Being aggressive

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I am a very aggressive person. But all the aspies I met weren't aggressive, or at last they didn't look aggressive. Pretty much the opposite.
I've always been an aggressive person, expecially during childhood. I began to be less aggressive when I started taking meds when I was 11, and since then I "calmed down" a bit, but I still am aggressive. From one side, this helped me solving my problems with bullies, because due to my aggressivness they've never tried to hit me, and when they tried, they ended up being hit by me, and then the "bullying" just bacame isolation and teasing, that I don't consider severe bullying forms. But, from the other side, people get scared from this.
I know that being aggressive is not an AS-related trait, since it's not a necessary symptom for an AS diagnosis, but there are any other aspies that are are considered aggressive? And, it may be that I'm aggressive due to my ADHD (combined type)? Or it just depends on my personality?

What do you class as aggressive? I am non-violent, although when I reach meltdown point I break things. If I am stressed and get repeated interruptions from my children (who have a tendency to repetitively question and really go on, [being tested for ASDs]) I "snap at them", and they tell me I'm being aggressive. However, they also exaggerate a lot, which I believe is not because they exaggerate per se, it's because they are hypersensitive (having sensory issues in various areas including emotionally) and see things as worse than the reality frequently. I never look for confrontation and would always avoid it, but will react if pushed too much for what I can handle. So I don't know whether I would be classed as aggressive or not.

Before my diagnosis I was kicked out of the home I lived in because the staff thought I was dangerous to myself and others. My meltdowns, or outbursts as they called them, had gotten so bad they were ready to call the police if I so much as raised my voice. I was not acting like myself at all, I started using language that I normally don't and broke things and was just really hateful all the time at everyone and everything. One night I even pushed my portable TV out my bedroom window on the second floor. The scary thing is I didn't feel remorse for what I did even though I could have really hurt someone. The staff blamed my parents for my behavior, even though I was raised in a very functional and non-violent household, and even told my mother she shouldn't spend time with me any more. They hated it when I was happy about going out somewhere with my mom. I worry that I may really be a dangerous person although when I am calm I usually am very non-violent and friendly. Jekyll and Hyde personality. I may even be a psychopath, although I know the difference between right and wrong and am usually more concerned about doing right. But just last week I had to go pick up a refill at the drug store. My new shrink and I seem to be suffering some sort of language barrier because he has repeatedly not called the store to send refills when I thought he had ,and I would go to the store and discover I had no med refills left. Last week it was the THIRD time that had happened, and the drug store had to call him to send a refill. I started growling I was going to KILL my doctor the next time I see him! I was going to get right in his face and KILL him! Sometimes I feel I have to shock people because they don't listen when I act friendly or polite, but I wasn't proud of my behavior that day. Everyone there must have thought I was a lunatic. Also a few weeks ago I banged and hurt my head on the kitchen cabinet after bending over to pick up something and then standing up, and I punched the cabinets glass, which kind of slid or fell right out and and broke into pieces on the floor. Last night I had another dream about attacking someone and beating them up although I really couldn't do something like that in real life even if I wanted to. I know I'm a walking time-bomb...

I was more aggressive when I was younger, but now I usually just cry when I'm upset instead of kicking holes in the wall, throwing things, and yelling.

lostonearth35 - I'm not violent or aggressive, but if I hit my head on something I end up kicking / punching it too.

My friend and I both have Asperger's. We both have kind of a hot temper, but we're rarely ever outwardly aggressive. We constantly talk about cruel and horrific things we'd like to do to people who've pissed us off, but probably the worst thing we ever did was when we were on the bus together back when we were in middle school. This kid kept on verbally abusing us, so we spit up as much snot as we could on this Gatorade bottle that we found on the floor, and whipped it at his face. The look on his face right after that bottle hit right on target was priceless. The best part was that we never got in trouble for it because there was so much chaos going on that the bus driver didn't pay much attention to what we were doing. Someone else I know who has Asperger's once sucker punched a kid for calling him a fag. I don't think everyone with Asperger's is like me and the other people I know in this respect. We've probably got personality disorders too. Unless someone is trying to piss off my friend or I, they have nothing to fear. I'm not so sure about the other person I know though. He can be a dangerous threat to anyone regardless of what they've done to him.

I am typically non-confrontational and prefer to be passive, rather than aggressive... however, when I have a meltdown, I can become quite violent and scary. Fortunately, those are becoming less frequent. I used to be rather scary on a regular basis.

