Signs that one is 'not autistic'

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There are a lot of people that seek diagnosis, and the majority that aren't diagnosed as children research the autism spectrum to help determine whether or not they have an ASD. On the internet and in books, many symptoms and traits are listed and described in detail, but evidently not to a point where doubt can be sufficiently erased.

What's frustrating is that no solid information exists regarding the extent to which certain symptoms must be present for them to be considered as caused by autism. The closest thing to this is the overly vague 'significantly impairing' statement under the diagnosis listed in DSM V.

Just as an example, I sometimes may think to myself that every autistic person will have deficits in non-verbal communication, but then I could read an account by someone on the forum that does not struggle with facial recognition etc and considers themselves to have excessive levels of empathy. Though I am likely wrong, I can't help but think that a person such as that must be misdiagnosed, as it completely contradicts the nature of every autistic person I have ever known (in this narrow context alone), and most NT's experiences with autistic individuals. It eliminates the possibility to think that an autistic will have problems with non-verbal communication, and really makes it seem impossible for there not to be multiple kinds of autism.

I have even read about autistic individuals that claim to have good social skills. Whether or not they're blind to the fact that they really don't (confirmation bias perhaps), it stands to loose chance that some are correct that they do.

There really is no other disorder (or disease for that matter) that apparently presents so differently among individuals. I don't lack belief in the idea that each autistic is different - it's not a matter as to whether one is extroverted or introverted or anything like that, but rather actual characteristics of the disorder.

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So what are valuable signs that one is not autistic? Are there any at all, or is the disorder too complicated?

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Unapologetically, Norny.
-chronically drunk

There are rules against "more autistic than thou" threads. It's difficult to tell over the internet who has the disorder and who doesn't. There are a few who diagnose themselves with it because they saw someone on a reality show with it, or because Asperger's is becoming the "new bisexual", but most people who obtain an official diagnosis, are on the spectrum.

(And having a good social intuition when you're on the autistic spectrum, is like being able to see well when you're legally blind.)

People can have inaccurate knowledge of themselves as well. I thought I was a lot better socially in certain ways but my husband reminds me often that I am not.

I have "subnormal" empathy at times; in fact, I don't feel truly empathetic at all if I haven't experienced what I'm supposed to be empathetic FOR. I am able to express sympathy honestly--but not empathy in these instances. It's rather frustrating, really.

My social skills are better than they used to be--but they are by no means up to a "typical neurotypical" level. I have a penchant for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, and I receive awkward glances frequently (which I didn't discern when I was younger, though I can discern them now). I am an amiable fellow, but somewhat of an awkward fellow sometimes, thus fitting in with Tony Attwood's notions pertaining to (in essence) "desiring social contact, but attempting to obtain it in an awkward manner."

I have mild sensory issues--especially when I'm bombarded all at once. I can't "do two things at once."

I used to be a "little professor" with a pedantic rhythm to my speech, though I did not a pedantic manner, overall. I was a rather silly kid, actually.

I was in special schools most of my academic life, though I never received any particular academic "accommodations." I was able to graduate from a regular college without accommodations. I did irritate some of the students who were within my major (speech pathology). However, over time, I became accepted, albeit somewhat grudgingly by some. I made an effort to improve my overall public presentation.

Until the age of 5, I exhibited rather "Kanner-type" symptoms. Upon the attainment of speech, I become "Aspergian," so to speak. I've said this many times; perhaps I'm repeating myself too much! LOL

I believe I am on the Spectrum in some way, and hope to advocate well for others on the Spectrum.

If you don't meat these criteria:

I don't believe one must meet ALL those criteria. I'd have to research DSM IV to find out exactly how many.

I meet at least half the criteria at this moment. Historically, I met most of the criteria.

If you met me, and you were a "neurotypical" person, you would think that I'm weird. You would wonder "what's up with this guy?" If you were ignorant, you would want to avoid me.

