are aspie women more social

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are aspie women more social than aspie men?
meaning their more likely to go out and socialize,
or do social thing.or is it the same for both.

I would say that is a no.

I do believe they have an advantage in socializing as the female brain is literally wired better for socializing (particularly verbal... they use both hemispheres of the brain when talking while males use just one side... and the % size of that one side is smaller than the female % used on any side).... but it doesn't mean they have it 'that much better' than guys. AS really F's up the socializing capability.

What I mean is,are aspie women more likely to get out,and do social thing,
like meetup group,hobby club,coffee shop,bars,nightclub,stuff like that.

where aspie men,are less social,and avoid doing social stuff.

That's a personality thing not an AS thing I would say.

On the whole, it's possible more aspie women go out than men, especially if an NT boyfriend insists upon it. But they'd still be in the minority of aspie women in total.

I am not diagnosed at this stage and only suspect the presence of an ASD as does my therapist but as a female, ASD or otherwise, you are unlikely to find me wanting to socialise in night clubs. Nor am I likely to socialise for the sake of it, and if i do, its because it is what is expected of me.

Ie it's hard to find a companion because if you don't have any friends or you don't socialise enough then people think there is something wrong with you and avoid you. Society expects women to be social and its horrible!

I mostly seek out a life mate more than I seek out friendships, although I wouldn't turn people I like away as a friend all the same. I rarely find people I can cope with friendship wise though as they seem to need more social interaction than I can manage and they are rarely accepting of my quirks. I think I can come across as a bit uninterested as well, especially when I get engrossed in my hobbies and forget to answer phone messages or emails etc. By the time I get around to remembering I had social obligations I wonder if I have left it too late. I can also get really stressed out and upset if forced to socialise at a time when I am not in the right mode or am too tired. I just don't cope with it at all well, even if i want to be social.

I don't really like to go out and socialise.

If I do go out it is usually because it's a work thing, and I feel that I should show willing. Otherwise I would rather not bother.

In my case, no. I recently lost a job due to "not being a people person". It's true, I am not. I have no business working with people. I suck at it.
So many jobs require chit chat and sharing beyond the level I am comfortable with. I am uncomfortable with the amount of needless lies and amusement at subtle (& not so subtle) cruelty to others. On the tv and in movies as well. These things don't amuse me and people notice my lack of affect. I am confused by an increasing moodiness I see in others too, and a pattern I see in this psychology.
I have a perspective on how beings should be treated with respect, and I am constantly disappointed with society in this regard. Why does my quiet nature make them so uneasy?
So, no nightclubs for me, and very few friends. My relationships are untrustworthy. When others need help I jump in & do what I can, but when I need help they forget about it.
Socialization is a lot of wasted effort for me, although I can make the effort...it's exhausting. I tried it. I've been hurt too many times, so I quit trying.
I believe it's possible aspie women can be more social. I also believe it's possible being more social may put us at higher risk for being hurt, socially.
Sincerely,
A socially burnt out gal

I know I seem to WANT socializing more than the men here want it -

however I am terrible at it when I do it, the other womyn even notice. One even remarked about it this weekend & I explained my problem (she had recognized me from a bar we frequent) fortunately she is a therapist professionally and she fully understood.

All the women on the spectrum that I know are very like this. I can't really add to what you've written as you've said it so well. We would like to be sociable, but end up getting hurt when we try and then feel like it's not worth the effort, so stop trying and find our own little hobbies to occupy ourselves instead.

I agree. I'm not really social. I only left the house twice so far this year and it wasn't for socializing.

+1
Just like everyoby else in the world, autistics can be extroverts or introverts.
Introverts can be both male and female; so do extroverts.
Therefore there are female autistic extroverts and female autistic introverts, just like there are male autistic extroverts and male autistic introverts.
There is no real proof that women can be more extrovert than men. It's all about personality, not gender.
Me, I don't view myself as particularly introvert or particularly extrovert. I am not interested in most people, that's all.

Last edited by droppy on 28 Jan 2014, 6:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

I don't really like pubs/bars/clubs myself to be honest.

I don't like socialising to be honest either, it's too exhausting and too pressurising. People expect so much of you.

I do still go out here and there to meetup.com groups, but it's to try and find friends, which I never see outside of the groups anyway, I still can't bring myself to constantly be social.

I am a female with Aspergers.

I do not enjoy socializing. If I do want to be with others, there is a "point" to it all (to debate a particular topic).

The closest thing I do to socialize is come here.

I am married and I have had 3 different drs in the last year ask "how did you find a spouse?". ...thanks... (For inquiring minds, we met when we were 2 and went to school together. He pursued me for 7 years before we started dating.)

The only male with Aspergers that I know is my son. He is rather social compared with me.

yeah, to address that issue, every person I have ever dated - and every relationship I have been in, I was the pursued. Not easy being lesbian and in a conservative area, it was much easier in LA.

I definitively don't go looking for social interaction irl. I had to tell a coworker to put a plug in it(not in those words), because she would not shut up and starting making snide comments because I wasn't feeling chatty.