Smiling...

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I was looking through my Altwood book on Aspergers, in the section on emotions, and the parts about smiling and about giving inappropriate emotional signals resonated with me.

I was always being told off as a child because when I was in trouble or being shouted at, I would find myself smiling or giggling instead of looking serious.

And even now... I will be in an angry or upset mood, yet when I approach the one female I know in this city, in spite of feeling serious I will find myself smiling when I don't even feel like smiling! It is really frustrating and makes me feel like some stupid cheshire cat...does anyone else have this problem?

Other times, my mother, when I visit her, always asks me why I cannot smile occasionally, and if I don't, assumes it is because I am miserable or something. It really irks me. Even more so as when I was a child and giggled, I would be told to 'stop being so silly' by the same mother!

My mother never let me be regarding my non-smiling face. She took it as a personal affront that I didn't walk around smiling 24/7. And if I had a dime for every dork who told me to SMILE! or said "would it hurt you to smile?" I'd be one rich mofo.

I have a most unfortunate reaction to others showing strong emotion, though -- I will smile. If someone other than my kids cries (breaks my heart if my kids are hurt or sad), becomes upset, angry, especially if I think it's over something trivial, I feel like laughing in their face. Sometimes it's a real struggle to keep my face straight. What is THAT all about?

in chimps, smiling is a display of fear

I smile when someone is yelling at me.

I'm always being asked why I don't smile.

Often I FEEL like I'm smiling, like when someone is telling me something mildly amusing, or if I'm just trying to look friendly when talking to someone I don't know well, but most of the time the "smile" is all in my head. I've actually tried to practice smiling in the mirror, and it turns out that when I THINK I'm trying to offer a friendly smile, I'm not smiling at all. If anything my face goes even more blank.

I can't seem to smile properly unless I'm actually laughing at something.

I think a major part of my social problems is my inability to do a fake smile. I just can't do it, even if I try, it looks like a grimace of pain, consequently I hate having my picture taken. That fake smile is so important, I wish I had it. I've also had people point out to me when I smile at a most inappropriate time. I'm getting sick of it.

The other day some obnoxious prick chastised me for not smiling saying "it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile." I'd heard that once too often, he has not talked to me again after my response. If you don't care about really pissing off someone who gets on your case for smiling here's a good comeback for someone who uses the more muscles to frown line.

"Oh, that's why you're so fat. You're lazy. You know the point of exercise is to use your muscles. P*ssy."

Yeah I've had the problem of smiling at inappropriate times, smiling for no obvious reason, or people mentioning I'm not smiling enough. I sometimes find myself smiling at really serious situations even though I know there's no good reason to be smiling. I don't really know why it happens. Sometimes I smile not out of happiness or laughter but if I'm feeling self-conscious or nervous in a social situation or feeling like I'm being put under a microscope. And sometimes a situation just seems completely absurd and I smile at that.

I walk around witha stupid grin on my face all day. I think that's why people assume I'm an idiot.
I also had the problem of giggling when I was getting yelled at or whatever. I remember more than a few times my dad hitting me harder when I was a kid b/c I laughed (he used a belt. It was great fun, believe me! )

I remember going into a candy store when I was a child, and having the lady behind the counter say, "Well, what do you want, Deadface?" Boy, did that hurt! I just turned and left without buying anything. I guess I didn't look the way she thought a kid should look and act. I also had a boss tell me that I was "Hard to read." i wanted to say, "That's because there's no writing on my face, duh!"

Yep I hat having my pisture taken,,,strange thing is it only seems tobe me that recognises the fact that my smile in the photo is fake AS!

If I had a dollar for everytime some-one told me to smile I be a billionaire too!! ! --worst is when they say, why are you so sad? ,waht's wrong? etc etc ,,, if I had a dime for thos times then I'd have my own island.

The inadvertant smile...

My dad can make me doit at the strangest of times... and I am trying really really hard not to - it gives away my emotion,,, but doesn't account for my thougt.

What's strange is crying...that one seems to come on at the right times / they are explainable for the context of the situation (well most of the time, we dont always know why some-one can be sad/ahppy with tears in the eyes .. but to me at least it equates)

The worst ttime to smile -- a funeral .. I don't know where it coms from and I feel guilty when it does.... I usualy transition my smile to a 'I'm so happy because I am just remmebering the good times smile (when I realise I'm doing it I make my eyes 'light up' and then look at the ground, as if to say, oh that was good time... and if some-one asks why I was smiling I just say,,oh nothing, like it's none of thier business, that the happy moment with me and the deceased is mine and mine alone - for the really inquisitive type that knows how to get info out of me,, I usually make a small reference to a certain moment in time I know they won't know about with my times with the decieased.)'

Another strange time to smile church - I don't know wat comes over me,, I wan't thinking about anything funny - sometimes I may even luagh out of the blue, and everyone sort of stares over - where did that come from? ...if some-one asks , I usually quickly make up something to explain my reason for laughing - the reason is usually lame and they just look at me like I'm an idiot - like how could that be funny mate - geez where in church, keep it in.

I wonder if when we smile during serious situations its a subconscious attempt to relieve the tension those situations create.

Hartzofspace - I can totally relate to what you wrote, having been called "living dead" or similar things while growing up. People suck. Also I've had an employer tell me I'm hard to read as well.

I almost NEVER smile. I only smile when i laugh. Thats IT.

Or when someones trying to make me laugh. I can relate with you guys.