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How do you feel about your friends?
I feel lonely and have no friends 22%  22%  [ 22 ]
I feel lonely and have distant friends 21%  21%  [ 21 ]
I feel lonely and have close friends 18%  18%  [ 18 ]
I'm not lonely and don't care about "friends" 10%  10%  [ 10 ]
I'm not lonely and do have friends. 9%  9%  [ 9 ]
I'm not lonely and have very close friends 3%  3%  [ 3 ]
My family is all the friendship I need! 6%  6%  [ 6 ]
[other, these choices suck!] 9%  9%  [ 9 ]
Total votes : 98

AsahiPto17
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04 Aug 2015, 8:11 pm

I've heard in some places that aspies are just always lonely. It at least seems like it's way more common for aspies to be lonely that NTs, which makes sense for the obvious reasons, but those are things that prevent you from forming connections. What if you already have connections though? If an aspie was surrounded by people that they considered to be friends, would they still feel lonely? Part of me thinks I should just ignore the feeling of being lonely because I might just always feel like that, regardless of how many friends I might have.



Waterfalls
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04 Aug 2015, 8:38 pm

I don't see any reason being an aspie has to make you lonely if you have friends. I think it's harder to make and keep friends.



slw1990
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04 Aug 2015, 9:13 pm

Most of the time, I feel more lonely when I'm with a group of people than I am when I'm all by myself because I feel so out of place. Even though I sometimes get lonely when I'm by myself it's much easier for me to distract myself from feeling that way than it is when I'm around other people. I usually don't feel so lonely if I'm just hanging out with one or maybe two people that I'm close though because it's easier for me to connect with them that way.



Deb1970
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04 Aug 2015, 9:42 pm

As long as I have a job and my mother I do not feel lonely. When I go to work I have people around me. I may not connect with them but we are all there for same common purpose. Money....
My mother does not really understand me and ends our conversation when I talk about my special interest but I'm use to it. I know she is always there and that makes me feel not alone. When she dies and I don't work anymore I may feel lonely.


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Rocket123
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04 Aug 2015, 10:08 pm

I chose other. While I am often alone, I am very seldom lonely.

Deb1970 wrote:
As long as I have a job and...

This too. Having a job (i.e. something to do) keeps my mind stimulated.



kraftiekortie
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04 Aug 2015, 11:31 pm

There are times when I feel lonely amid a crowd of people.

There are times when I don't feel lonely when I'm alone.

I find myself to be a misunderstood person---but not really a lonely person.



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05 Aug 2015, 12:01 am

Yeah, loneliness seems to go with the territory.

I have close friends, but lately I dont hear from them nearly as often. Currently, my interests and theirs dont mesh well whatsoever; we're all into gaming, but I tend to be into very different genres than all of them and whatever game they're into at the time usually looks like garbage to me. I dont get much contact from them right now either; there isnt much to talk about right now, and if I at all get into a conversation about stuff and get whatsoever negative (and NOT being negative is damn near impossible for me) it tends to annoy, and the conversation ends kinda fast. That one, I can understand... I dont mean to be so negative all the time, aint like I do it on purpose, but it's there. So lately, aint much talking at all. Granted they also work, and I do not, so their ability to send texts and stuff (main method of communication for much of the week) is pretty darn limited during the night, except for the two nights they're off. And I cant think up all that much to say half the time, particularly being bored out of my mind lately which just makes me even less talkative. So I end up feeling kinda excluded as a result.

It's pretty annoying. Though I'm well aware that my mood makes it alot worse, but I'm just so tired of this stupid house, ugh... a bit stir-crazy lately, but there's nowhere to go. Well, nowhere that actually has a point. Just going to supermarkets doesnt really count.



Myriad
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05 Aug 2015, 12:24 am

I can relate to the feeling of being lonely when I'm with a group of (usually four or more) people. It just highlights the fact that I'm an outsider.

