Bully keeps ask to hang out late at night

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Joined: 14 Feb 2012
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11 Sep 2012, 2:05 am

Last year there was kind of this gang on my bus. The bus drops us off about half a mile from our houses. These kids always bully me but one day they were just creeaming me with insults. I can take it though since i am use to it. They would make fun of the shirts i wear since it is usualy pokemon. I always have my 3ds on me for street pass in school and when i was checking it on the walk home they kept calling me baby for nintendo or something i just tone those things out. But then they started calling me ret*d because one of them had seen me with my aid or going in to special classes. I was having issues with my dad so i was really upset already that day. This one kid the leader or something kept calling me names. I just tood him to shut up. Then he said thats what i told your mom last night from all the moaning when i was f*cking her. His friends did the sterotypical ooooo that cronies do. I told him to shut up again then i said what was your dad away. Then he came up to me and said he was going to kill me. I rolled my eyes and said you reslly think you can hurt me. Then he said watch me and punched me in the face. I threw my books to the grass and since he was a good 6 inchs above me i worked with what i had. So i punched him in the gut and rapped my leg around his while pushing his chest and knocked him into the grass. I then grabbed my books and ran home as fast as i could. I felt great. When i was younger i took karate and had been in fights before. I told my mom and she called the school. They did nothing so she never sent me on the bus again. I never thoght of it again. Until recently when his "gang" has been showing up ar my door at all hours with being like 2-3am asking if i wanted to go out and hang. I always say no but sometimes they have tried to pull me out of my house. I am really scared since this is still happening. I told the police and the said they would investigate which they havent. I have been so scared to open the door that i bring knives with me to it as more of a self deffence tool than a weapon. This is still goIng on and i am sick of it. I feel if they actually do grab me and try to pull le out while i have the knife i may do something that i will regret. I am just sk scared to open the door. Also if i dont open it they keep ringing the doorbell for 5min then start looking through all the windows. What can i do.

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Oodain
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11 Sep 2012, 2:45 am

put up a surveilance webcam in clear view of where they usually adress you, get them on tape and dont indulge them.

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Chronos
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11 Sep 2012, 2:50 am

Pokelover14 wrote:

File a formal complaint with the school AND the school district and have your parents get a restraining order against these boys. Have your parents speak to the boys' parents as well. If they violate the restraining order and show up at your house again, call the police. If they touch you, file a report for assault. Don't hesitate to take legal action against these boys. Just because you are a minor does not mean you have just as much of a right as anyone else to the protection of the law.

When you file these reports don't minimize the problem. Let them know that these boys have harmed you in the past, have attempted to drag you out of the house in the middle of the night, and that you fear for your safety. If the police fail to do their job then take it to the district attorney.

Hermier
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11 Sep 2012, 11:19 am

Next time they come over, don't answer the door. Just call the police and tell them someone is trying to get into your house. Ask them to please send an officer over, right away.

daydreamer84
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11 Sep 2012, 2:04 pm

Hermier wrote:

Next time they come over, don't answer the door. Just call the police and tell them someone is trying to get into your house. Ask them to please send an officer over, right away.

Yes....I agree. This is a very serious situation.

Canaspie
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11 Sep 2012, 8:00 pm

daydreamer84 wrote:

Hermier wrote:

Next time they come over, don't answer the door. Just call the police and tell them someone is trying to get into your house. Ask them to please send an officer over, right away.

Yes....I agree. This is a very serious situation.

What they said. And get the restraining order too.

CockneyRebel
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11 Sep 2012, 8:25 pm

I agree with everything that's said in this thread.

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Rascal77s
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11 Sep 2012, 8:25 pm

Just curious, when they show up at your door at 2 or 3am what do your parents think?

Alfonso12345
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11 Sep 2012, 9:11 pm

If you severely injure them with the knife if they try to force you to leave with them, then you should have nothing to feel bad about. You couldn't be charged with a crime if it is self-defense. And... if you kill one of them, then the rest will fear you and stay away and the world would be a better place without the deceased bully being alive.

CrystalStars
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11 Sep 2012, 9:21 pm

Alfonso12345 wrote:

Yes, let's encourage that, shall we?

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1000Knives
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11 Sep 2012, 9:48 pm

Hermier wrote:

Next time they come over, don't answer the door. Just call the police and tell them someone is trying to get into your house. Ask them to please send an officer over, right away.

That and protective/restraining order. Do go to the police over this, please. Actually go down to the station, fill out an official police report form. Go to the court house and get a protective order. Keep EVERY paper, get a paper trail in case something does go down to show that you were harassed/threatened.

Honestly dude, avoid going to school if you can. The reason I'm saying this is, by fighting them, you'd likely be the one getting in trouble due to your ASD. It's the unfortunate truth. If you do go to school, you need to be dropped off via car to there and back. They could jump you on the walk home. Lock your doors at all times. If you wanna answer the door, don't answer the actual door, open a window up and talk through the window.

