Gender double standard and Autism

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In our society, it is acceptable for women to be shy or introverted, but not for men. An introverted woman is simply considered shy, while introverted men are considered weird and creepy. That is why Aspie men struggle much more than women do. %80 of individuals diagnosed with AS are male. This doesn't mean that most Aspies are male; just that it isn't recognized often in women, because they don't struggle as much as men do.
This can be seen in the TV show Bones: Both Doctor Brennan (female) and her assistant, Doctor Attey (male), are highly intelligent and struggle with understanding social norms and formalities. The difference is that Doctor Brennan (the woman) is still well liked and often a romantic interest for men. While Doctor Attey (the man) is often regarded as weird and always ridiculed by women. The difference is that one is a woman and the other is a man.

I call BS I am female and was not simply seen as shy, I got picked on/ostracized all the time growing up and I can't come off as 'normal' even if I try. Its not a competition, It depends on the individual how much autism effects them and how not whether they are male or female. The autistic males have it harder theory isn't based in reality.

Also you cannot base who its harder for on a t.v show in which you assume two of the characters have autism. Sorry but gender does not determine how severely affected an individual can be with autism.

I agree with SweatLeaf.

The counter example for TV shows is: Doc Martin, a very funny british show where Doc Martin has quite obvious aspie traits.
He is the sole doctor in a small seaside town, except for the change in gender, and situation, he is very much like Doctor Brennen in the way he is seen and appreciated.

TV characters are written to fulfill a role and attract interest, reflections of reality are not that important.

I think that in our society, males being a bit shy and weird is quite acceptable, and its harder for women as they are expected to be more social and conform. This view is supported by the differences in diagnosis rates between the sexes.

Cheers

Galvatron, I'm guessing what you say is true, but that hardly means aspie women don't suffer too. Sweetleaf's experiences are a case in point. Women are a little different from men, and their suffering will accordingly be a little different. But that hardly means they suffer less.

I was recently involved in a thread on here the gist of which was that women suffer more because they are diagnosed less often, which I disagreed with too.

As far as basing your opinions on TV, TV is hyperreality, and should be watched for entertainment purposes only, if even that.

Rather than dividing us with stuff like this, we need to work together. Getting into squabbles over who suffers the most does nothing but stir up resentment and mistrust.

I agree with Sweatleaf. I have been ostracized and teased most of my life for being a shy "anti-social" female. There is a long literary and film tradition of the "strong, silent man." Women are assumed to be more socially interested and adept, so when we are not, we are defective. Women are also far less likely to be diagnosed and get treatment at an early age.

I think every person's experience is different. My mother scolded me constantly for being shy and forced me into social situations constantly as a child. She was convinced something was wrong with me because "girls are social." My brother is a social butterfly, and my mother often commented that she thought he was spending too much time with his friends.
I think she would have been happier with us if we could have combined into one child.

I'd like to counter that as a woman I'm expected to have superior social skills. I'm supposed to understand all the subtle niceties that go along with social interactions, especially in groups. I can't count the number of times I've seen an expectant look from a person looking for....some type of action/reaction from me when I may be the token female of a group. I can't intuit when someone needs/expects something unless they ask. I don't bond with the gals in the kitchen because it's either an unfamiliar setting, or I just plain can't handle other people on top of me.
Women are expected to make nice and chat with others, I believe more so than men. I can do this in a limited manner, but not always. I might not even recognize you.
The guys seem to be focusing on issues with romantic approaches, but I'm referencing daily occurrences when I have to deal with people.

I also agree with SweetLeaf. Women are supposed to be social and bubbly while weighing less than 140 lbs. I'm anatomically female, but the reality is that I've felt very male on the inside and it shows on the outside. I have a very solid and sturdy build, I speak in a deep combination of a Cockney accent and monotone. I've had the accent and monotone my whole life and I've trained myself to speak with a deeper voice than what people would expect from a younger female. I refuse to speak like a Valley Girl with every sentence sounding like a question, because I detest being spoken to in that manner. I also don't feel the need to squeak to my family about every little thing that's going on in my life. I also get the creeps and feel gross down there when people call me Miss, lady, woman, madam and girl. Don't tell me which way to be, society! I'll be the person that I wish to be.

Oh, another "autistic men suffer more than women because of my ignorance about autistic women's experiences" thread.

Also, Doctor Brennan is well-liked because she's written that way as the star of the series. TV shows aren't real life. They're scripted stories driven as much by "dramatic necessity" as they are by anything.

Women are not diagnosed in large part because:

* Professionals do not know how girls present, so only the most obvious cases get diagnosed (and often not even then).
* Professionals do not take girls seriously when referred for an autism assessment.

Autistic traits are not feminine traits. I mean, as horrible as the basis for his theory is, Dr. Simon Baron-Cohen had to come up with the "extreme male brain" from somewhere when he was trying to find a broad descriptor for autism.

Also, don't speak for other people's struggles. Your struggles are real and valid and important and you should not be neglected. But we're not in a competition over who has it worse - and really, who would want to be in such a competition? You don't know what it's like for autistic women (never mind the assumption that autistic women as a group share a singular experience of being autistic - this is no more true for women than it is for men). Stick to your issues, don't try to talk over people and tell them what you think their issues really are. You are virtually guaranteed to be wrong because you do not have the perspective to make that judgment.

Thanks, Ver ... testosterone poisoning was distressingly imminent before you got here!

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or serious, but I am okay with either.

Very well said, Verdandi.

Love your profile picture too. Reminds me of a cat I used to have.

Serious, V ... serious.

That's Miss Kitty Fantastico, who appeared in the fourth season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I think she was in all of two episodes.



Ah, thanks.

I thought that's who it was! I Buffy. Willow and Tara are my favourite characters. And Spike. And Giles and Anya. Well, they are all my favourites.

The picture is from the dream sequence at the end of S4.

And yeah, I love Buffy. I haven't watched the series in a few years, because I've tried this thing where I watch new TV shows instead of rewatching the old ones over and over again, but I will be getting back to it.