You Might be an Aspie if...

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Some content borrowed from http://www.geocities.com/autistry/YMBAAI.html

Yes, this is another knockoff of Jeff Foxworthy's "You might be a Redneck".

You might be an Aspie if...

...you knew at the beginningof our freshman year that you weren't going to the senior prom.

...by the time the prom came, they couldn't have paid you a million dollars to go to the prom

....if the word "logic" goes right to your heart but the word "love" usually bounces off of it.

...if it takes you 3 times as long to decide if it's safe drive through an intersection as it does a normal person.

...if people behind you at intersections thoroughly hate you.

...if people told you you drive like a granny when you were 23 years old

....In Sunda School, you find the representations of the ark as a boat, with a keel and all, very irritating, when the Bible clearly describes the ark as a big rectangular box

....you don't think an aspie board would be very authentic without some argumentative pontificating, I defend argumentative pontificating because I myself am prone to such. Although, I am only trying to be factual and helpful.

...your teacher commands every one in the room to pair-off to discuss a topic and you are extremely relieved that no one wants to be your partner.

…you're disappointed that the latest close-approaching meteor is not, after all, going to hit Earth because you've been fascinated by cataclysms and catastrophism ever since you first saw "When Worlds Collide" and it scared the bejeebers out of you, and you really want to see what a real cataclysm would be like

....you insist on your view on fairness even when anyone else thinks you have gone mad

....you constantly forget taking the trash out even if you walk past it all the time because it isn't on your mental agenda of things to do.

...if your brain decides to take a leave when ever you are asked to do an unpleasant task.

...your science teachers often let you hold their classes because you knew better anyway.

...you consider the pleasantries of others just a waste of time.

...ifF you have dreams of communicating with extraterrestrials and nightmares about chatting with the next-door neighbour.

...you would rather have your liver pecked out by a giant crow than spend a day at the mall.

...You gave up on ever convincing people that you are not odd ages ago. You now just live your life and to hell with anyone who thinks it strange.

...you're known for a large number of unusual pets. 10 additional points if these pets are creatures that make NTs squeamish like rats, snakes, ferrets, or lizards. 20 additional points if you have more than 5.

...you take apart computers or other electronics for fun. 10 additional points if you started doing this before you were five years old.

...if you consider your driving an insurance risk

...if you forgot how to divide every summer break in school

...your hands are always covered in burns, cuts and scars, and the only ones you noticed getting are the really spectacular ones, but they never hurt anyway.


by Sean:
...if your neighbors come to your door needing help with their computer at all hours of the night

...if you help them with their computer problems at all hours of the night

...if the only reason anybody from high school knew who you were is because you have a popular sibling

...if your high school librarian knew you better than your classmates

...if anyone ever started a rumor that you were going to be on Jeopardy!

...if you're in class and everybody wants to sit by you for help with thier work but you can't get your own work done in time to save your life

...if you've ever frequented a fast food resturant and the people there ask you if "you want the usual?"


If any of you can think of some, POST IT!
For those of you who don't know who Jeff Foxworthy is,http://www.jefffoxworthy.com/homepage.shtml

Last edited by Sean on 02 Mar 2006, 8:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

heh, so true

You might be an aspie if you read through the entire website, and couldn't stop until you reached the end.

"...if your high school librarian knew you better than your classmates"




I was at the grocery store with my son when an adult I didn't know said hi to him and waved. He smiled back so I figued he knew her. Turns out she is the school librarian.



He's never run into a class mate. At least as far as I know.

You might also be an Aspie if you enjoy balancing coins.

That is so true. Everyone knows me because of my older brother. I'm cool by association.

Laughing with you, now, but based on my son, I'd have to say...

...you might be an aspie if you think it would be okay to wear the same clothes today as you did yesterday...even though you slept in them too.

BeeBee

LOL my very non-Aspie boyfriend does this far more often than I do.

...You might be an Aspie if you want to bow down and worship whoever invented the U-scan at WalMart...

You might be an aspie if you'd rather look into the sun then look into people's eyes.

You might be an aspie if you know 3 or more definitions of the word "pie".

You might be an aspie if you talk to air more than anyone else.

You might be an aspie if you know the exact specs of your computer.

You might be an aspie if you're reading this.

I was known for my younger brother or just known as "that wierd dude".

You can remember the entire schedule or the two bus routes from your house to the city, but you can't remember how to reduce fractions after 3 years.

More dogs are attracted to you than women.

You run away from home just to see a woman who doesn't want you.

You have to drive an hour just to see a shrink.

You think George W. Bush has Asperger's.

You get kicked out of school, and you have the school system screw up your life, yet you still keep a track of that school district's bus fleet.

Your favorite subject in school is the school bus.

All true!

I like these.

Hmmmm? Here goes....

•You know your aspie if you watch
the same video everytime.

•You know your a aspie when
you can breakdown a book
and develop diagrams and
schematics refered to.

•You know when your a aspie
when you space out on Pink
Floyd "The Wall"

•You know when your a aspie
when you like moody 70'smusic
(carpenters, Neil Diamond, ect.)

You used to be able to memorize the name and reign of every pope, even though you were Jewish.

You've asked your doctor stupid questions before.

Your IQ is 116, yet you suck at behavior.

You compare your mom to Hitler.

you scratched curse words on your mother's couch and thought of it as funny.

Yep, all true...even the first one, though that was at least 5 years ago and I forgot all of them except for the past 100 years or so.

The only way anyone gets you to the mall is by letting you go to the bookstore there.

...If your playing football and someones telling you to stand in front of someone else but you don't know why because when he starts running he runs straight into you for some reason.

...You asked a girl at school what that shiny stuff they carried around was.

Last edited by ilikedragons on 01 Mar 2006, 10:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I love them all!
So true, so true!