I'm not outwardly aggressive, especially to relatives and friends but internally, I'm pretty much 0 to Rage in a matter of seconds and sometimes it boils over, especially when dealing with moronic drivers or inept employees. I'm not talking about taking it out on the sad, little employee who's new to the job but the a*holes who give you ten minutes of grief when you try to return something well within the store's policy or the cashier that gives you an attitude because they're only half-way through a long shift and have been fighting with their boyfriend. Anyway , I think I'm generally a nice guy .

I don't think I'm really that aggressive.

I have a tendency to be kind of passive-aggressive I guess.

I get quite angry often but I've never hurt anyone else or tried to hurt anyone else; I usually end up punching myself in the head really hard or something to the point of a massive headache, or I'll hit other parts of my body.

Maybe that's aggressive.

I'd never hurt anyone intentionally.
I've broken stuff before in anger but it doesn't happen often.

I'd say these days I get enraged multiple times a week though, if not every day.

I can seem agressive when being assertive to NTs. Like alot of people here when I meltdown I break things or walls. The person that I hurt I did so because he and his wife piled on my brother. That was not a meltdown situation as soon as he stopped I did to and I still got in trouble with the law.

I'm probably aggressive less than I should be. There's a huge barrier I have to overcome to do anything violent.

I have an aggressive side. When I get very frustrated or nervous people tell me that I look aggressive. I often have thoughts of committing violent acts (apparently it is because of my OCD) but I never follow through on them. I got into a LOT of fights at school - usually when somebody tried to bully me. Thankfully I was stronger and willing to use more extreme means to defend myself than them. In my late teens I used to go out a lot and I used a lot of drugs to cope with my normal social anxieties. I could never have the social life I had then now because I'm not an alcohol/chemical hoover anymore. Anyway drinking and hard drugs can make you really up for a fight if you are already that way inclined and in UK town centres/clubs there is always somebody, somewhere who is ready to start a fight. As such I would get into fights outside clubs and things - every fight I was ever involved in was in defence of myself or somebody else though. In retrospect if I'm honest I probably could have talked down some of the situations but didn't because I was drunk. I reconsidered things a lot after a time when I got my ass kicked seriously; they basically used my head for a football, I was lucky to survive with only superficial injuries. My friend also got stabbed in the face in the same incident; he was 2cm away from getting stabbed in the eye and has a scar just below his eye to this day. After that happened I lost my appetite for fighting - unsurprisingly.

So, I certainly have an aggressive side. I'm not at all comfortable with it but overall it is well controlled now. I am never violent toward people or animals but in moments of extreme frustration I might hit a door or something. I know which situations are likely to make me feel that way now and I actively avoid them. I rarely go out drinking to bars and never to clubs now - as much as drink and drugs made me more able to socialise it wasn't a worthwhile trade-off at all. I would still fight to defend myself or somebody else if it came down to it - I grew up in a very rough area so I had to from a young age. In fact my drunken ass of a friend decided (without permission) that he was going to drunkenly wrestle me last night; we were separated when I grabbed and tried to twist his testicles lol. I don't like people getting in my space uninvited :p

edit: Overall I strive toward being a kind and gentle person though. I don't always succeed but that is the ideal I *try* to realise.

edit again: ...and I haven't been involved in a for-real fight for many years now. My attempts to avoid volatile situations are now completely successful.

I guess, if you talk or otherwise interact with me during a full-on meltdown, Imight be aggressive, but that's a big maybe. I might just completely ignore you, or try to get away from you.

Otherwise, I'm actually pretty passive and docile.

I'm not sure if this would be considered aggressive or not. I had a lot of bad meltdowns as a kid where I would scream & yell & fuss & occasionally threw things; it was partly because I was kind of hypersensitive & I often misperceived things or I was stressed out & overwhelmed & I was picky about my routine & what I liked & disliked. I get upset easily & I can be argumentative & get kind of b!tchy when I feel I need to stand up for myself. I'm usually passive with life & others thou & kind of senstive.

Absolutely not violent. Even a meltdown will lead to self-injury at the very worst. If grabbed during a meltdown, I will try to get away rather than lashing out physically; if I hit someone, it will be because I happened to flail in their direction, completely unaware that they occupied that space. I tend to seek non-violent solutions to disputes, as well. My little sister is the last person I had a physical fight with. We were evenly matched, if I remember correctly.

How much of this is my personality and how much of it is just the advantages of the female hormonal system, I don't know. Guys seem to have much more trouble reining in their aggressive urges.

Other: Intellectually aggressive.

People might have physically abused me, but sooner or later they always expose a vulnerability that I can exploit to their detriment, and that vulnerability usually involves some measure of complacency -- the self-imposed delusion that nothing could possibly go wrong for them -- and that is when they are the most vulnerable ...