Are therapist a waste of time and money?

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Deb1970
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27 Aug 2015, 10:39 pm

I have been seeing a therapist for awhile now and find myself wondering why I even go. I mean seriously why should I pay $97 dollars for 45 minutes of me talking about my special interest? Not to mention sometimes my therapist does not even show up and I sit around trying to decide to leave or stay. That's what she did this week and she did not even bother to call me and apologize for not being there. Is it wrong for me to not see her anymore? As a person with Asperger's it seems like I get taken advantage of allot. I think it is really bad for a therapist that claims to know allot about Austism and Aspergers to be so insensitive to my problems and cause an interruption in my routine. If I were the one to miss the appointment I would still have to pay $97 dollars.But if she does not show up there is no consequence other then she does not get paid. The only way I would understand why is if she died or was taken and held hostage. Its been 3 days now with no call from her.


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Feyokien
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27 Aug 2015, 10:51 pm

Some people might have a great experiences with Therapy, but in my personal experience the one I saw for a while last fall was pretty worthless. We just talked in circles about things I already knew. He kept pushing to get me onto a weekly schedule like I was part of his quota or something like a military recruiter.

I'd at the very least look for a new therapist, she doesn't sound very professional, I wouldn't tell you to just quit it altogether. That's something only you can decide for yourself.



Deb1970
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27 Aug 2015, 10:55 pm

Deb1970 wrote:
I have been seeing a therapist for awhile now and find myself wondering why I even go. I mean seriously why should I pay $97 dollars for 45 minutes of me talking about my special interest? Not to mention sometimes my therapist does not even show up and I sit around trying to decide to leave or stay. That's what she did this week and she did not even bother to call me and apologize for not being there. Is it wrong for me to not see her anymore? As a person with Asperger's it seems like I get taken advantage of allot. I think it is really bad for a therapist that claims to know allot about Austism and Aspergers to be so insensitive to my problems and cause an interruption in my routine. If I were the one to miss the appointment I would still have to pay $97 dollars.But if she does not show up there is no consequence other then she does not get paid. The only way I would understand why is if she died or was taken and held hostage. Its been 3 days now with no call from her.


And also I would like to add that last week she asked me why I did not knock on her door when I got there because she has a Sign on it that says please knock. I told her that I have learned over the years that a closed door seems to really mean stay out. She told me that when it is on her door it means she is in there and to please knock. When I went to see her this week her sign was on the door and I knocked 4 times and it meant she was not there. I'm so confused ...


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Deb1970
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27 Aug 2015, 11:08 pm

Feyokien wrote:
Some people might have a great experiences with Therapy, but in my personal experience the one I saw for a while last fall was pretty worthless. We just talked in circles about things I already knew. He kept pushing to get me onto a weekly schedule like I was part of his quota or something like a military recruiter.

I'd at the very least look for a new therapist, she doesn't sound very professional, I wouldn't tell you to just quit it altogether. That's something only you can decide for yourself.



She is the 8th therapist I have had and I thought I got a benefit from seeing her. But because she is unprofessional and upsets me by not showing up i think I should stop all together. I think I would benefit more by just talking to one of my friends about what I talk to her about. She will not hand me a bill after I talk to her. The main problem I have found by talking to my friends is that they get bored hearing me talk about the same things all the time. I'm now down to one friend and I work really hard to ask her questions about herself and try not to focus on my interest so much. I'm in my 40's I need friends so I'm not totally alone when my mom dies. I'm just so unsure on what I should do.


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dianthus
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27 Aug 2015, 11:48 pm

She sounds very unprofessional. It's very disrespectful of her not to show up for appointments. And her requirement that you knock on the door is just silly, especially when you don't know if she's actually going to be in there or not. I understand how that would be confusing. It would be really confusing to me too. I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to someone who acted that way with me. I definitely wouldn't want to see someone who upsets me.

Do you feel like you really need therapy? It's not wrong to stop if you don't want to go. It's also okay if you want to just take a break from it and/or find someone else.

