Acting formal as a way to compensate for social skills

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I have realized I have used this technique to compensate for my "lack of" social skills (i.e. NT social skills).

I become formal in speech and written e-mails because it makes it possible for me to communicate without getting involved in the NT-synergy.

Not being able to communicate with others is seen as immature, so acting formal is a way of seeming more mature socially without getting hurt integrity-wise.

Does any of you recognize this tendency of being formal to deal with social requirements in relation to being independent?

I do this all the time. I use 18th century formality because I have read so many books about the Founding Fathers of America. I particularly found George Washington to be very interesting; he wrote a book called “110 Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior.” I have read it many times. I wouldn’t really recommend it thought because most of the rules are clearly out of date though the spirit of them still applies. It makes me appear somewhat aloof and professional which actually works great for me because of the nature of my job.

The "upper crust" relies heavily upon scripted behavior that is highly formalistic. This is because they have much at risk if they are seen as uncouth or even gauche.

There was a comedy film called, "New Leaf" where Walter Matthau is describing his romantic prospects to an uncle by saying, "I can engage in any romantic activity with an urbanity borne of disinterest".

What the OP says is very true. I tend to be like that, too. I would probably just look stupid if I didn't behave in that way. I still do look odd/weird though.

Yes.
I've considered that a monotone voice might help me as well, since it seems far too many people have issue with the tone my voice some times takes on - they tell me it is angry or happy or whatever, when I am usually feeling the opposite in my head (sometimes even verbally expressing the opposite).
But I could never do it. Monotone, it seems, is beyond my abilities.

I rely on formal polite. But I don't have a monotone voice, I tend to put feeling into my speech. So higher voice for friendly with someone standing at a bus stop next to me, lower when in a more formal situation or being very serious.

My manners or mannerisms remain the same for each person though as does the way I interact with them (the chit chat I choose which is pretty much just answering any questions they ask me and using the smile and nod when I don't know what else to do).

Sometimes I say stuff and people find me funny. I like that. I made them laugh.

As long as they are not mocking me as a way of bullying, that is different. I don't like that at all.

I like making funny quips about things. Today I was making funny quips to the seagulls at Cromer but I don't think they appreciated my humour. They just squawked and dive bombed at me when someone threw some chips on the floor.

Blimey some of them are big bruisers. I call them beach bouncers as they keep chasing the smaller birds away lol

At least a good thing to know I am right that I do this because of the Aspergers.

What bothers me is that the professionals think we do this because there is something wrong about us.

I do not do it because I do not know how to interact/communicate the NT-way, but I DO NOT WANT TO IF I AM NOT TREATED PROPERLY! It hurts me when they attack me personally, because they hit my integrity, which is what I live and breath for. It hurts just as badly as it hurts them when you attack their group-synergy. But when you do this it is no longer fun to them.

Talk about double standards, huh?

I catch myself doing this at work when referring to coworkers, I'll say "Officer Jones did this" or "Mr. Smith did that" instead of using their first names like pretty much everyone else, which is even more pronounced a quirk when the person who asked me about Officer Jones or Mr. Smith called them "Frank" or "Vicki". Nobody's ever commented on it so I suppose it's just on the list of odd things Sacrip does.

I definitely rely on a somewhat Victorian/Edwardian formality, at least upon first meeting someone - hence, my choice of avatar.

The only thing there is to say about this is that we do it to protect ourselves - to protect our integrity that means everything to us. So I do not think there is anything weird about it, only from an NT group-perspective.

im pretty formal myself, and i didnt know that was consitered odd before my diagnoses,

im only good at formal introductions, saying "hello my name is Emily Sanipass please to meet you," and a handshake, but after that im not sure what to do, i did it because my mom always told me to be 'polite' >.<

I am not really formal with people, but I don't feel comfortable getting too casual with people either. I am somewhere in between. I don't like for people to show familiarity towards me unless it is someone I know and trust really well. So I tend to put them off with politeness.

I learned the hard way, if I am too casual with people, I get overwhelmed and I can't interpret what is going on with their behavior.

I think I tend to use more formal speech because I want to express ideas too complex for the simple language people commonly use in conversation. I suspect NT's add depth and complexity to their communication through some sort of nonverbal magic instead (well, either that, or they have nothing much to say).

Formality, politeness, keeping a safe distance, speaking few words -- these are good scripts. They will protect you.

Absolutely. Whenever I let my guard down and let myself be at ease around people, I usually always make a fool of myself.

I can't STAND being formal!! !