Empathy

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I don't know how common it is for a aspie to high levels f empathy for others but I appear to be one of them that does. It is something I've only just recently discovered about myself, I'm not even sure if it a recent development in my psychology. Now this aspect of my personality has brought to my attention.

Do I block what I sense from others for fear of being overwhelmed by their feelings and not knowing what to do with their feeling. I've been a bit socially awkward but not to a dysfunctional level. On one hand I've been told I am completely socially dysfunctional ( ie being dianognised with Asdpergers but on the other hand I have high levels of empathy but not the social skills to take advantage of my great talent. Empathy.

I really am confused.....


Anyone else with similar experiences or ideas how to turn this into a positive ?

I am sympathetic, not empathetic. I have made many choices that hurt people emotionally not due to my will, but due to ignorance of the ramifications of my actions. On the other hand, depending on the severity, I have sometimes stayed up literally all night long thinking about it/sympathizing. When it comes to bad things happening to people I don't know (on the news, in movies etc.) I sometimes sympathize with people I relate to in one way or another, but not just anybody.

IMHO, empathy is the innate ability to understand what your actions will make another person think and feel, and sympathy is more of a logical, autonomous cognition that is more of a choice than an innate process.

I think empathy is hard to measure. Someone who doesn't truely experience empathy won't necessarily know/think they don't.

I experienced a similar realisation earlier this year when being trained to carry out a kind of therapy to reduce anxiety in clients at work. For it to work, we had to rate how anxious we were about something of our choosing, perform the technique and then rate the anxiety again. I was confused, because I know that the anxiety I feel about blood tests/needles (the thing I chose to focus on) is about a 9/10. It didn't come down because I wasn't in that situation; I wasn't really feeling that anxiety, just remembering it. All my colleagues were feeling the anxiety, putting themselves in that situation in their heads and somehow creating that anxiety again.

I think that's the difference; knowing someone is sad vs really feeling that pain with them. I don't do the latter, but am very good at being sympathetic and nice to people when I know the former. I would hazard a guess most people with aspergers are like me in that respect, but most of the time we haven't had the opportunity to realise that distinction.

I've also been really confused about whether I'm empathetic or not. I've always thought I was, since I cry all the time with movies and books, and I can't stand seeing someone hurt or sad because I feel like I can feel the pain myself. I also feel happiness and cry when I witness or read about someone being really happy.

On the other hand, in situations I can't relate to because they don't affect me the same way, I feel coldly dispassionate. For example, if someone I knew got dumped by a badass piece of shite and she's suicidal and wanting him back, I'd be like, don't be stupid, why would you want to go back to that?? I wouldn't sympathise or empathise at all, even if she were to really kill herself.

I think, in a nutshell, I empathise when I feel there's a logical reason for the pain and the person has a right to be sad. But not if the person is being stupid and brought it upon himself/herself.

So does that mean I have empathy or not?

I relate to that ^ also making a conscious decision whether or not I want to "be on a persons level".

I sort of have trouble with empathy, which makes me a bit selfish. Although sometimes I do feel sorry for characters in books/shows because I've been through something like them.

I wouldon't really know about someone who has a lot of empathy.

Contrary to what Theory of Mind and many people say, a lot of Aspies/Autistics have empathy. In fact, many of us have too much empathy! I know I do and often have to shut off my emotions in certain situations. Sometimes I have to stop reading a book or watching a movie because I have too much empathy for a character who is in trouble/has problems. I tend to identify too much with them. The result of this is that because I hide/control my empathy to keep from being overwhelmed, it may seem that I have none.

Its don't believe its a contradiction to be autistic and empathetic.

I have incredibly high levels of empathy. It seems I can pick up on what everyone in the room is feeling and thinking much much better than most people.

However, the way I process all incoming information makes me act very unnaturally in social situations. So ironically I must appear to be a very un-empathetic to others.

Interesting. I think that is the reason why I dont empathize with people automatically irl, thanks.

Person sick = me sick.

I still remember a lady I just saw for some seconds many years ago, who I had to turn my head away from.

I could make a long list.

This has turned into a quite interesting discussion, I MLJT's has a critical point.