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Is it really the media?

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equestriatola
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26 Jan 2013, 1:16 am

At my appointment with my shrink today, I came to realize what the primary reason I do not have a GF (again, that may change) and my social problems.

1) The media in the U.S. today tends to sensationalize more on the negative; which in turn.......
2) .....results in many females being fearful of someone like me.

What do you think? I think this may explain why some people have looked upon me like I am a maniac.


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26 Jan 2013, 1:28 am

I don't know anything about you, aside from the fact that you are a fan of the 80s game show 'Press Your Luck', judging from your signature. :D What makes you think some people look upon you like a maniac?

Along these lines of discussion, I caught a few minutes of American Idol last night (just happened to be on), and one contestant described himself as "socially awkward". The judges described him as "seemingly dark, strange, but cool":

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/tv ... 9048.story

With that in mind, I wouldn't doubt that the media plays at least some role in what is and isn't considered socially acceptable.



equestriatola
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26 Jan 2013, 1:42 am

I think it's because they sensationalize stuff like rape, is what I am getting at. The social awkwardness and them thinking I'd do such a thing perpetuates this.


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equestriatola
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26 Jan 2013, 9:47 pm

I'm just also saying that our fearful society today is just the cause of my social problems, as well.


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2wheels4ever
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27 Jan 2013, 12:20 am

By the time I was a teen I was already getting rejection signs and by the time all the plumbing was functioning the TV and radio were full of "sexual harassment this, all men are rapists that" so much that it caused me to avoid expressing any interest whenever I was even in a gender-balanced situation to begin with.

It's our nature, compounded with tales of electronic marytrdom - it doesn't help when a story about a 3rd grader being expelled from school for hugging someone goes nationwide


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equestriatola
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27 Jan 2013, 1:10 pm

2wheels4ever wrote:
By the time I was a teen I was already getting rejection signs and by the time all the plumbing was functioning the TV and radio were full of "sexual harassment this, all men are rapists that" so much that it caused me to avoid expressing any interest whenever I was even in a gender-balanced situation to begin with.

It's our nature, compounded with tales of electronic marytrdom - it doesn't help when a story about a 3rd grader being expelled from school for hugging someone goes nationwide


So I guess quite a few of my social problems aren't of my doing.......


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equestriatola
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27 Jan 2013, 6:53 pm

It's just sad, I think how today's society is, I feel.


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27 Jan 2013, 7:34 pm

I hate to hear stories like this, I can't stand suffering. Even if it is probably unknowingly caused :/ Here in the UK there's a lot less of it about. Like, when the Connecticut incident happened, I don't recall hearing anything about the perpetrator's mental state on TV. I found out it had been mentioned through the internet.
Mind, when I heard AS was suggested as a cause for the attack, I damn near exploded. Why would a disorder characterised by lack of social skills, not emotional empathy, cause a man to kill children? In my eyes, I can't see how it possibly could.


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27 Jan 2013, 7:50 pm

The problem is, what is wrong with being a maniac? You say you're afraid of people thinking you are one. I think I can understand your position. I'm at least trying to. Yet today so many people are stigmatised. That seems to me the key problem. Where's the tolerance?

Love is love is love. If I met a woman tomorrow who assaulted me and was a maniac, I might initially call the police. Yet if I loved her, which is possible, I'd drop the charges and want to be with her. Even if she raped me, if I loved her I'd stay with her.

I'd be very upset and traumatized. It'd take time to heal. Yet I still think the bottom line is, love is love is love. It can overcome anything. People who don't understand that don't feel it.

It's also possible a woman could assault and rape me who I did not love. In that case, I would be very scared of her and want to get away. Yet what I'm saying is each case has to be judged on its own merits. There are no blanket rules that apply. No particular kind of person is worth avoiding.

The media are trying to make us all scared of each other and feel ashamed of who we are. They want us to feel guilty about anything bad we've ever done, no matter how small or how little we realised what we were doing.

Becoming very cautious and giving in to fear the way a lot of people do is surrendering your humanity. It's for the Gods to judge us, we're mere mortals.



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27 Jan 2013, 8:55 pm

equestriatola wrote:
At my appointment with my shrink today, I came to realize what the primary reason I do not have a GF (again, that may change) and my social problems.

1) The media in the U.S. today tends to sensationalize more on the negative; which in turn.......
2) .....results in many females being fearful of someone like me.

What do you think? I think this may explain why some people have looked upon me like I am a maniac.


This makes zero sense.

You dont have a gf because of your "social problems"- that you and your shrink agree on.
That much I follow.

