Being ignored & feeling invisible

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A new study has revealed being ignored on Facebook can leave people feeling unimportant, ignored and feeling invisible. I don't think it's exclusive to Facebook either. I'm not on Facebook. The only social interaction I have in the world is family, work and Wrong Planet (I really feel like I belong here) but I do know when I've posted here and either get no responses or very little, or when I make a comment (that I feel is really helpful) and the conversation rolls right over my comment with mine being totally ignored, it does make me feel unimportant, excluded and it's a bit of a slap in the chops. It's as if people are saying "What you've got to say isn't worth even acknowledging". Maybe I'm being a bit sensitive but then, I don't get a lot of practice at socialising IRL or online and I'm starting to feel like WP is like an online home - I guess that's why legitimately achieving "veteran" status is so important to me.

I like to think I don't care what others think (and I don't, with regards to most issues and people) but I don't like feeling ignored or left out if I'm in a place where I feel I belong.

I've got to admit, as unsociable as I am, I do like feeling like I belong here on Wrong Planet. This is the closest I've ever felt to belonging and I've got to admit, I do like it. I guess that's why it hurts when I get ignored - overlooked but recently, someone admitted that I helped them and thanked me and that makes it all worthwhile.

It's just the way of this place unfortunately, I wouldn't take it personally.
It has happened to us all at some point or even still happens.
Don't think for one minute you're doing anything wrong.

The 46th reader responded, it is a Monday morning [here at least] after all.

I know what you mean. I've had it happen where I've responded in a thread, others have responded with similar suggestions or similar thoughts to mine, and everyone says "Oh So-and_So makes a GREAT point, I agree, how wise he/she is!" When I said the exact same thing ten replies earlier, and not one person acknowledged that I made a great point, lol!

It's a tiny bit hurtful because yeah, I feel overlooked and ignored. And not just on Wrong Planet but this happens on other forum-type boards. I think it's just one of those things. It happens in real life if one happens to be in a group conversation, and it happens with a similar dynamic on a message board.

Part of it may simply be that people innocently and genuinely did not notice your comment, or that it got lost in a sea of responses. Part of it may be that people who have kind of made friends with each other on a message board tend to clique together and will acknowledge each other on a thread, but not the person they "don't know," or don't like.

Either way, I try not to let it bother me too much.

As for getting to "Veteran" status because of your post-count; that's really not all that and a bag of chips, to be honest. I was surprised to reach that count because to be honest I didn't think I'd want to stick around WP that long. I don't generally feel I have a home here, but that's okay, I still come here anyway because there is information and advice and other people's experiences that help me make more sense of my own and I don't get that anywhere else at the moment. I'm very alone in my struggles with the autism question and I gotta have something to get me through that. It's okay that I haven't made friends or anything -- that's nothing new, haha.

But don't get too obsessed about gaining Veteran status -- it doesn't mean anything. I used to think the Veterans were this noble group of gods who must surely be magically nicer and wiser and kinder than everyone else, but I realized that post count doesn't mean you're any better a person, lol. Hell, I'm "Veteran" now and I still don't know what the hell I'm talking about.

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Being ignored and feeling invisible really hurts. I hang out with my fellow AA/NAers after our meeting and people walk right past me as if I wasn't there. Since I'm no good at small talk I often have nothing to say to anyone anyway. I'm just trying to be sociable. It's hard, though.

I get ignored a lot, more so out in the street. Being ignored online doesn't bother me that much because I do know that not everyone replies to everyone's post, and sometimes people probably do read my post but don't reply. Sometimes it can be a little annoying when you make a good point and would like to see some feedback, but it's just one of those things. I get more annoyed when I post on a thread and I go back to watch for any more posts the next day and my post is still the last on the thread, I'm like ''doesn't this thread interest anyone any more?''

But back to being ignored, yes I get ignored terribly when I'm out in the street. I know to most people here, saying hi to strangers will sound unnecessary, but where I come from I have often been with people who greet strangers as they pass, and when I ask if they know that person they say ''no, it's called being friendly''. I would like to receive some friendly greetings from people too, especially old people who may be quite lonely and would like a smile from a stranger to brighten up their day, but each time I take the trouble to make eye contact with another human and give a smile, I either get a funny stare or they just turn away like I'm not worth it. OK, one or two people doing that and I'll just think ''OK, it might not be their day'', three or four people doing that and I may think ''is it me or am I coming across a lot of miserable people today?'', but everyone I smile to just ignore me but speak to other strangers and I feel like there is something wrong with me. That is the point that upsets me, and most people miss that point and just think it's because I am ''being creepy for smiling at a stranger'' or assume that I'm ''giving them the 'wrong smile' like a big stupid grin'' (which I don't), or people think they are reassuring me by saying ''perhaps they were having a bad day''. Honestly, if anyone says those two words ''bad day'' to me again I think I'm going to kick, because I know that is not always the answer. I have anxiety, I have a lot of bad days, but that doesn't stop me from smiling at someone if they're smiling at me, unless I'm in a real big sulk, which is not that often.

That kind of you made a great comment post is really NT to me, and I don't understand why people would want that kind of acknowledgement as has been brought up in many WP threads when people say that they are being ignored on WP, and I don't understand why people say that they want a like button on WP, which to me is super NT, to have a like button of social acknowledgements devoid of information about the topic of discussion.

This topic is especially sensitive to me. I am often ignored in the real world and the online world. Because of this, I will often act "crazy" to get attention. I used to think negative attention is better than no attention but because of my craziness I often get myself in trouble.

I believe people create their own monsters, monsters come from our negative emotions.

Treat everyone the way you want to get treated. Be loving, kind and caring. What goes around, comes back around.

I get what you're saying. Too bad I only recently realized that in order to get attention you have to show it yourself... And giving it to others is not something that comes natural to me..

I deleted my facebook account because I got upset that only 2-3 people at most would ever comment on any of my posts. More often than not I got no comments and it made feel like no one was interested in anything I had to say so that upset me. My 2 cousins girlfriends would always get around 30 comments to everything they posted, even if it was really boring. I got jealous and upset because I kept wishing I was that popular so I didn't see the point keeping my facebook account when it was making me feel like that.

I understand that feeling, have felt it myself. But I learned to just not worry about it. It's not personal, it's not people thinking badly about you or even not noticing you, so much as being too caught up in wording their own responses. I find myself doing that. Also, when I agree with someone, think they're absolutely right, sometimes it feels lame to just say that, "Hey, I agree with you," and nothing more, in fact some online discussion forums frown on posting just to agree with someone, so I often say nothing to the person I agree with the most.

Life is mostly being pretty much alone with one's own thoughts, I find. It can feel lonely, but I wonder if that is just something we learn from television and the Internet, which make us think it's supposed to be otherwise, that our thoughts, feelings, or opinions are supposed to count for something with people we don't know.

Aside from that, sharing opinions is pretty much worthless, when you think about it. The most value I get from posting what I think or believe is the act of figuring out what I think about something, for myself. Nothing I post, or at least almost nothing of what I post, is going to change what anyone else thinks, believes, or desires. In a way, posting on discussions is almost like talking to oneself with an audience. I find more and more that I'd rather just journal than post and worry about who responds or who even reads what I say.

It's wise, I think, to learn to like one's own company and not need too much attention from others in order to be happy.