Rather doing things on your own than in a group

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I would often rather want to do things on my own than in some group of people (friends for instance). This includes eating lunch at a workplace, and that is a real issue. I would rather eat alone and enjoy the great meal in front of me instead of having to converse with others while eating.

I do not like the pressure there always will be from other people in such situations. I also do not like having to act cool so as to give them an impression of good social status/not risking ridicule over the situation.

It is not that I do not have trust in myself to have a good outcome in such a "battle"/competition. But the problem is I consider it an endless battle, not enjoyable.

It always ends up being competitive and not enjoyable, so I end up preferring to do things on my own instead. I know that is considered a "weird" trait seen from the perspective of a NT.

Can anyone relate to this?

I prefer to do things on my own, as well. It's one of the only ways I have the total control that gives me a feeling of security. When I'm invited into a group of people, say, during lunch, and I agree to join them out of a sense of obligation, I end up "going inside my head" off and on, since I usually don't have much to contribute to the conversation and people tend to forget I'm there.

Me, too. I like to eat alone usually.

But here's a question, qawer: if you and I could meet for lunch, would you accept the invite? I would. And then I'd proceed to eat like I always do (like a pig) while we chat about who cares what. Would that be cool with you, or would it freak you out?

I do a lot of activities alone that most people do with people and I like and ever prefer it that way many times.

<--- Loner. Always alone. Perpetually alone. Isolatingly alone. Abject loneliness.

I have a far better time when I'm on my own.

It's just me in my own little world, with my own little thoughts.

No disruptions, no mither no problem.

Bliss!

The only group activities I enjoy are ones where I have a specific, defined role, and I know exactly what I'm supposed to do (such as playing a musical instrument in an orchestra, or sports back in school). If it's not structured and predictable, and it involves socializing... Nope, not for me!

I can't tolerate doing anything in a group of strangers. It would have to be friends, or I simply wouldn't do it at all. Unfortunately, at this moment in my life, I don't really have any friends to do anything with. The handful of people I used to hang out with years ago have all moved away.

Two's company, three's a crowd, four or five is uncomfortably busy and anything beyond that is an unbearable, cacophonous mob.

That would be cool with me

It is when I feel like I have to defend myself during my lunch time I find it bothers me.

I wouldn't mind eating with other people so much if they just let me be me and let me EAT. But they usually don't. They comment on my eating habits, ask me invasive personal questions, and just generally annoy me. I never understood why people want to talk while they are eating. It's so damn annoying when they ask a question just as I have put food in my mouth. Can they not see that I'm trying to eat?! I swear some people do it on purpose.

I never have liked eating with co-workers. In my current job I work alone, so I don't have to, except when we have meetings. Those are awful though because we are EXPECTED to socialize with our co-workers at lunch since that is the only time we see each other. I would rather go off by myself to eat.

I don't like to work with other people because I have to think about coordinating my body movements around what they are doing, and it slows me down. I like to have some space around me.

I prefer doing most things by myself, or only with family or someone I feel very comfortable with.

I've found that I'm unable to taste food if I'm trying to focus on what other people are saying. So I prefer to eat alone. Otherwise it's like eating sawdust while listening to people, and what's the point of that?

Without going into detail, every couple months I help out by picking up some boxes that need to be brought to a group that does community work. (No, it's nothing shady. It'd just take too long to explain.)

At one time the pickup room wasn't staffed very well, and you would just go in, locate the boxes you were supposed to pick up, sign on a sheet, and off you would go.

Unfortunately, for me, there are now several "helpful" people there when you go to get the boxes. (No, I'm not faulting them. They've giving of their time.)

It makes it really hard for me, because you never know who's going to be there, and it's always people I don't know. I smile, use my acquired "mask", try to make a few friendly comments that will pass for NT, take the boxes, and go.

THEN it's time to breathe freely again.

I truly wish those people weren't there, and the place was understaffed again.

I mean, an opportunity to meet new people and maybe start forming friendships would be good, but the experience itself, strangers being there, makes my whole self feel like your eyes do when a light shines in them at night. It messes with any good the experience might make possible.

*sigh*

I prefer to do a lot of things on my own that most people seem to want to do with friends - cinema, exhibitions, travelling, concerts, that sort of thing. For me, it's mostly because I can't concentrate properly on whatever I'm there for (film/art/sights/music) if I'm also having to pay attention to whoever is with me.

Travelling is especially bad, because on top of that, once you're together for more than a few hours, there are so many compromises that need making between what I want to do and what they want to do, and I find that such hard work... I'm no more comfortable making people do what I want than being forced to do what they want, so I'm always uncertain whether I'm being considerate enough or not.

I definitely enjoy doing things on my own rather than in a group (even if it's a group of friends). I always prefer to eat alone as well. At lunch in school I sit on the floor in the supply room in order to get so peace and quiet and pause from the constant overload of impressions. I barely even talk anymore when I'm at school because I've learnt I need to conserve my energy and not put it on things I find unnecessarry such as social chitchat. One classmate even thought I was mute until I responded to a "Hi" once.

I'm sure a lot of people outside the spectrum find this constant pressure on social involvance quite exhausting as well at times and even if they wouldn't, you should do what helps you get through the day even if others might think of it as eccentric. My sister is an NT and she sometimes complains about the "social mask" she needs to put on at work, apparently this is a common phenomenon but it's ridiculous.
This is a cliché quote but it's a good one:

Be who you are. 'Cause those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.

So if you wanna eat on your own sometimes, or sit by the table with others but without talking -then do so. There's no harm in it.
(:

I've actually started to tell people that I'm antisocial, I don't care any more, just as long as they leave me alone.

I don't want to give my phone number out, and I don't want to go for drinks after work, and to be perfectly honest I would much rather sit by myself whilst I am in work.

JUST LEAVE ME THE f**k ALONE PLEASE!

No one can say that I'm not polite though.

The biggest burning question for me is. Do I "want" to be alone or is it I would like to be with a group but "can't". Deep down inside I would love to be a part of a group It just that I am too afraid of being myself in front of others for fear of ridicule, embarrassment or just making a fool out of myself and losing friends(if I can really call them that.). Plus just dealing with the social barriers that come with having AS in general. I guess this is why they called this site "WrongPlanet". I always felt that Earth is not my home.