It's a little different if I'm spending time with a close friend or two, but I don't have many of those and I prefer our company to be one-on-one. I don't see my friends very often at all, to be honest. But it doesn't bother me a lot because too much human interaction is certainly exhausting for me.

I love being solitary but long stretches of minimal contact with others do make me crave company, naturally. Even then, I don't often voluntarily seek out other people because I either feel like I'm being a bother, or I don't have to because they come to me first (usually family).


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ScottyN
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05 Aug 2015, 2:32 am

I do feel lonely much of the time. I care much less now that I am older, but I still feel a need to connect with others and always probably will.



Darod
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05 Aug 2015, 2:51 am

For most of my life, I was alone. But not exactly lonely. There was really only just me and I was perfectly okay with that.

I had my family but we were rather distant. Not really close because we never really understood each other.

But then I started coming online. And after a few years, I made friends with a small group of people and that was really nice. Not something I had really experience before and I appreciated it.

Well, long story short, I ended up dating one of those online friends. She lived close to me which was an added bonus because we were able to actually see each other in person. It was awkward at first but then we grew to become comfortable around each other. And she understood my behavior and nature and so that made it easier.

Anyway, point of all this is that she broke up with me a while ago. And I am lonely now. A kind of lonely I had never experienced before because I didn't have anything to compare it to. I only ever knew what it was like to be by myself. But now I know what it was like to be with someone else. And I miss it. I miss it very deeply. Mainly just cuddling. Holding her. I miss it most at night. Which I guess is why it's 3am and I'm writing all this out in probably not the right place. But I don't know. Given how it ended I highly doubt I will ever be with someone again, it all just hurts too much. But that doesn't stop me missing it.

And that small handful of online friends I've kind of lost too in all this. I withdrew and after a while they left too. So. I don't know. I guess I'm here now to try and... find a place I belong again?

I'm gonna stop before I really say too much in the wrong place. (Also, sorry for saying 'really' too much.)



iliketrees
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05 Aug 2015, 3:09 am

Lonely only with other people. If I'm with 2 people they may talk among themselves and ignore me. I only really feel lonely if I'm getting ignored because it feels like it's done on purpose. At home in my room all day I just don't feel lonely. So other.



Ban-Dodger
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05 Aug 2015, 3:36 am

Most people in the world aren't qualified enough to be friends with most Aspies.


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05 Aug 2015, 7:18 am

Friends are enemies in disguise. Nobody needs them.
I hate being around people, it feels like walking on hot coal.


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Jacoby
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05 Aug 2015, 7:54 am

Things suck, I don't know what to say. It seemed easier to make friends back when I was a kid in school and that was hard enough, I've pretty much given up on it as I just figured adults just want nothing to do with a person like me and I am so guarded against these people that I would never trust anybody that was genuinely nice anyway. It is a miserable existence.



marcb0t
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05 Aug 2015, 8:06 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
There are times when I feel lonely amid a crowd of people.

There are times when I don't feel lonely when I'm alone.

I find myself to be a misunderstood person---but not really a lonely person.

This is mostly me. However, I have 2 separate forms of loneliness. One is the observation that no one is physically there. The other can be the sense of not having a connection with anyone I know whether or not anyone is physically there.

That one can fluctuate irregardless on whether or not I'm around anyone.

In general, I feel lonely, but just try to occupy my time with work and other things. I tend to feel most connected when talking with online friends. A real nice warm feeling! :heart: :D

But these days, I'm a bit solitary and withdrawn from outside contact. Hopefully it won't stay that way. :(


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05 Aug 2015, 12:01 pm

I'm not "perpetually" lonely, and I don't often feel lonely, however, loneliness can creep up on me from time to time and when it does, the feeling is extreme. It is loneliness that goes deep to my core. It creates a feeling of deep sadness (or something very similar) inside of me. It makes me feel somewhat desperate. It's difficult to describe how intense it feels to me. Yet, I rarely experience the feeling.