatted up?

So I can't even enjoy vacations. f**k you, Autism. f**k you right to hell, I hope you're happy you've made my life so miserable.

yes, and it's frustrating when some people think that just because I am aware of my limitations that I should be able to overcome them or compensate for them socially, and then they end up feeling disappointed when they realize that I can't do that.