Am I stupid?

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The carer here said I'm stupid and will never be independent.

Well that's not right, I doubt you're stupid. I think you should report them and try and get someone else as they sound abusive and they should not be working as a carer for anyone...do you have any family members or friends or anyone that you're in contact with that could help back you up or whatever.

SteelMaiden, I have read many of your posts and I can tell you right here, right now, you are not even remotely stupid and anyone who could tell you that you are is struggling from his or her own issues and is just lashing out at you. Perhaps you might never be fully independent. I don't know your personal situation as far as that is concerned but even if that is the case it is definitely not because you are stupid. I don't know that I could ever be completely independent but that would be because of reasons beyond my control that have nothing to do with stupidity. We might do or say stupid things every now and then but that does not make us stupid. So I would not put any stock in that comment at all. In fact, that carer should be officially reprimanded for speaking to a client like that.

Well I'm being assessed soon for moving into my own flat with floating support from different support services.

I'm going to report this carer to my mental health team.

My friend will back me up.

Thank you btw. That helps.

That sounds great. Congratulations about the move!

Definitely report the carer and what the person said. Let us know how it all turns out.

I don't know that kind of seems to excuse them, having issues doesn't make someone a jerk so not sure its a case of lashing out because of all the stuff on their plate...though I know sometimes people lash out, even so its not appropriate for a carer to do that to someone they are a carer for.

Absolutely does not excuse them at all. It's just that a lot of time when people do that it's because they are struggling themselves. I did not mean to say it as an excuse for the person, just as a possible reason why he or she could be doing that. But whatever the person is struggling with, like you said Sweetleaf, the person can still choose to not be a jerk towards someone else. And it's worse when someone is a professional care giver and he takes his issues out on his client. That is completely unacceptable. Unfortunately it happens all the time but it is still unacceptable.

You seem very intelligent. I hope you get rid of this carer soon.

Sounds like a brain fart to me. It doesn't mean you're stupid but as SweetLeaf said it probably says they shouldn't be a carer. Take care.

I'm not even in school, and I can assure you nobody with an understanding of IPv6 goes on my stupid list, except maybe certain executives I shan't name.

Speaking to someone like the way the carer did to you is BULLYING.

People think Im very severe. I tend to repeat and im spotted for it but I am trying to learn from my mistakes. I suffer from very low self esteem as a result of being treated badly due to my being different and not having a proper job. Yes I have been naïve in the past but Im learning from it. A secondary teacher spotted my aspergers and told me Id be fired from a job within 5 minutes because of it if I didn't tell people I have it and I had an even less chance than NTs of getting work and I would never be in a high skilled job because of my Aspergers.. Ive also been told that id never be able to raise children of my own by other people. People's perceptions of me are really negative. I know I did dumb things like phoning people too much at inappropriate hours and coughing out money to agencies that have conned me. My family even view me as severe. Do I deserve this?

Last edited by maryk31 on 28 Apr 2014, 2:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

That carer sounds like a heartless idiot who should find another line of work. Not being independent due to a disability has nothing what so ever to do with being stupid or lazy or anything like that. It seems unlikely i'll ever be independent, but ever since I started forums lots of people keep saying how smart i am. either they are lying or one thing has nothing to do with the other.

Even if you really were stupid and had no hope of being independent (which you aren't!), that carer was unprofessional and should be reprimanded. Saying such things to people doesn't help them a bit, and could make them feel much worse.

Sounds like something you said or did frustrated the carer and they reacted inappropriately. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. Forgive them for speaking impulsively and rudely and move on with your life.

Ding ding ding, one has nothing to do with the other.

I very highly doubt Stephen Hawking has led much of an independent life considering all of the medical help & attention he must require around the clock, but he's certainly brilliantly intelligent.