What's so wrong with saying you want severe autism?

Post Reply New Topic

Please, leave your emotions at the door.

I know what people with severe autism go through. I know they can be abused and not be able to talk about it.

But I deal with anxiety and depression, usually triggered by talking to other people. Sometimes I'd take blissful ignorance over intelligence.

I'm looking at this practically. I'm still not that good at getting along with people. My isolation can give me crippling depression. Isolation in the sense that I can't reach out to the people I want. I've been unemployed for way too long. I've never had a job. I hate my living situation. I'm sick of crippling anxiety and thinking up crafty ways in which to kill myself.

People are just so emotional at times. They think you deliberately mean to insult them. I've also had a mixed mood episode today.

I don't always want to have a worse disability too. I just get sick of people saying I'm fine.

I wonder why suicide, or the thoughts of suicide, is so common with those of us on the spectrum?

When you think about it, if someone gets diagnosed as autistic or Asperger's, a plan should automatically be put in place to prevent their suicide.

It's a horrible existence and a horrible way to live, yet many of us are crippled by the thought every day.

Every day I wake up I think, "Maybe today's my final day."

I don't know.

It would sure be nice to be happy once in a while.

Fat chance, huh?

You could hit yourself in the head with a hammer until you lose about 40 IQ points or so.

That'd be the same thing then.

I have bipolar, or something similar. If I didn't I'd probably be less suicidal.

I have considered a lobotomy. I could probably get one for seizures.

But I don't really want to be severely autistic. I just wish my highly anxious thoughts would shut up sometimes.


The whole exchange is make me laugh now though. I just admitted ignorance. I'll see how this plays out.

it is true. i am a lot happier than most members on wrongplanet.net.

the only thing i really complain about is not having a boyfriend.

I think it's human nature to feel disgusted someone would want a disability or be more severe. How many people get disgusted about people who make themselves sick and ill for attention and sympathy? I do feel sorry for these people because it's also a illness they have and it's not like they decide one day they are doing to start injecting themselves with things or making themselves have infections and keep their wounds infected. These people also have a condition too, it's called Munchhausen syndrome. especially people out there that fake cancer or fake other disabilities also have an illness. I do feel disgusted at these people too but at the same time I also feel sorry for them.

Someone saying they want to be severely autistic or wish they were, I think it's a rant they are doing because they get frustrated in life and from the misunderstandings. I used to wish I was ret*d.

The assumption here is innocence is bliss but how do we know that a person that appears low function, low intelligence does not know everything that is going on but are just are unable to communicate it like Carly the teen autism rights advocate who did not communicate for 14 years?

I don't think that it actually works that way.

Being more severely autistic would mean that you would be lower functioning in the world than you are now. But it wouldnt necessarily mean that you were less aware of your lack of functioning. You would be painfully aware of your disability. Even people with downs syndrome- who are retarded-but are not on the autism spectrum-are usually aware that they are different from everyone else around them. So-ignorance isnt necesarily bliss- and you wouldnt even get any real ignorance in the bargain anyway.

It's partially understandable. There are less support for higher functioning autistic people.

I don't know why people take it so seriously when you say it when you're frustrated. League Girl is right. It's a vent, or a rant.

It makes me laugh that people think it's a definite choice (or that's how I interpret emotional replies).

I don't understand why people get that upset over it. I guess it will take along time to feel why people are acting that way.

Basically I think the person who erupted at this other person for saying that, was because of how she felt about the person's HFA child in particular. A big group of these people basically were commenting on how mild these children were, i,e they don't have it as bad as severely autistic kids...Someone even said some BS about how making excuses for ADHD and autistic kids being violent is the reason why they are over represented in jails. It's just ignorance, really. People don't all end up in jail because they were out of control kids. There are many other variables.

I just can't stand people that say I have a better life for being so mild, which isn't a very good way to measure autism anyway. I'm sure I'd have a sh** life either way.

What if I said I wanted to be NT? No one would bat an eyelid, even though NT's can have difficulties too.

Anyway, I have avoidant behaviour. It's a part of me I can't escape. I'm just sick of living this whole BS life.

And now I don't care for this anymore.

Actually, scratch all that. I think the real reason I said it because I've given up on life.

Never recovering from mental issues that mostly affect social relationships. Never getting a job. Never overcoming my fear of change. Always failing socially.

I just give up.

The whole thing makes me feel uncomfortable.

So, I said something wrong...the way people chose to deal with me was nothing short of bullying.

To say "I wish I had severe autism"... I actually kind of get that.

The people with less-obvious autism, without intellectual disability, able to pass as NT for short periods, able to talk most or all of the time, maybe even able to keep a job--it's got difficulties that the obvious, visible autism doesn't have. It's an invisible disability, or at least invisible enough that people don't immediately see it as a disability. It's like, if you don't know somebody is blind, you might get mad at them for bumping into you. You're less likely to have gotten a timely diagnosis and appropriate treatment. You're more likely to have been pushed toward "normal". You're more likely to have bought into the idea that "normal" is the only good way to live. Instead of being in a segregated classroom (which has its own problems), you have to go through a mainstream classroom.

If I had more severe autism than I do, people would believe me when I say "I can't". They'd believe me when I said I needed help, or that I really didn't understand something. They'd be less likely to try to push me to pass for normal if it were obvious that I could never do so.

But on the other hand, people with obvious and severe autism have their own problems too. Abuse by carers. Being overlooked, shut up, neglected, talked over like they're not there. Having it assumed that they don't have minds or personalities. Being denied the opportunities that some of us can access precisely because we don't "look too autistic".

I've had experiences from both sides of that visible/invisible divide, and I've come to the conclusion that neither group really has it better than the other. Most of the problems both groups face are actually two sides of the same coin. If they assume that disabled people are fundamentally incapable, then that means that people who don't seem disabled can't be given any slack for their disabilities, and people who do look disabled can't be given any credit for their abilities.

Sometimes you get both at once, which is doubly irritating. I was once given a case worker because I am really bad at handling the more complex parts of caring for myself, including organizing appointments and having a schedule. She dropped me from her schedule because I kept missing appointments. I mean, seriously?!

Part of why I call myself "Autistic" rather than "Asperger's" (aside from the part that PDD-NOS is probably the best label for me) is that I want the people who work with me to remember that my disability is real, that I'm not just a nerdy introvert who's doing all right, really. It means I have problems taking care of myself, keeping track of things, dealing with the world around me in terms of both sensory and cognitive processing of information. I'm nowhere near the stereotype, and my biggest problems are nowhere near the "I can't get a date" and "I keep being rude by accident" that are apparently the problems Aspies are supposed to have. Mine are more like, "I can't get myself to bed," or, "I can't stand having hair," or, "I think I forgot to pay my bills. For the last five months."

I guess that's part of why I never liked AS as a specific diagnosis. It's almost trivializing it to say Asperger's, because that just makes people think you're some kind of smart, nerdy, socially awkward person who's probably going to make a fortune programming computers. AS is a real disability and it's a kind of autism, and we shouldn't have to beat ourselves up about not being normal or not being that inspirational genius success story. We should be allowed to really, really suck at things, and not have anything to make up for it, without anybody looking down on us.