Do those around you "get" your autism?

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I seem to always encounter people who doubt my autism or think it's not problematic. I try to explain my black & white thinking but they don't get it. I get annoyed when people tell me to stop stimming even though I tell them it calms me down. I've stopped driving people in my car because of the distractions from their talking or the car radio being on or traffic noise too loud & irritating and I'm so busy trying to filter them out that I make serious mistakes while driving. I get annoyed when people wonder why I read all the end credits of a movie. Personally, I thought everyone did that anyway. It's annoying when people try to change my eating habits. It's really frustrating to start something only to have it interrupted by someone else. Of course, I get scolded for being brutally honest because some people can't handle the truth and would prefer I used pc language. People are forever telling me to try and forget the incessant bullying I had as a youngster as if I could "turn that off." And they wonder why I isolate.

At first it was the other way around. I got diagnosed and thought no way do I have autism I would have known sooner; but I couldn't protest too much when much of my symptoms fit.

My family do believe it but they say now that I know then I can adapt and get help for things. I told my employers also; I was nervous they wouldn't be Leicester me and say I was being awkward but they just accepted and it's actually better that they know.

For now, at my current age, so far this is what I observed:

I'm certain that my mom does at most. My sister gets annoyed sometimes but she's aware of it.
My relatives sometimes but I'm rather glad none of them are bringing it up. Most of them just let me be, they barely questioned me about it... Same with family friends.
As for my current neighbors, I could care any less since I never interacted with them.
And possibly from my last former classmates and next would-be classmates, they're likely unaware but they're likely won't question me about it either. If anything else, they'll pester me about it because I'm 'different' and because they thought I'm rather 'interesting'. Same stuff from the teachers and would-be teachers.
What's better/worse is they tried to get a closer look at me, then they let me be. So I don't know if they really get it or simply not questioning it.

So yes, 'acceptance' without 'awareness'... Do they "get" it? I'm not even sure myself!

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It depends.
The very few times (only two, actually) that I was able to sit and talk about everything related to how autism affects me I could make them understand. The other (also few) times where I just said that I'm autistic they didn't completely understand because of, well... those stupid stereotypes.

I don't tell people about my autism very often, so by definition most people around me don't get it.

Of those I told, only my partner gets it, presumably because she also believes herself to be on the spectrum. We regularly talk about the traits and work together to help and cope with her daughter who has just been diagnosed as ASD, so we're like a miniature WrongPlanet group.

My brother-in-law seems vaguely interested but I don't see him often and there hasn't been time to explain it in much detail.

My employers didn't get it, though they had little choice but to give me a few accommodations when I hit them with my diagnostic report. They just eased off the pressure, and AFAIK never even tried to understand the specifics or to get me more "included," but just left me to self-advocate

When I've told friends, it's pretty much gone in one ear and out the other. The most ironic thing is that one friend, who seems more autistic than I am, said that he didn't think there was anything in this Aspergers thing. His extreme mind-blindness is one of the main reasons I have so little time for him these days.

If by "get it," you mean accept my diagnosis as valid, then I'd say it's a mixed bag. My mother still isn't sure about it, but I think she chooses to selectively not recall some things. Overall, most people have been supportive. One acquaintance replied, "Oh, I could have told you that!" Still others seem completely surprised (or at least act like they are).

There are other NTs who seem to intuitively understand my social limitations. For whatever reason, they're usually women. They may not know about my diagnosis, but I think some people are just more attuned to the social deficits they perceive in others, and they will try to build you up in a positive way. On the other hand, there are the bullies in life who abuse that insight.

I think that the more you try to eggsplain about your autistic traits, the less most people understand you or your traits.
The best way for people to get you is to be yourself and connect with them as yourself.
If you can't connect with them, be polite and helpful if you interact with them regularly.

Not really, as none of them really have autism so they wouldn't be able to 'get it'. Though the people I get along best with don't try to act like they do get it or act like know it alls about my conditions and abilities they just accept me for who I am and call me out if I really am acting some way that is detrimental to me or others. Other people I just don't bring it up with because I know they will do that...and it pisses me off just the same whether they are trying to be condescending or helpful. I don't really like being pestered about why I don't have a job, why I am not going to school or what I am doing with my life...its annoying to here 'but you're so smart.' well apparently smart doesn't overrule everything else. Or when people get that shocked look on their face at the fact I am not really planning to 'go back to school' and am not just taking a break. Yes I am 25 and 'smart' so I should really be doing something and get sick of hearing about it....as if I am not fully aware of the stupid limitations my combination of mental conditions causes. Do people think I like that the reason I can't go to college is because it causes a level of stress beyond my threshold for dealing with it and I end up spending copious amounts of time hiding in the bathroom or going outside to smoke cigarettes between classes(I take the bus so I wouldn't go home between classes) and on occasion having to vomit because of how on edge I am and then can't focus in class because I am preoccupied with any noise/movement from the hall because of stupid PTSD combined with autism which already causes sensory sensitiveness, awkwardness and I could be wrong but it seems many of us have a lower threshold for stress than neurotypicals top it off with PTSD related to an incident in a school setting and trying to actually complete college....no thanks. That and the debt and the autism related lack of people skills that would likely make it difficult to find any work sufficient enough to pay back loans. Alright I suppose I am ranting now, anyways I just hate the shocked/critical reactions when people figure out I am on disability income 'at my age' well age has got nothing to do with things like PTSD, Autism, Anxiety or Depression it doesn't care how old you are to effect you even very severely granted the other disorders aside from autism are I think more severe.....if it was just the autism I might be faring a lot better.

