Are some people surprised you're autistic?

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Often times whenever I mention it to friends or doctors or something, they tell me I seem quite normal. I have an ex bestie that even insisted that I'm absolutely normal and that the professional diagnosis was nothing but a crock. She barely knew anything about Aspergers, only general autism. Anything like this happen to you?

Also, I get along ALOT better with people that are older than myself- it's always been like that. Is that the case with you too?

Sometimes, people say that they never would have guessed...which I find enraging, because it only proves how narrow our society's view of autism really is.

I don't know that they are necessarily surprised, but I am very much into metal music and metalheads aren't known for being the most 'normal' as far as fitting in society so many probably assume that accounts for it.

I've never had anyone tell me they didn't think I had autism, or they were surprised I did. I don't know if I just come across as more obviously autistic or different, or if the people around me don't care enough to comment.

All the time. I'm beginning to think alexithymia plays a role - I may be having sensory problems, cognitive problems, problems with emotions I can't interpret, physical problems, but you would never know it because I cannot express these things outwardly. Thus, I appear very "normal" especially if in a situation I was expecting and had prepared for in advance, for short periods of time.
There have also been a few threads on why people "complimenting" you by saying you don't seem autistic is offensive. General consensus being that they mean "not that defective," and therefore autistics are defective.
I defitely get on better with older people, and that had been so when I was younger and as an adult. No idea what'll happen if I live to be 90.

I generally get the "I never would have guessed" reaction. I try not to get upset about it, because I know most people are not going to be experts and only know the distorted picture they see in movies and on TV.

The only people who said, "yeah, this really does sound like you" were my wife and mom (once they heard what the characteristics are). My wife and family were the only ones who really saw the real me, not constantly trying to pretend to be NT.

Where I come from autism isn't really well known & even the so-called experts don't really know what it is. I was told that I communicated too well verbally & seemed too intelligent to have anything on the autism spectrum even thou my mom suspected I was on the spectrum sense I was a toddler cuz my traits were so obvious.

A lot of people have a hard time believing that someone who does not appear *to them* as autistic is autistic.

That's because of autistic people like me who are very withdrawn, don't appear to acknowledge others, don't appear to understand what is being said to them (or about them), don't respond, or respond in an unusual way, don't talk etc.

So when someone hears the term autistic, they expect someone more like me than someone like you.

Yes, all of them. It's really quite suspenseful & patronizing. Or whatever else people make of it.

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My other disability tends to mask my autism to a certain extent.

Struggling a lot with this at the moment - I was formally diagnosed only a couple of weeks ago at age 45 (I decided not to ever mention it prior to that, as I felt the need to have some kind of "facts" to back up what I thought I already knew.)

What frustrates me the most is the disbelief of friends who I have known in some cases for decades. They know that I have never had any romantic relationships in my life; saw me abuse myself with alcohol and drugs when I was a young man; have seen me melt down and disappear into the night when social/sensory situations have overwhelmed me; have openly criticised me for being "immature", "irrational" and "frustrating to deal with" etc. I have even unknowingly described my autistic traits to them quite explicitly in the past; "I'm not stupid, but I am slow"; "No, I don't understand this context that you expect me to intuit"; "I don't have a 'gut feeling' about this"; "I've tried 'just being myself', but that never seems to work out", "What do you mean 'she's interested in me'? How could you tell?".

Now that I can finally begin to explain these troublesome events in my life, all of a sudden people seem to behave as if an explanation for these things is no longer required. As far as I can tell, this is just because they can't face the intellectual 'burden' of trying to understand something that can't just be explained in a 'sound-bite' over a pint of beer.

Despite being diagnosed through a lengthy assessment, involving multiple professionals, all specialising in ASD, I just keep hearing that I'm "Just a bit quirky." (I have really come to loathe the word "quirky" - I find it incredibly dismissive)

Phew - sorry about that, rant over!!

Autism is hardly every on the NTs mind unless they have a child with it. Usually they assume something else is responsible for my behaviors. As a matter of fact nearly everything but autism. I've been accused of being on drugs, being drunk, a shoplifter, a mean person, just weird....oh and my personal favorite: "demon possessed"

I've noticed a trend, since my diagnosis 4 years ago...

People who believe my diagnosis:
- mental health professionals
- close family members
- people who know me best
- people who understand autism

People who don't believe my diagnosis:
- people who barely know me at all
- people who know nothing about autism
- people who prefer to think I just fail at life, with no excuse

Everyone knows something is "wrong" - they just can't pin point what it is that's "wrong". When I try to explain to people why I am the way I am, they act all surprised "you can't be autistic. You don't look it."

No one I've ever told said I was flat out wrong, though most of them were mere children.