I think a lot of people who work as therapists aren't very good at it. It's probably not their calling in life, just something they ended up doing to make a living. And people who are unethical and inclined to take advantage of people can be drawn to that line of work. They can do real damage to people. So I think if you see lots of warning signs about the person's character, or feel really uneasy about it you should trust your instincts.



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28 Aug 2015, 2:37 am

I believe the competence of therapists varies dramatically depending on the individual. Also some patients may benefit from the therapy while others may not.

I personally don't have faith in psychologists. Many are just interested in making lots of money and are full of pride.

That particular therapist you are seeing sounds bad. And you also don't sound happy with her. If you can't think of her positively, then you most likely will doubt whatever she says. I'd say you should stop seeing her.



tall-p
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28 Aug 2015, 2:58 am

Deb1970 wrote:
She is the 8th therapist I have had and I thought I got a benefit from seeing her. But because she is unprofessional and upsets me by not showing up i think I should stop all together. I think I would benefit more by just talking to one of my friends about what I talk to her about. She will not hand me a bill after I talk to her. The main problem I have found by talking to my friends is that they get bored hearing me talk about the same things all the time. I'm now down to one friend and I work really hard to ask her questions about herself and try not to focus on my interest so much. I'm in my 40's I need friends so I'm not totally alone when my mom dies. I'm just so unsure on what I should do.
That she wasn't there and didn't let you know is unbelievable. Beyond unprofessional. Totally un-therapeutic. They are paid the big bucks to be there and be on your side thinking about you. She has failed.


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LilZebra
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28 Aug 2015, 3:29 am

jk1 wrote:
I personally don't have faith in psychologists. Many are just interested in making lots of money and are full of pride.


That's what I think too.

There's one that saw 23 yrs. ago due to an issue, and after him saw a few others.

This same one I am seeing again since Spring.

The thing I like is that the gov't pays for the counselling, so I don't have to worry about that part.

Another thing I like is that he uses a marker and easel to write stuff out or diagram stuff we talk about.

But we "but heads" on a lot of issues. I'm an AB/DL and years past and recently he doesn't condone my practice. Also I experience pre-birth communications with a 7 yr. old boy spirit (invisible friend) who chose me 29 yrs. ago. ...supposed to be my son if I ever found the right woman... The counsellor/therapist thinks I'm "creating" this boy spirit...like saying it's just my imagination where I actually feel tactile hands on my back...Very real to me.

Most counsellors/therapists, et.al. just wanna get paid to listen to their clients. They feign concern and don't really help. They're only really concerned if we say we wanna harm ourselves or someone else.


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League_Girl
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28 Aug 2015, 11:39 am

I don't think it's a waste of time, I have been told several times I should go see one even though I am not facing any problems in my life except anxiety and social anxiety. I didn't enjoy all my therapists. One I saw when I was 13 was boring and my mom stopped taking me to her because she wasn't the right doctor for me and knew nothing about AS but yet she took me to someone when I was 11 and 12 who knew nothing about it either but I still loved seeing her. I guess it depends on the therapist. How understanding are they? How accepting are they? Are they sympathetic or sensitive? The one I saw in high school made me feel everything was my fault how others treated me and I think he may have been right because of my lousy social skills and I probably unintentionally did things that were not okay that would have been mean if an NT did them because it would have been done with intent while for me I didn't know or understand. I think I was just uncomfortable with the truth and I somehow thought I all of a sudden had new AS symptoms than knowing I was just not aware of them before so it's not like they were new when he pointed them out to me. Sometimes it's easier to blame everyone than looking at yourself and seeing what you need to change.

But if you feel your therapist isn't helping, just stop going and find another one.


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League_Girl
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28 Aug 2015, 11:46 am

LilZebra wrote:
jk1 wrote:
I personally don't have faith in psychologists. Many are just interested in making lots of money and are full of pride.


That's what I think too.

There's one that saw 23 yrs. ago due to an issue, and after him saw a few others.

This same one I am seeing again since Spring.

The thing I like is that the gov't pays for the counselling, so I don't have to worry about that part.