But then you make two leaps that dont follow logically: first that - your social problems cause you to not have a gf BECAUSE ladies think that you are "dangerous". And then you make the further leap that they think that you're dangerous because "of the media". But then you back track and well- "maybe it isnt the media".

Maybe your 'social problems" bar you from getting a gf because ladies just think you're a dork and just are not attracted to you (and maybe they would be attracted to you if you were a little more socially polished). And that it has nothing to do with them being afraid of you. And the 'media' doesnt have anything to do with it.

Where is this evidence that women think that you're anymore dangerous than any other guy?



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27 Jan 2013, 9:00 pm

Pianist wrote:
Love is love is love. If I met a woman tomorrow who assaulted me and was a maniac, I might initially call the police. Yet if I loved her, which is possible, I'd drop the charges and want to be with her. Even if she raped me, if I loved her I'd stay with her.

I'd be very upset and traumatized. It'd take time to heal. Yet I still think the bottom line is, love is love is love. It can overcome anything. People who don't understand that don't feel it.

Stockholm Syndrome much?


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27 Jan 2013, 9:01 pm

Pianist wrote:
Love is love is love. If I met a woman tomorrow who assaulted me and was a maniac, I might initially call the police. Yet if I loved her, which is possible, I'd drop the charges and want to be with her. Even if she raped me, if I loved her I'd stay with her

I feel the need to point out that for a lot of people, rape is an inexcusable, unforgivable breach of trust, one that their relationship can never recover from. It doesn't mean that they didn't, at one point, love the person who violated them.

Anyway, I agree with naturalplastic. I find that media tends to reflect society, not the other way around.


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27 Jan 2013, 10:09 pm

Pianist wrote:

Love is love is love. If I met a woman tomorrow who assaulted me and was a maniac, I might initially call the police. Yet if I loved her, which is possible, I'd drop the charges and want to be with her. Even if she raped me, if I loved her I'd stay with her.



I hear you. I myself am a sucker for unstable women with large kitchen knives. What can I say, I'm an adrenalin junky.



equestriatola
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28 Jan 2013, 6:00 pm

Pianist wrote:
The problem is, what is wrong with being a maniac? You say you're afraid of people thinking you are one. I think I can understand your position. I'm at least trying to. Yet today so many people are stigmatised. That seems to me the key problem. Where's the tolerance?

Love is love is love. If I met a woman tomorrow who assaulted me and was a maniac, I might initially call the police. Yet if I loved her, which is possible, I'd drop the charges and want to be with her. Even if she raped me, if I loved her I'd stay with her.

I'd be very upset and traumatized. It'd take time to heal. Yet I still think the bottom line is, love is love is love. It can overcome anything. People who don't understand that don't feel it.

It's also possible a woman could assault and rape me who I did not love. In that case, I would be very scared of her and want to get away. Yet what I'm saying is each case has to be judged on its own merits. There are no blanket rules that apply. No particular kind of person is worth avoiding.

The media are trying to make us all scared of each other and feel ashamed of who we are. They want us to feel guilty about anything bad we've ever done, no matter how small or how little we realised what we were doing.

Becoming very cautious and giving in to fear the way a lot of people do is surrendering your humanity. It's for the Gods to judge us, we're mere mortals.


What I am getting at is the American media's emphasis on negative stuff in turn causes a fearful, not-so-alturistic society that looks upon me like I am Casey Anthony.


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Chloe33
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29 Jan 2013, 11:12 am

equestriatola wrote:
At my appointment with my shrink today, I came to realize what the primary reason I do not have a GF (again, that may change) and my social problems.

1) The media in the U.S. today tends to sensationalize more on the negative; which in turn.......
2) .....results in many females being fearful of someone like me.

What do you think? I think this may explain why some people have looked upon me like I am a maniac.


IMO, the media is a mess although i wouldn't blame lack of a gf on that. I doubt a lot of females see negative things associated with Aspergers in the media a lot and pay attention to that alone.

If you are trying to meet girls online and in public is good. My gf and i know a lot of females and they judge people as individuals, they would not judge someone by their diagnosis. Past friends have been the same, look past the diagnosis and any quirks is fine too.
Sometimes its just the matter of finding the right person, and when you do it will be worth it.

People have looked at me like i was nuts in the past however, it's possible maybe i had a weird look on my face and didn't realize.. i don't know.

What i do know is that those who know you and love you for who you are and accept you are good ones.



equestriatola
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29 Jan 2013, 1:15 pm

Thank you, chloe33.

I sometimes feel like girls who don't get or just hate me put bounties on my head! It's so distressing.....


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