One thing about Aspergers that sucks for me

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I always want to know how to make an impact on society. One thing I don't like about my Aspergers Syndrome is the whole social skills and charisma thing when it comes to official leadership and local/state/federal office holding. Otherwise I can just write my influences out in a book, but I feel a bit screwed here. Should I give up on such a dream? And even though I'm articulate, I am told I have a slower-than-average speech pattern. I am willing to learn charisma, social skills and earn money, etc. it just doesn't seem practical right this moment for me.

You cannot learn charisma. And learning social skills is useless for an Asperger. People turn away from me no matter what I do. Yo can only hope to be close to intelligent people because the worst for an Asperger is to be obliged to be together with NT apes.

For me I never understand why I always have more problems to pass time with "low level people". They refuse me immediately. With smart people it takes longer.

I wouldn't want to associate with someone who referred to me as a "low level person" or an "ape".

In the polite way possible, I would like to say you are wrong on both counts. People DO learn charisma, do you think all politicians are born with it? And learning social skills is quite useful for ASpies and NTs.

You can learn social skills and you can learn charisma. It will be harder for you if you're on the spectrum, and likely it will never be fun to do.

You might want to check out the book "Quiet: the Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking". It may give you some insights into how to make the best of a naturally introverted nature, while still dealing with an extrovert obsessed world.

Thanks to acting lessons and speech classes, I can fake charisma and social comfort for a while. I have recover afterward, and if it goes on too long, I pay for it with a pounding migraine, but I can manage.

I guess it also depends on where you are on the spectrum. And you also don't have to master all the social niceties all the time in order to be charismatic and successful. There are a lot of very successful and charismatic horrible jerks out there.

Well spoken. And mostly applies to me, except I don't get migraines from socializing, I have to have a lot of quiet times afterward.

I don't associate with those types, either.

Learning charisma is one thing, being naturally charismatic is another.

Same here with being very articulate which I've been told, shines through an intellectual person. Eh... it's face to face mundane interaction which is hardest for me, literrally having nothing to say... plus a lot of other things.

Politicians do learn about how to "work a crowd" of people and learn about giving speeches, etc, etc. I suppose to a degree they must have something that makes people want to elect them or follow them. They are different ways to make a difference in life and help people. Learning to giving effective and persuasive speeches is often learned and speakers are often coached extensively.

I think it depends on the person. You can learn to incorporate certain things into your personality that people will like, even if you are not perfect. There are people with autistic traits who have been very successful in politics. The one that comes immediately to mind is the current mayor of London, Boris Johnston. Some are even calling for him to be Prime Minister. This despite his rumpled appearance, poor eye contact, clumsiness, and social awkwardness-all of which have been noted in the press. (I first noted that he seems to be an aspie after seeing him interviewed on Top Gear where he just looked like someone on the spectrum to me. Afterwards, I researched it to confirm my suspicions.) Yet, he has been very successful in politics. Likewise, some have also suggested the US President Richard Nixon might have been on the spectrum as well. He had all of the charisma of a wet pair of socks, yet he managed to win two terms as president and almost defeated JFK in 1960! Don't limit yourself. Give life a try and see what happens.

When President Nixon debated JFK on the radio, everyone said Nixon won the debate and when the debate was watched on TV the majority of people said that JFK won the debate. That is very interesting to me.

Nixon had a face and mannerisms made for radio. JFK had a natural charisma that few politicians have ever been able to match. The election was one of the closest ones of the twentieth century. The margin of victory was so narrow that it was all decided by voting irregularities. It was actually very similar to the election of 2,000 between Bush and Gore but Nixon decided that the best thing for the country was to put aside his own ambitions and concede. He felt that dragging it out in the courts would only tear the nation apart and thus it was not worth doing.

if you treat them anything like the way you talk about them, you're an ass and it has nothing to do with being on the spectrum.

social skills are one of the easiest things to teach in therapy. charisma is just an extension of that.

An aspie is not to be therapied because it is no mental desease! I have just heard on another forum that someone tried to change his character during 50 years and in ended up in invalidity and almost in a suicide! What's that for a world that we always try to therapy something only to be nice and to be liked? The world was going on for thousands of years without trying to manipulate people. They were simply accepted as they were.

The persons I have dealt with in the last 12 months really didn't have good intentions to me from the beginning and from their point of view I understand them. In previous years I simply didn't have many friends but I never had serious problems at work. In the current position the assistants want me to tell jokes all the time and to be as my predecssor used to be. And as I am no entertainer and refuse to be one, they complained about me at my boss that I don't talk enough. But when I open the mouth or come only close to them, they turn away!

Who do you think has the problem? I don't accept such stupid social rules where the boss needs to be like a star. I know a lot of people who are not entertaining people but even so they are successful. Either I had bad luck the last year or I better work as a specialist without leading people. As I said, the wish to change charisma, for many people is like a mental rape and ends up in more problems. Energy loss is one of the unimportant ones thereof.

I always thought if any recent President has aspergers it would have been Jimmy Carter because he told the truth about energy issues. Unfortunately, he did not tell what "people wanted to hear" so we ended up with Reagan. I sincerely feel that our energy issues would be mostly solved had Carter been reelected. In the UK, though, you had Winston Churchill who had a stuttering speech problem. It seems that the people in the UK, and even most of Europe, are not as taken with "charm" as much as Americans are. For example, if Mitt Romney wins, it will be because he "charmed" voters.

Mind you that forcing oneself to learn charisma (as defined by the NTs) will come at the price of your mental well-being, especially when you are Autistic. In addition, filling yourself with masking behaviors not natural to you is likely to alienate you from your real (Autistic) self.

Real success is personal spiritual growth and finding your own identity and personal happiness, not the socially constructed illusions of the Neurotypicals, that no concrete factor forces you to follow. Our neurology isn't suited to their kind of social interaction, and therefore attempting to deploy their kind of "advanced social techniques" will, in long-term, be hard, stressing and probably counter-productive in most cases.