I want to go home!

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I had one of my moments this morning whilst in the bath and I was wondering if anyone else can identify with this...

For as far back as I can remember, every now and again, usually when I'm feeling a little depressed, I find myself with a longing to "go home." I'll sit there repeating to myself "I want to go home, I just want to go home". Except... I am already in my own home (wherever that happened to be at the time).

This morning was one of those times. I was in the bath, (my bath in my own house where I've lived for over two years, in the town I grew up in and a couple of miles from my parent's house- the house I grew up in) saying over and over that I want to go home.

I have no idea where this "home" is, all I do know is, at the time, is where I want to be. It's the exact same feeling as when you are somewhere else and have had enough of whatever you're doing and are ready to retreat.

What's it all about eh?

I get this, too. Unfortunately don't know what it's about though...

I sometimes get that too. I can't remember if I felt it before I got sent away a couple of times as a teenager but I think it might be left over from that or maybe from all the years I was made to be in school when I just wanted to stay home.

That's what my grandfather did when he got Alzheimer's.

I think having a warm bath helps to temporarily detach me from the issues I'm going through, but only for a bit.

I do this occasionally. At home it's rare, but when I'm in public I do it when I get frightened.

its probably a fight or flight reaction-which is triggered by stress/anxiety etc,the example in the oiriginal post is specificly under the 'flight' side, which can mean anything from physicaly running away to mentaly being desperate to run off somewhere but not actualy doing anything.

He was born in the summer of his 27th year, coming home to a place he'd never been before.

(from Rocky Mountain High)

I think it's a common feeling to have.

I've been wanting to go home ever since I was born. Not that I know where "home" is.

"Home" is a place of safety.

Lots of people seem to remember "home" as a safe place growing up. Hence the longing for it.

Spiritual beliefs also equate "home" as going to the "promised land," "afterlife," etc. A safe place of rest.

This is an activity which could be associated with a variety of spectrum behaviours - obsessive/repetitive, stimming, Tourette's - it is possible that the actual words used are not particularly significant.

I have always had a tendency to speak out loud completely meaningless phrases at completely random times. Usually, but not always, in private, and very frequently in the bathroom. The phrase of choice changes over time, and the shorter ones are very often shouted quite loudly. The current favourite is "I LOVE YOU MILLY" and it is sometimes followed by a rather obscene suggestion about what I would like to do to Milly (whoever she might be!). An earlier favourite from many years ago was "I want to go to France on a blue scooter or a green motorbike", and I can remember spending quite long periods of time repeating the phrase over and over.

These days, I quite often lie in bed reciting to myself some of the nonsense which I have just posted on a forum just like this. O well - Sleep Tight!

I get that aswell.

When I was a little kid I had dreams where my parents weren't my real parents. When I got older they turned into dreams of yelling at my parents and asking them why they had be? Because I never asked to be born....

Obviously this has different meanings for different people.

Home is where the heart is?
Where one truly experiences love, belonging and acceptance as a whole person?

Home as very different from the house you may happen to live in. I remember the song "A House is not a Home" sung by the great American singer Dionne Warwick which so poignantly captured the experience of living in a house that is not a home.

I kinda feel the same...... I guess it's that feeling of not belonging somewhere like where do I really belong? I have not got a clue myself.

Happens to me frequently too, although my definition of "home" for me would be a quiet, low-lit area free of unwanted stimulation, brightness/noises, demands and forced socialization, with all my comfort/coping items available.