"People are forever telling me to try and forget the incessant bullying I had as a youngster as if I could "turn that off." And they wonder why I isolate."

Turning off parts of me is how I live my life it seems. Compartmentalize to the point that I can deal with a situation, then when I'm alone I can turn all those parts back on because I can just focus internally instead of externally. In the meantime, the external focus turns off. Trying to experience things internally and interact with the world around me is what I've been trying to do lately, with out positive results. The inability to be 'outside' and experience 'inside' as well isn't conducive to connecting to people. It would not have been possible, I don't think, for me to fall in love with my partner had we met in-person instead of online.
I don't understand myself most of the time, all that I said above comes from logic, not internal experience.

I personally think that the lack of other people's ability to 'get it' possibly lies more within personal perception of someone else's perception. Autistics have poor cognitive empathy...just because you cannot understand someone else, doesn't mean that they cannot understand you on some fundamental level. Maybe they can and you're just assuming they can't.


I don't think most people understand me. I don't convey who all of me is to most people because I am not all of me most of the time. I don't think I -can- be all of me, there's too much to be/know all at once.


Anyways, no, people don't get me, in part because I am incapable of showing who

My mom and my sister do "get" my AS, but often use it against me, thinking of my AS as a problem that in turn, will cause me to have problems with everyone.

My grandma and my uncle don't "get" my AS at all, likely because they're from the South, and expect me to act like a typical Southerner.

I'm not sure.

I don't talk about my AS diagnosis left and right so not a lot of people knows about it. Only my family and friends do.

- Mom "gets" it and either excuses everything I do with "you won't understand it because you have Asperger" and tries to teach me about body language and social cues. For example today she was telling me to "look her in the eyes" repeatably for no apparent reason. She also tends to ignore my needs and says "deal with it, cannot you be above it?" when I am about to break. What a pain...
- Dad doesn't believe my diagnosis so he just thinks I am lazy and stupid.
- Grandma "gets" my Asperger and while she is helpful and understanding (really helpful and understanding, not clueless like mom) she also expects I will do great things in future because I am "like Lisbeth Salander". I don't agree with that.
- Other family members are indifferent.
- My best friend didn't believe it at first but after I said "You can have dyslexia and I cannot have Asperger?" she believed. But nothing changed between us even when she knows. She is my friend since high school times(long before diagnosis) so in her opinion whatever I do is me, Aspie or not. Although she probably doesn't fully know me - I don't know how to change the way I treat her so I am still using my "pretending of being nearly normal" act as I always were in our relationship.
- My old friend doesn't "get" it at all. I said about my social problems recently and he told me to stop recalling what happened to me in middle school because "all middleschoolers are nuts and no adult will bully me like that anymore" and he didn't listen to me when I said I still cannot get along with people. He also said I am wasting my life by avoiding people due to old fears. I am depressed since that talk between us. He really kicked my self worth.
- My new friend helps me if I get lost during class but she doesn't know I am an aspie. She just knows I often have trouble understanding what teacher says and my social skills are a bit off. She seen me during a meltdown and a shutdown before too and she never said anything about it - but I didn't let her see full force of those states. I was trying my best to control myself so she only seen a "crying" or "tired" girl. She might change her opinion of me if she seen a full meltdown/shutdown.

No. Not even to the slightest degree.

It's deeply worrying and disheartening and has caused me to decide to never bother trying to "come out" about it to anyone ever again.

The people who matter to me 'get' my autism and accept it. The people who don't get it don't matter.

My family accepts it but doesn't quite get it. I can't really blame them though.

My girlfriend gets it but she's also on the spectrum. I haven't told anyone offline about my autism except my girlfriend & my exes & my parents know cuz they were the 1s who told me they thought I had Aspergers. No on else knows thou except psychs & my doc so no one else can "get it" sense they don't know I have it.