Homeschooling? Good or Bad

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Hello all---

I would just like to get opinions and input on how you all feel about homeschooling. Maybe some of you here were homeschooled. If you could have been homeschooled, would it have made a difference in your life (good or bad)
I am asking because I am 99% sure I am going to start homeschooling my Aspie starting in 6th grade. He has been in public school since he was 3 yrs old (He is 10 now) He has actually had a pretty good experience, and has gotten some therapy and has done okay academically. He is not a genius. He is smart enough, but has difficulty working independently. Has not really made any friends in elementary, he tends to stick by the teachers or roam around by himself. I feel that middle school will be very difficult for him in many ways, and I want to protect him from all of the heartache that I have read about on here and other places of bullying and low self esteem from always being told he is not doing good enough.

Any thoughts? I am sure some will think of me as an overprotective mother, but I just can't handle the thought of my son being torn down for the rest of his school years.

I think it is fine for you to homeschool your son.
It is not being overprotective to protect him from bullies or avoid school problems.
School is not that great.
Homeschool might be better for learning.

Home schooling has been considered by my parents for me many times. But was decided because of all my special needs, to put me in a special education school.

But if it had been a choice between public school and home ed, home ed would have definitely been chosen. Just because a kid is in a social environment like school, doesn't mean he's going to learn to be social. So I don't think you are depriving him of anything. Except maybe a lot of stress.

Last edited by EzraS on 05 Nov 2015, 2:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

I don't really see how homeschooling could hurt - teenage school times were definitely a traumatic time in my life, I'd much rather have stayed home and did actual academic stuff.

I hate it when people post things like this. You just said you're 99% sure you're going to do it anyway, so why are you asking?

Why not just say, "I want to do something, so I'm making a post for people to tell me to do what I'm going to do anyway so I will feel more secure in my decision?"

I DON'T think it's a good idea, from personal experience and as a professional who studies autistic adults, but I'm not going to go into it if no ones to listen.

I had a crazy hard time socially in school. When I turned 16 I had the meltdown to end all meltdowns and wanted to quit. That would've been the only point where my mother offering homeschooling as an alternative would've been truly helpful. Up to that point, the struggles were still worth it to me for reasons I probably couldn't articulate even now and certainly couldn't back then.

When my boys were middle school age I took them both out for a year and homeschooled them. The amount of things I couldn't provide for them that the school could, were huge. Sure I let them type instead of write and gave them more time and quiet spaces but in the end they missed out on SO much that I put them back into public school the next year.

When I went to college as an adult I took a few online courses along with the traditional classroom ones and i found the online ones were not nearly as useful, educational, or mentally stimulating as the classroom ones.

I have asked my daughter, now 12, if she wants to switch to homeschooling MANY times because of her extremely bad social anxiety and depression and she insists that if she was taken out of school she would no longer have anything at all to make her feel at least somewhat normal.

So, talk to him, see how he feels, and perhaps wait for that meltdown depending on how verbal he is with you.

Just my own thoughts based on my own life. Hope it helps your thought process in some way.

Last edited by LivingInParentheses on 05 Nov 2015, 9:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

I started online school in 5th grade, it's very good for me because a regular school environment doesn't suit me. I'm sure homeschool would help him but it's important to consider how he feels about the idea.

Homeschooling, along with private school, are good options, when possible, for any child who is struggling with school when all other options have been exhausted, ruled out, or when your kid can't take it anymore.

I don't think it's a good option given the information I have...or at least not yet. The fact is, we all struggle to some degree.

I wish I was taken out of public school in the second grade, personally. But that's my experience. Since your son enjoys public school, continue to send him.