I admit I have some regrets that I haven't done more with my life. It's possible that my Aspieness contributed to my relative lack of accomplishment--or perhaps I'm just making excuses. My desire is to be a Transitions Counselor for adults on the cusp of independence. I hope that my Aspergerian features do not interfere with this ultimate ambition. As it stands now, I'm too much into myself, and my special interests.

But I definitely fit somewhere on the Spectrum. If I were to work in a more socially-dynamic profession, I don't think I'd last long. I'm fortunate I have a job which doesn't require too much social interaction.

1 from Column A has hurt me greatly, and continues to hurt me. I want to be a caring person at the right times--but my lack of empathy, except for situations I have actually experienced what the person needs empathy for, really gets in the way.

2 from Column A was rather severe when I was younger, but is much less severe now.

3 from Column A is still rather severe. My only "friend" is my wife at this point, and I can't confide in even her. I have a few "acquaintances," with whom I keep in contact sporadically. I am not affected by all this most of the time, though I get lonely at times. There is a superficiality about my relations with people. I have, however, been able to begin incipient friendships on this website.

1 from Column B--not really, except for occasional idiosyncratic phrases.

2 from Column B--I'm not blatantly ritualistic; but when the routines of my day are tampered with, I get very tense, angry, and have thrown tantrums in the subways when my train is late. I've had cops come up to me in wonderment about my tantrums.

3 from Column B--not severe, but my "special interests" do interfere with the performance of required tasks. I've gotten into debt because I didn't follow up on payments, because I would forget to make them due to my obsession with these "special interests."

4 from Column B--Mild, and getting more mild by the year. I am hypersensitive to loud sounds; I hate the TV to be at even a moderate volume; this irritates my wife. I should probably get headphones. I have an aversion to tags on my clothes. I am quite fascinated by kaleidoscopic-type things. I like tacky things sometimes because they match my preference for colorful things.

C. Symptoms have always been apparent--much more severe before age 5, to a "Kanner" extent; somewhat severe until adulthood; less severe at present.

D. I am significantly handicapped socially, though it's getting much better. I would be significantly handicapped vocationally if I didn't have my socially-isolated job.

E. It was thought I might have an intellectual disability when I was very young--but it turned out that I didn't.

Sorry for this comprehensive, self-absorbed little missive.

If someone doesn't act weird/silly at least part of the time they're probably not autistic although they should try to act relatively normal while in public either way.

I have had a few diagnosed autistic piano students, from very different families with very different child-rearing philosophies.

Of course, individuals have differing degrees of severity, but the family environment must also play a part in how much these characteristics are evident, especially as the individual gets older.

My current autistic student is 13 now, and you would *almost* not know. I doubt that those who have not been told can tell. The main thing about him is that he has few friends, though he is a friendly kid. I know when he is having an "off" day, but the "off-ness" is so slight that another might just find him grumpy or having an "attitude problem" at the moment.

He went through intense therapy when very young and his parents have done several things to reduce the severity of his symptoms. I wonder how many would think he would not qualify for a diagnosis now. I personally don't see any unusual behaviors at least in public. I do not know how he is at home, but he's a really great kid. We get along great!

If you have good social cognition, highly empathic, and able to practice good social skills in real-time interactions.

When reading the symptoms I never really knew what was meant by non-verbal communication. I did some research on it though (like, five seconds ago) and it seems to basically come down to facial expressions, gestures (pointing/waving hands), tone of voice, pitch, volume, etc, posture/body language, personal space, eye contact, and touch (empathetic/violent/whatever).

It's difficult for me to know how much non-verbal communication I'm using because I don't constantly moniter myself, even know what to look for, or even have something to compare myself to (what's considered normal?). I know I'm not empathetic, in fact I'm usually suprised when someone near me has an emotional reaction to something, and I don't touch other people (eww), but other than touch nothing is very clear cut. A lot of non-verbal communication is also learned by everyone, and varies from culture to culture (like personal space). I guess my point is that unless someone tells you that you don't do a lot of non-verbal communication, it would be hard to know.