The problem with these NT "gangs" is they're many times seen as upstanding "normal" kids. And you with ASD are seen as weird. So the cops are likely to believe them over you. It's unfortunate.

In the future, don't draw attention to yourself. Self expression is wonderful, but only if you're willing to pay the price for it. I started wearing "preppy" clothes due to this. It keeps people from viewing me quite as differently. It's not "becoming NT" but it's more like wearing the enemy's clothes when in enemy territory. Posture, too, strong posture is VERY important, stand up straight, and when people eye contact check you, just stare them in the eyes until they look away. It shows dominance. Good on the martial arts, but some strength training/bodybuilding could be in order, as again, might is right. If you're bigger and stronger looking (ie, not a blob, or Ethiopian skinny, as most Aspies/nerds seem to fit into those categories) people will mess with you less. With these people, it's sorta water under the bridge, though.

Good luck, and again, I'd advise not fighting these people if you can avoid it, though it's easier said than practiced. As if you fight them/harm them, you will likely be the one getting in trouble, and they'll be the oh so innocent victims of the crazed mentally deranged autistic person.

1000Knives
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11 Sep 2012, 9:49 pm

Alfonso12345 wrote:

Life is not that simple, and there'd be a lot less people in jail if that were the case.

Alfonso12345
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11 Sep 2012, 10:26 pm

1000Knives wrote:

Alfonso12345 wrote:

Life is not that simple, and there'd be a lot less people in jail if that were the case.

CrystalStars wrote:

Yes, let's encourage that, shall we?

I was just encouraging self-defense, which is important in this situation, unless of course a better solution can be found. I certainly do not recommend hunting all of them down and killing them one by one. There is a difference between planning murder and defending one-self.

Oodain
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11 Sep 2012, 10:46 pm

never escalate or increase the risk of escalation, if they come its far better for him not to engage at all, there are plenty of stand off methods above so why endanger life and limb between teenagers?

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1000Knives
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11 Sep 2012, 11:00 pm

Alfonso12345 wrote:

1000Knives wrote:

Alfonso12345 wrote:

Life is not that simple, and there'd be a lot less people in jail if that were the case.

Those people could be very dangerous and if Pokelover needs to defend himself against them to stay safe, then that is what needs to be done. Sure it might complicate things, but I am certain that the defense would have a good case if it came down to a murder or assault trial.

Right, if it does come down to that. BUT, you gotta understand, 99% of the time, things never go to trial regardless of the guilt of parties involved. What the courts do is, they threaten him with the max of a charge, and they'll be like "You could go to jail for like 20 years if you lose..." And then offer a plea bargain of, let's say...3. So then he's in jail for 3 years, with a felony, with his life ruined. Yay. So obviously if it's his life, or someone else's life, or honor (ie they're gonna like rape him or something) then yeah, he's gotta do what he has to do, but it's not something to be taken lightly, and the likelihood is that legally he'd get come down on hard.

CrystalStars wrote:

Yes, let's encourage that, shall we?

A better solution would be the police actually doing something, which if he goes to a courthouse and gets the protective order or does things right (ie, speaks to a sergeant at the department and gets an actual case going) he might. AND, if things were to go down, his ass would be covered.

Ca2MgFe5Si8O22OH2
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12 Sep 2012, 5:07 am

Alfonso12345 wrote:

this is the worst advice I have ever seen.

Oodain wrote:

yes. thank you.

to the OP: stop answering the door. the knife is just making it obvious that you're scared of them, which is what they want. this is about gaining status with each other by demonstrating dominance over you. these kinds of boys are not going to respond rationally to physical threats, and the more they lose face to you in front of each other the more they are going to feel compelled to hurt you however they can. beating them up mildly is going to provoke them more, and beating them up severely is just going to cost you the moral and the legal high ground (which is the best defense you have). they are never going to respect you and they are almost certainly better at the kind of violence that doesn't get people sent to prison than you are, so don't play to their strengths. stop engaging them. talk to someone in your school who knows how this stuff works legally. some special ed teachers have legal training for handling these kinds of cases. tell them you are afraid of getting seriously hurt. if someone on staff with your school doesn't respond promptly and vigorously then you need to find a disability rights advocacy group or a lawyer.

your parents could sue the hell out of the school district if they don't do anything, and frankly I think they should. lawyer up. if no one helps you threaten to go to the local news with stories about how little your school administrators care about bullying. get a restraining order. register a formal complaint with the school district. go above your principal or to a meeting of the school board if you have to. school administrators have a hell of a lot to lose these days if they're seen as tolerating this kind of bullying. if you got hurt or hurt yourself the media would have a field day and the people who let it happen would lose their jobs. they know it, too.

there's absolutely no need for you to respond to them on a base physical level. official channels should take care of these idiots. getting more physical with them is just putting yourself at risk, and will - when it inevitably comes to some sort of legal conflict - reduce your credibility as a victim and make you look like an equal aggressor. I repeat: keep the knives in the kitchen and stop answering the door.

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