First of all, I think it is brilliant that you thought to ask other people on the spectrum what they thought because we've all experienced being educated while on the spectrum! Second, I wouldn't pay much attention to what all of the experts say regarding what works best for Aspies. We are not rats in a maze to be analyzed and theorized about. Listen to your son. Make the decision together. He is the only expert on HIM! All that being said, I am an Aspie. I have 2 kids on the spectrum, and I homeschool them. Personally, we LOVE it!! ! We get to learn in the way and order in which we learn without the added stress of trying to learn in an environment that is over stimulating (my oldest was a late reader but we were able to get ahead in other things that came more naturally to her). We don't have to waste time trying to learn how to function in a classroom with people all the same age being taught in the exact same way. We can focus our behavioral efforts on learning how to function in environments that will be important for the rest of our lives....interactions with adults, younger children, the grocery store, the post office, job skills, etc. They have an entire pack of kids that they run around with at church and have a few other close friends from other places/events. It has been a great fit for my kids! I HATED being in school....especially in junior high!! !! I don't think anyone has mentioned the affect of hormones on sensory issues....that was a NIGHTMARE!! !! (it may be worse for girls....not sure) Not to mention the social issues...... That was pretty bad too.... And I went to a nice private school....seriously looking back the kids were relatively good kids....but I wasn't ready for that environment and they really didn't have a lot of experience to know what to make of me either. At any rate....talk to him and go with y'alls gut! You two are the only real experts when it comes to him!

Thanks for all of your replies. They are very helpful, and yes 1% of me is unsure of my decision, so I am still trying to get input. Anyhow, I have discussed it with my son and he is kind of on board with it, so I will continue to discuss it with him. I guess even if we try it, and it doesn't work, we can always return to school. I would love to put him in a private special school, but the cost is exorbitant. If homeschool doesn't work, then maybe I can try that option and work to pay for it.

The thing is, my son has been in a protective bubble since he started pre-k3 and is now in 5th grade. He is a very cute and sweet kid and the teachers all LOVE him. So I think he loves going, but I know that will change once he starts middle and high school and the whole scene changes. I know how it works because I went to public school all the way through and I had no problems. I was very social and had lots of friends, but I saw how the outcast kids struggled. Plus, my son has no niche that he can fit into---he is not good at sports, he is not academically gifted, he loves music, but his coordination issues would make it very difficult for him to play in the band. The list goes on and on.

Thanks again and I do appreciate it.

Oh and I know he will freak out over the amount of the homework he will be given. He already HATES homework since he started it in kindergarten.

I hated homework with a passion. I don't know what your son is experiencing in public school. But for me. After a long day of school and the hell of dealing with bullies that goes along with it. I don't like the notion of bring any part of school home with me. Let alone, homework.

Be careful there. I too have been to both private and boarding school, and they are just as bad as public school when it come to bullies and social hierarchy.

Thanks LupaLuna-

I have heard that about private schools. The other thing is the cost of private school here is as much or more as we would pay for a college education and we are not even sure my son will be able to or want to go to college. I am just thinking that money would be put to better use saving for his future if he has difficulty keeping permanent employment in the future. Also, I have noticed with my son that if he is put in classes with kids that have bad behaviors, he will start to imitate those bad behaviors. Therefore, I feel that he could benefit from doing most of his learning at home free from all of the craziness of school and then have more free time to go out and socialize in more relaxed settings of his choice.

Are you worried about your son's social development or something else if you homeschool him?
Is he in any groups outside of school where he interacts with kids his age?
If you homeschool, I recommend that he join some group related to his interests and interacts with kids.
Also, it is good idea to teach him more and more independent living skills from this age, these skills tend to develop EF.
Social and EF development are probably the two main things he would get less of if you homeschool him, so if you focus on these more, then he wouldn't be missing much and likely be less stressed out.

I would definitely make sure he joins groups to work on socializing. And, I thought that it would be very helpful to really take the extra time at home to work on his self help and real life living skills. I guess I am concerned that he will miss some of the aspects of being around kids in a school setting, but at the same time, the older he gets, I don't think it will be as much fun as elementary school days. So I guess in a sense, I feel that maybe I will be taking something away from him since he really hasn't requested to be homeschooled. It is just my sense that things will be very tough for him in middle and high school since he doesn't have any friendships. I guess I have just read too much about what goes on in middle and high school and I can see the writing on the wall.