Diagnosed As Adult ... Parent/s Don't Believe?

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In spite of having been officially diagnosed, and recalling issues I had relating to my peers, and obsessive interests and various other traits from childhood, my mother seems to think I cannot be autistic because 1) I played with the same toys as other girls(and boys) 2) I was very close to her and 3) she does not recall anything that made me seem not normal, other than my being a bit quirky.

Any others diagnosed as adults had/have this issue?
I am wondering if it is because she expects to have noticed some extreme, like my wanting no physical contact, showing no love and being delayed in areas (I walked and talked early).

Your mother has the old view of autism: That it is severe Kanner's autism.

She doesn't understand the 2014 version of autism.

My parents don't believe it either in me. They haven't told me why however I believe it's possibly due to the reason Kraftiekortie mentioned.

I think Kraftie's right. For what it's worth I don't think my parents quite believe it either but that may well be because of the stigma attached to the concept of autism, or as Kraftie said, the 'old' view of autism. I think it's important to keep learning about it and to better yourself, and try to accept that not everybody is as well-educated on the topic as we are

I agree that they probably don't know much about autism, and that it is on a large spectrum, with different traits and symptoms. You might have to explain to them in details.

Yeah, my mother has even read up on Asperger's and seemed to have accepted that for my adult self, but when I asked her how I was as a toddler, she emphasized that I played with normal toys, went through the usual phases of liking things, was very loving towards her etc etc. However, I also know I had a lot of issues at schools, dominated games with other kids, did not fit in well at school, and she has told me plenty of times that when she came home from hospital, rather than run and hug her when I was about 7/8, I simply said 'Oh, you're back', not to mention collecting scented erasers and rejecting any that were not of that type. I wonder how obvious Asperger's in a female child would be, especially if that child was more of the outgoing, talkative type, as I think I was until I reached the age of about 7/8. I must admit, it really sent my mind into chaos when she insisted I was a normal child and I thought, 'maybe I better go back to the specialist and tell him he must be wrong'.

Parents sometimes don't like to accept that something's "wrong" with their kid because they think it reflects on their parenting skills----like THEY did something to you, that made you turn-out "damaged". Also, what will other people think of them, if their child is not "normal".

My mother believes I have "Mild Asperger's." She says, point-blank, "you don't have autism."

She is a psychoanalyst.

My husband was diagnosed at 50.

His mother and father are in utter denial, because he survived school.

He was bumped into independent studies for all his high school classes. His friends were really his siblings friends. I don't believed he had one true friend he made on his own. Him and his brother played D&D (1970s), so it looked like he was behaving normally with the group of friends gaming. He really wasn't. The game rule system gave him an outline for behavior.

Had he been born 20 years later, he would have been in special ed. His parents are unconscious. They don't see him struggling even now.

I always wonder why adults care what their parents think.

That cord should have been cut long ago.

My parents didn’t say much when I told them I was diagnosed with Asperger’s last year (at age 50). And, we have not discussed the diagnosis since. From their perspective, we are all born with strengths and weaknesses/limitations. We have to “make do” with those weaknesses/limitations and push forward. Without excuses. So, as a child, they constantly pushed me forward. They demanded a lot. To be the best that I can be.

When my parents did have issues raising me, they consulted doctors (first thinking it was physical, then assuming it was psychological). When they were at a loss, they sent me to therapy (at ages 8, 11, 18-22).

Looking back now, I fully accept their position. As this is both practical and appropriate for people of their generation (whose own lives were growing up during the Great Depression + World War II era).

Interestingly, I was talking with my therapist earlier this week about this same topic. If my parents hadn’t pushed me this way, I would probably still be living at their home, unwilling to leave the safety of my cocoon. It made me appreciate how critical the “nurture” aspect is for enabling Aspies to improve their level of “functioning” within this crazy world.

My parents tend to have an open mind about things that they don't know well about. They seem to have (passively) accepted my autism diagnosis because they know I don't say rubbish. They also don't seem to worry too much about it because the diagnosis doesn't suddenly change who I am.

I wonder if parents may try to deny it as they (consciously or subconsciously) think that they are at fault/feel guilty for not spotting anything earlier. Maybe that is why they emphasise how "normal" you were.

I anticipate having this happening with my parents (I am not diagnosed, am waiting for assessment), as when I have mentioned scoring highly on AS tests they have been very sceptical. I hope they will realise that they don't know a lot about it and will not base their opinion on their non-expert knowledge.

I'm not sure what to suggest, hopefully they will try to learn about it and realise their idea of autism is out of date or inaccurate and based on extreme examples. Maybe a "soft" approach to helping them learn about it, like suggesting a good resource but not pushing it and leaving the idea with them, maybe they'll look into it in their own time. I don't know though, it depends how your own parents tend to respond to things.

My mom was hesitant to agree when I first told her I think I could have aspergers. After she read up on it and after a few emails back and forth with me, she seemed to come around to the conclusion that I am autistic.

One day, this conversation randomly happened
Mom: I saw your video on youtube
Me: Which video???
Mom: Your video blog about your Aspergers.

That was really the last time she brought it up. About a year later, I asked her to fill out a questionnaire for my assessment, and when I left, she asked me to let her know how the assessment went when it finally happened. When I told her that I got an ASD Dx, she pretty much said "Oh, Okay...", and she hasn't said anything more about it.

When I told my dad about my Dx, he said he can relate a lot to how I'm feeling (I'm pretty sure he's somewhere on the spectrum too), and he said it sounds like I'm getting things figured out and that he supports me in figuring myself out.