who do you trust the most to get advise about aspie life?

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i am really confused on who to turn to to get advise on my life...i have so many aching desires that i feel that i can never heal of obtain, like a partner, real friends, to feel cool and valued by others around me, to be understood, to be successful in life...to be taken seriously who do you trust to make things clear and to make you world understandable? there is no real support for any or us...do you listen to others aspies? your parents of the doctors and scientists?

1. My best friend. He serves as a mentor or counselor for me, voluntarily. I guess he is half NT half Aspie with very good self-esteem and a straightforward personality and a lot of life-skills. 2. My mother. She knows me the best but can't help with many of the issues I have due to lack of personal experience. 3. Therapists / Psychs. A good one can help a lot but I take even the ones who are not very helpful can be of help to a degree.

A friend of mine. Known each other for 9 years and he's an Aspie too.

I find with psychs, doctors, etc. whilst they can give some advice, they can't give advice on what it's like living with Autism.

Last edited by Wandering_Stranger on 30 May 2012, 6:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

To be honest I don't get really any support for it besides the Internet.

Why would I trust anyone else to advise me on my own life? I'm the only person who's actually living it.

Wrong Planet

one of my female housemates; she has a brother with aspergers and is very social herself, even for NT standards.

aside from that, i take bits and pieces from just about anywhere where i see something.
shows like "take me out" and "jersey shore" give me perfect examples of what not to do, where "too good to be true" and "dating in the dark" give me reverse insight of my own behaviour.

besides that still, i go to social skill seminars and courses as often as i can.
i dont get direct benefit from them, but i do learn about the "why" behind many rules and behaviours, which allows me to choose which are the most important to learn, so i can learn those

The most common form of advice that I need is about living in this confusing, chaotic world as an autistic person. Therefore I observe or ask people who in in their own ways managed successfully whatever I struggle with at that moment to elaborate on how they did it in order to be inspired by possibilities.

Basically, for me, advice = learning of many different ways = inspiration to find my own way by building it from the parts I observed or suddenly came up with in response and that I approve of most.

Almost all of the people happen to be non-autistic and the majority are "normal" because these people are simply the people I want to be surrounded by in my life. Friends, family, ASD specialists.

Trust no one I learned that the hard way sadly.

Word.

sorry I don't understand

Only my parents or therapist, possibly. That's it. Don't trust anyone else.

Myself

He means he's agreeing with you. Yeah, I know that's one of the harder ones to understand, if you're not familiar with it. At least it's short! Whenever you see that one, just think of the times when someone posts something around here and another person quotes them, then says "This" or "That" as their response. It's like code. Just make the substitution.

Does that help? If not, I'll try further explanation. Some things are just difficult to make sense of, so it's okay.

For ordinary stuff, one reason I like reading interviews of people I like is that they talk about life as they experience it and what they think about it. That gives me insight, because I can sit and think about what they've said. It's easier than trying to figure out people in the middle of real life situations, where so may people seem to be putting up some kind of a front and obscuring their motives - or maybe just stumbling around in confusion as much as I do sometimes. In interviews of really smart, cool people, they're trying to be sincere and to figure things out. Watch out for those who just want to create a sensation, though. But with interviews, you can sit there and figure out which is which. Again, it's easier than in the moment in real life.

For Aspie stuff, Wrong Planet is great. We aren't embarrassed to be upfront and honest here, and we don't give each other reason to be. I've gotten great information, advice, and insight, all without unnecessary judgement. The worst that usually happens around here is an occasional temporary misunderstanding, which generally gets cleared up if the people involved are patient and persistent, which I've noticed many people here are.

Just keep coming back and participating. This is the only online community I'm this involved with. I could usually take or leave the rest, at best. And I really do mean at best. Some of them are just awful. But Wrong Planet rocks!

It seems like there's not really anything that helps.