Has any one trained to do more eye contact?

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A question--
has anyone learned to do more eye contact, and found a way to be comfortable with it, and
not unnerved or exhausted.

If so, how?

Or are there other workarounds, such as tinted glasses, hair over the eyes, looking elsewhere on
people's faces that you chose instead?

Did you observe people responding differently to you when you changed to more eye contact?

The one main stereotypical trait that I am told I do not have is aversion to eye contact.

This is not the case. I have become very good at looking at a person's nose, or focusing on small details about their eyes, one at a time. I cannot seem to look someone in the 'eyes', but rather alternate from one eye to another. I'll focus on their eyelashes (without squinting), their eyebrows, their crows feet, the colors of their eyes (trying to detect striations and patterns in it), etc. Anything that maintains the facade of eye contact, without being distraction. This helps, and is seen mostly (with me), when I meet someone new, am teaching, or talking to someone I don't know. I make unnerving eye contact, which tends to have them eventually looking away. If I can accompany it with animated speech, and punctuate with smiles and laughing, it helps from becoming awkward. This is very difficult to do, however, when it isn't a topic that I'm knowledgeable on or passionate about.

If I am lucky, I can be in a place that is very busy, and have a reason to look around, or I can talk to them while I walk next to them, which disguises the lack of eye contact. This helps with people who are acquaintances or friends, as I spend more time around them away from face to face interaction, and more to casual conversation (well, not meaningless small talk like someone in the grocery store).

This all tends to fail if I am, for instance, teaching in a very busy meeting (babywearing/parenting class), and there is too much commotion. I tend to go overboard in both directions at once, both staring too hard, and whipping my head around to see what is happening around me. So it is not a cure for all scenarios, but rather helps cope in many of them.

I have trained a lot but can’t make it an effortless habit.

As far as i am concerned,
i realized that what is actually difficult is less to look at others' eyes,
than to see that others look in yours.

I do not try anymore to "look in the eyes" of others, (i was staring)
i simply try to "let" them look in mines, (it is also easier)
sometimes i self-condition myself to "like it" (it looks better and you get a better return)
in conversations, i also regularly look aside for half a second, it looks more natural, and it gives half a second break

When i can do all of it, i have an great difference in the response.
It is easier with strangers for me.
I get smiles.
I like smiles a lot.

I had a boss that told me I lacked it which I was clueless about. He was not shy about telling when I was not doing it. I got good enough at for it to feel kind of normal. Never got the hang of how long you are supposed do it.

This! Probably don't work on it enough and it's not easy to make it a conscious habit in normally conversation which also inhibits progress. When I really concentrate I can make it better, but that concentration is at the expense of effort and energy so then leads to compromises for other social habits I need to stay on top of.

I did it on my own and it probably helped me become creepier.

No matter how hard I'd tried. I could never lock pupils with another person. The only thing I ever learned to do was cope by looking at their nose instead. locking pupils with another person creates this massive sensory torrent that feels like a tidal wave crashing down on you.

Hahahaha- this is a time that I definitely feel for the autistic guys. I am a female, so if I stare .... it's less "intimidating" BUT then all people mistake it for sexual interest- EVERYONE. men, women, straight, gay- everyone.
My mom says it makes her feel like a bug under a microscope that I'm dissecting with my eyes ....
Some people say it is unnerving as well.
Sometimes, I just don't realize it.... or sometimes I just don't care....
I'm like pick one- either this or nothing
That's why I like to have conversations when you don't have to face the other person. It just cuts down on all this unnecessary BS, but eye contact isn't really one of those things that salient for me... just because I guess NTs prefer it when you make more contact over none at all- so I guess it's okay then. It isn't a huge problem.

I did.

I have to maintain the practice or it goes away.

Try this, use only one eye. Now 2. The visual system has 2 pathways, one that goes straight to the limbic system which is theorized to be overactive in asd. It is not moderated so just by closing one eye, you feel less anxiety.

I do anyways. This one eye test hasn't been in a study. Just something I noticed and had it repeated by others. It does make sense given the way our visual system works.

When you do this, do people not think that you are winking at them?

thanks to everyone who is replying and to everyone who responded to the poll. Results and longer comments are really interesting...will help me decide what to try.

Sometimes people tried to find ways to force me to look at them. The problem is that I don't think in words so converting my thoughts to words isn't an easy task, and I can't do 2 tasks (converting my thoughts into words and looking at somebody / something specific) at the same time. It's even relatively hard to speak while walking... How people can do that is beyond my comprehension. They must be superheroes.

What I do is look at them very briefly now and then while simultaneously smiling a little and/or nodding. I can't manage prolonged eye contact but with these signals they'll get the feeling that I understand/agree with them. Even when that's not necessarily the case, the result is there and that's what matters right?

I wear sunglasses whenever I can. I always have. I've never liked to look people in the eye and there are some people that I absolutely can not bring myself to make eye contact with. I just recently figured out I am autistic.

I used to drink a lot. I've been sober a long time and in AA they always talk about being able to look people in the eye. I think I am more awkward and likely to say the wrong thing now because I am aware that eye contact is a big deal. I never knew that it was.

I've been trying on-off ever since i found out that people expect it, and I didn't do it.
I'm stil not comfortable doing it.

I find it almost impossible to talk and do it at the same time. I
usually look somewhere else. it's like my brain is not prosessing
the images, when I talk.
I only remember what I see as blurry images, like it is severely out of focus.

When listening, I have to think about it all the time, which causes me to
miss parts of the conversation.

It's easier with people I know, and are comfortable with.

My solution is a short peek once in a while. It ought to be enough to
convice the talking party, that I'm still listening.

Hmm... few days old thread, but I'm gunna jump on the back of this revival because I have something to input.

I recently had (failed) CBT for anxiety (honestly, I don't think generalised CBT is very good at taking into account autistic issues and just how in-grained two-decade-matured anxiety responses can be), and one of the things my psychologist kept trying to make me do was eye contact.

I mean after a while it was physically easy to do, even if it made me incredibly uncomfortable, but outside of the therapy, I never used what I was told in real life, because I felt I don't need to do it (unlike in the therapy when I was forced to do it). It was too much hassle for too little gains.

I think the thing with eye contact is it's not a requirement in life, but NTs seem to think we need it. I find it hard to understand why someone would want me looking into their eyes for a whole conversation, and I hate it when people try to do eye contact with me. It kind of feels like one of those things where society wants us to conform to their ideas of normality for the sake of what they think should be normal.