Another thing I like is that he uses a marker and easel to write stuff out or diagram stuff we talk about.

But we "but heads" on a lot of issues. I'm an AB/DL and years past and recently he doesn't condone my practice. Also I experience pre-birth communications with a 7 yr. old boy spirit (invisible friend) who chose me 29 yrs. ago. ...supposed to be my son if I ever found the right woman... The counsellor/therapist thinks I'm "creating" this boy spirit...like saying it's just my imagination where I actually feel tactile hands on my back...Very real to me.

Most counsellors/therapists, et.al. just wanna get paid to listen to their clients. They feign concern and don't really help. They're only really concerned if we say we wanna harm ourselves or someone else.



One of my therapists also didn't approve of AB/DL so he blamed it on my Asperger's because it's an uncommon interest and I feel he didn't know a lot about it because he would blame things on it that had nothing to do with it or else it would have been listed on webpages about it and in books and until every AB/DL is on the spectrum, then I will believe it. But I have noticed it seems like lot of them have it, but I have also noticed lot of them also have learning disabilities or anxiety disorders, personality disorders, emotional issues, trauma, so it makes me wonder if there is a connection. But I also know there are normal AB/DLs too and didn't have any abusive childhoods. I read that we are the 5,000,000-7,000,000 worldwide that are into it so that is a small number of us. There could be more of us.

But the funniest thing he he compared diapers to drugs and alcohol and guns. But I realize he is right about the drugs part and the drinking because they are addictive and many of us fail to quit after we have tried.


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GiantHockeyFan
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28 Aug 2015, 12:49 pm

I don't like to go so far as to say they are a complete waste, but I did not get a whole lot out of them in general. It almost seemed like they were almost like a (very expensive) friend rather than providing any useful, concrete solutions. I usually felt good for a day or two but that was about it.

What really pissed me off (and the only time I have ever yelled at a therapist) was when, after discussing my almost certainty of being on the spectrum and the corresponding anxieties (and making it clear I am no expert), she suddenly said "oh, I didn't know you were a psychologist." I, in as calm a voice as possible explained that I clearly know more than her and it was a case of years of research looking for answers combined with trying repeatedly to find someone who does adult ASD diagnoses, not as some crackpot who spent 10 minutes on YouTube. Usually, I leave a therapist saying "I know you mean well but you don't have a clue what I am dealing with or asking for". I might make one more attempt but I am not being optimistic.



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28 Aug 2015, 1:12 pm

If you can find a good therapist, they are worth every penny.

I was fortunate to have a very good one, she was able to help me in so many aspects of my life. She was also very good at making me feel comfortable and safe during therapy, which can be disconcerting at best.

My therapy was mostly talk therapy, cogintive behaviour therapy, and a some testing in order to focus in on my co-morbids.


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gamerdad
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28 Aug 2015, 1:20 pm

The experience varies from therapist to therapist. I've had 2 bad ones and 1 very good one. The bad ones I dropped after a few sessions, the good one I stayed with for 6 months until I moved out of state. This part

Quote:
Not to mention sometimes my therapist does not even show up and I sit around trying to decide to leave or stay. That's what she did this week and she did not even bother to call me and apologize for not being there.


would make me seriously consider changing therapists. Especially if she did it more than once and never addressed it. It's not just the matter her lack of professionalism. It's the issue of how she treats it knowing you're on the spectrum. It betrays either a lack of care, or proper experience for handling someone with ASD.



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28 Aug 2015, 1:26 pm

a therapist is not there to fix all your problems, you need to put an actual effort in to talk to them about whats really bothering you and how they can help. theyre not there just to chat.


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LilZebra
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28 Aug 2015, 1:42 pm

In 2010 I started seeing people like Past Life Regression therapist, a Reiki-Massage therapist.

I got more out of 1 Reiki-RMT massage than 10 sessions of speaking to someone for an hour.


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Malaise
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28 Aug 2015, 4:26 pm

Not necessarily, but it's not wrong to expect to see some progress or insight after several sessions. A patient deserves to know ahead of time if the appointment is canceled, too.